Thursday, May 01, 2008

Faith, Perspective, and Letting Go

Well, today is the 1st of the month, and we still have no clue if or when we will get the rent money for this month. I woke up thinking that our life may be VERY different in the very near future! The last few days, I have been feeling like I am PMSing, but it certainly isn’t the time for it… well, now that I think about it and look at the calendar, maybe it is… time sure flies when you’re having fun!

Anyway, I have felt a little “off” lately.

CB sent me the Spirit of Prophecy this morning:

Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns — May 1, 2008:
In the process of time, you are ending a cycle that began about seven years ago. And, you will undergo an accelerated separation from the past that will create a division that cannot be bridged. Certainly, you will never be able to go back, nor should you look back. This chasm is ever widening, and your spiritual landscape is ever changing, but you can only move into the next phase of your existence as you have freedom to do so. Disappointments and regrets from the past can keep you bound and unable to progress, so now is the time to completely release everything that brought a sense of failure or reproach. Let go and be free, says the Lord.
"Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead." Philippians 3:13

It is interesting that seven years ago was when Tom started the Pure Desire ministry and when our marriage started turning around.

I have been struggling the last couple of days because I feel like Tom has been pulling away from me, “medicating” on basketball and other sports, as well as food again. He is staying up way too late, then taking naps during the day, and his schedule is all messed up. We haven’t been praying or worshiping together, and I have really needed that! I have tried so hard not to be unpleasant to be with (not always successfully!) and have really focused on praying for him more because I know he is under a huge amount of pressure.

Well, today, when he came home from his morning meeting, he got on his knees and asked me to forgive him for not leading me spiritually the way he should have been! Wow, thank you, Jesus! He had a good time with the Lord this morning, and I am guessing he was feeling convicted about his poor choices.

Father, I pray that we can both stay on track and continue to look at You and not our circumstances!

One of the things Tom said was that he needed to keep the right perspective as a “servant/slave” and not demand that God give him an answer. He has been so focused on how people see him and worrying about disappointing others, but the bottom line is that we have to do what our Lord, Master, and King has asked us to do—no matter what others think or say. This is tough!

Oswald Chambers' Devotion for Today:

Faith — Not Emotion

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7

For a while, we are fully aware of God's concern for us. But then, when God begins to use us in His work, we start to take on a pitiful look and talk only of our trials and difficulties. And all the while, God is trying to make us do our work as hidden people who are not in the spotlight.

None of us would be hidden spiritually if we could help it. Can we do our work when it seems that God has sealed up heaven? Some of us always want to be brightly illuminated saints with golden halos and the continual glow of inspiration, always surrounded by other saints of God. But a self-assured saint is of no value to God. He is abnormal, unfit for daily life, and completely unlike God.

We are here, not as immature angels, but as men and women, to do the work of this world. And we are to do it with an infinitely greater power to withstand the struggle because we have been born from above.

If we continually try to bring back those exceptional moments of inspiration, it is a sign that we do not truly want God. We become obsessed with the moments when God spoke to us before, insisting that He must do it again. But what God wants is for us to walk by faith.

How many of us have said, "I cannot do anything else until God appears to me?" He will never do it.

We must get up on our own—without any inspiration, without any sudden touch from God. Then comes our surprise, and we find ourselves exclaiming, "Why, He was there all the time, and I never knew it!"

Never live for those exceptional moments—they are surprises. God will give us His touches of inspiration only when He sees that we are not in danger of being led away by them.

We must never consider our moments of inspiration as the standard way of life.
Our work is our standard.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Cool Connections and Deeper Questions

Things are still going well! I continue to do what I am supposed to do—thank You, Lord, for Your strength and faithfulness—and as a result Tom and I are doing very well. Here is another one of my favorite Power of a Praying Wife prayers:

Lord, I lay all my expectations at Your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only You, Lord, are perfect, and I look to You to perfect us. May we be “perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.” (1 Corinthians 1:10)

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

Since I tend to be a “fixer,” this prayer is always a good reminder of who the real changer and fixer is—and that I should look to my Lord and Savior to fulfill me instead of my husband. Easier said than done! Thank You, Lord, for Your strength, guidance, and direction.

God has been doing some “cool connections” lately. Last Friday, Tom and I went to a Mexican restaurant before the Truth Project meeting, and just after we sat down, some friends walked in! We were able to visit and share a meal with them—a wonderful surprise blessing. Then tonight, since my group wasn’t meeting, Tom and I decided to step out for a little while to give M and L some time together. We ended up at a coffee shop we had never been to before, and one of A’s old school friends was working there! He was able to chat with us between customers. Another sweet connection the Lord arranged.

Speaking of M and L, we’ve been having some great conversations with M lately. On Tuesday night, after finishing a late conference call, he sat down with us for a while. Tom and I were reading a thought-provoking piece called Do You Know What Really Annoys Me About God? by Dr. Barry Chant, and we read some of it aloud to him. That opened up a meaningful discussion. M asked questions about what we were doing and why, and even shared some of his own thoughts. He said we wouldn’t believe how many people have been asking him about us! Apparently, our mutual friends are curious about where we’ve been staying and what we’re doing. He admitted that people seem more nervous about bringing it up than he feels about answering. It turned into such a good exchange, and we were able to lay hands on him and pray since he’s been experiencing some unusual physical issues.

Then tonight, while making dinner, we had another honest conversation—this one about parenting, the mistakes we made with our kids, and the importance of asking their forgiveness. Again, it was real and life-giving. Thank You, Jesus, for opening these doors.

Another area God has been stretching us in is how we think about salvation. We’ve been questioning some of the religious filters we grew up with. Tom has been digging deeply into the Scriptures, especially around the question: “Teacher, what must I do to be saved?” For years, we were taught that saying the “sinner’s prayer” was the key to salvation. But when you actually read the New Testament, no one prays that prayer!

I used to believe “once saved, always saved,” but not anymore. As I read passages written to believers about being “cut off and thrown into the fire” (John 15), or excluded from the wedding banquet, I realized: this is serious. Romans 10:9–10, the verse often used for the sinner’s prayer, was also written to believers—something I had never considered before.

I still don’t claim to fully understand, but the Lord keeps bringing me back to this: it’s all about the heart. I prayed the sinner’s prayer years ago, and God has been transforming me ever since. But I’ve also seen people pray that same prayer and later fall away—just like the parable of the sower describes. Only God knows the heart. He’ll use whatever He can, even TV evangelists, to draw people to Himself. But we must keep “straining ahead” and continue believing in Him. It’s a lifelong action—we don’t “arrive” until heaven.

Here’s an excerpt from another document Tom found—Eternal Security? by Tim Warner—that really resonated with me:

Now, some might assume this means one can never depart from God. But this is not true. Many passages indicate true Christians can be lost. How? Through UNBELIEF. One must believe the gospel in order to be saved, and one must continue to believe the gospel to continue “in Christ.” It is as simple as that. Works don't play any part in initial “believing,” nor do they play a part in your continued “believing.” It is initially by faith, and it continues to be by faith throughout the Christian life.

I thought that was really good!

Overall, our days continue to be full—meeting with people, attending gatherings, and seeking to pursue the Lord in our personal walk, staying obedient to what He asks each day. What a great life this is. And as always, He proves faithful, providing for us day by day.