Tuesday, December 02, 2008

It’s Not About Me

A piece from today’s Oswald:

"When you obey the call of Jesus Christ, the first thing that hits you is the pointlessness of the things you have to do. The next thought that strikes you is that other people seem to be living perfectly consistent lives. Such lives may leave you with the idea that God is unnecessary --- that through your own human effort and devotion you can attain God's standard for your life. In a fallen world this can never be done. I am called to live in such a perfect relationship with God that my life produces a yearning for God in the lives of others, not admiration for myself. Thoughts about myself hinder my usefulness to God. God's purpose is not to perfect me to make me a trophy in His showcase; He is getting me to the place where He can use me. Let Him do what He wants."

This was a topic that came up in one of my meetings today—that God would be so much a part of my (our) life that others see HIM and desire God in their own lives. And most importantly, IT’S NOT ABOUT ME!! It is what GOD is doing in me that has an effect on others. I feel like I have to say that many times over and over again because that is one of the many things I tend to trip over… over and over again ;)

One of the things I forgot to mention in my last entry was God’s financial provision. God has been providing through G and F, but last week I only spent two hours with them on Tuesday, and since my normal day with them is Thursday (and that was Thanksgiving) they didn’t need me. It is so cool how God provided the house-sitting job at just this time to more than make up for the financial provision. Thank you Lord for your faithfulness!

Another very cool thing happened tonight. LB, Tom and I were eating dinner and she asked if we had a place to go when their kids got here for the holidays. We said not yet but we knew God had a place already prepared for us (I shared the revelation that God gave Tom at BA’s house), we just didn’t know where yet. I asked her when her kids would be here (because I never really heard a definite date and we were guessing around the 17th) and she said the Sunday before Christmas.

So, tonight I get an email from a friend who lives just down the street and she said that she will be going out of town for two weeks and wanted to know if we needed a place to stay while she was away. Here is a part of her email:

"I'm not sure if I mention to you that I am planning to be away for the majority of a two week stretch the end of December. I was wondering if you and Tom needed a place to stay during that time. It would be Dec. 21–Jan 4th. I'd love to open my home to you during this time. I hope you will consider it and decide you can come."

When I looked at the calendar (and then I asked Mark for confirmation of the date), the 21st is the day their kids will be arriving… OH MY GOSH! Is God not amazing or what! So, we have a place to stay for the rest of the year and through the 4th of next year. I am once again amazed at God and His wonderful faithfulness and perfect timing :) He even gave us a little advanced notice this time! I actually think He did that for M and L, because I think they were concerned about “putting us out” without a place to stay. Now they are seeing how He is working in our lives and they are praising God :)

Just as an interesting side note, when we went to pick up the check from T last night we asked her if she had plans to go out of town for the Christmas holiday. She said she wasn’t sure but thought they might go the week after Christmas… (the same week that M and A needed us). That would be three houses that we will possibly be watching during that week. I pray that we are able to manage it all! Lord, you said you wouldn’t give us more than we could handle… right!? :)

Thursday, December 04, 2008

The Law of Opposition

“He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.” Revelation 2:7 

Life without war is impossible in the natural or the supernatural realm. It is a fact that there is a continuing struggle in the physical, mental, moral, and spiritual areas of life.

Health is the balance between the physical parts of my body and all the things and forces surrounding me. To maintain good health I must have sufficient internal strength to fight off the things that are external. Everything outside my physical life is designed to cause my death. The very elements that sustain me while I am alive work to decay and disintegrate my body once it is dead. If I have enough inner strength to fight, I help to produce the balance needed for health.

The same is true of the mental life. If I want to maintain a strong and active mental life, I have to fight. This struggle produces the mental balance called thought.

Morally it is the same. Anything that does not strengthen me morally is the enemy of virtue within me. Whether I overcome, thereby producing virtue, depends on the level of moral excellence in my life. But we must fight to be moral. Morality does not happen by accident; moral virtue is acquired.

And spiritually it is also the same. Jesus said, “In the world you will have tribulation . . .” (John 16:33). This means that anything which is not spiritual leads to my downfall. Jesus went on to say, “. . . but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” I must learn to fight against and overcome the things that come against me, and in that way produce the balance of holiness. Then it becomes a delight to meet opposition.

Holiness is the balance between my nature and the law of God as expressed in Jesus Christ.

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Ok, this spoke to my heart in a big way this morning! I feel like all I have been doing the last couple of weeks is battling the “Law of Opposition”!! Physically I am fighting to recover from the crud, trying to figure out how much I should work out to keep from relapsing, trying to balance my eating so that during this down time I am not over-eating and gaining…

Morally I don’t struggle so much, but mentally the battle rages night and day! I guess that could also be considered “spiritual battle” since the enemy is constantly challenging my thoughts on my marriage, children, ministry and situation.

Thank you Jesus that you have “overcome the world”! Help me Lord to “learn to fight against and overcome the things that come against me, and in that way produce the balance of holiness”… so that it will become a delight to meet opposition.

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10:45pm – The Lord is so faithful to answer our prayers!! I continued to struggle today with these stupid mental battles and I kept thinking I needed to talk with Tom about what a lame husband he has been lately (the distorted views projected by the enemy). I have a habit of isolating and avoiding him when I struggle which does not help matters. Tonight my group didn’t meet and Tom’s meeting canceled so I asked him if we could spend some time together.

But, before that, I picked up a book that L showed me a week or so ago by Beth Moore called Praying God’s Word. I started reading it tonight while Tom was working on something and I felt like the Holy Spirit led me to it because I was reading exactly what I needed to hear. It is so sad that you can “know” something and “teach” something but not necessarily be able to apply it to your own life on a consistent basis.

Beth was talking about the full armor of God and how all but one piece of the armor was “defensive” in nature. The one “offensive” weapon the Lord gives us is the “Word” of God, but she notes that 2 Corinthians 10:3 states that we have “weapons” of warfare, and then points out that the scripture right after listing the armor says that we should “pray in the Spirit on all occasions…”

Ephesians 6:17–18 – “Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.”

So, our weapons are the Word and Prayer, and she likens them to sticks of dynamite (to demolish strongholds in our lives). When two sticks of dynamite are wrapped together they are more powerful than two placed in separate places.

This seems so silly because I already “know” these things, but tonight the Holy Spirit showed me that I was not applying the information to myself and using the weapons properly. I have been praying A LOT and repeating scriptures that I know, but I have not been praying the WORD. Thank you Jesus for helping me in this daily battle in so many ways! Not only do you supply the weapons, you give me the strength to use them and Your Holy Spirit guides and teaches me when I forget. I feel so lame!!

Anyway, I ended up emotionally and spiritually throwing up all over Tom tonight, but I feel so much better :) I told him that I really needed his prayers and support to help me get through this battle, so he prayed for me and we spent more time reading and praying God’s Word. Thank you Lord for being so faithful even when I am so weak and pathetic. Father, please forgive my arrogance, pride and self-idolizing and help me to be more like you. Holy Spirit thank you for your guidance, encouragement and strength to do the will of my Father. In Jesus name, amen.

Here are a couple prayers from Beth’s book that I combined:

"Father, I acknowledge that You are the Lord Almighty. You are the first and You are the last, and apart from You there is no other God. Make me witness to the fact that there is no other Rock but you. Enable me to say with full assurance, ‘I know not one.’ (Isa. 44:6, 8) You are my Lord, my Holy One, my Creator, my King. You are the One who made a way through the sea, a path through mighty waters. (Isa. 43:15–16) My Father, You are the Lord my God. I desire to love you, listen to Your voice, and hold fast to You, for You Lord are my life."

Friday, December 05, 2008

Battling the Mind, Quenching the Thirst

I woke up this morning with the battle of the mind still raging… arrrggghhh. I’ve let the “infection” go on too long, and now it feels like I need several doses of double “dynamite” to remove this stronghold. So, I got up and went straight to Beth’s book Praying God’s Word. The Lord spoke to me in a powerful way through one of her reflections:

“Why does God allow us to spend so much of life in the heat of battle? Because He never meant for us to sip His Spirit like a proper cup of tea. He meant for us to hold our sweating heads over the fountain and lap up His life with unquenchable thirst.”

Wow. I had to read that several times before it began to sink into my spirit. Then I had to set the book down and just meditate on it. Tears filled my eyes as I realized—this is exactly what I’ve been doing. I’ve been driven to Him, desperate to quench my thirst and longing for the peace and victory that only He can give. Lord, You are amazing.

As I thought more about strongholds, it struck me that maybe there’s more to this battle of the mind than I’ve recognized. Why do I keep struggling with the same things again and again? Perhaps there’s a deeper root—unforgiveness, pride, or something hidden—that I haven’t yet uncovered. It’s like an infection that keeps returning if you don’t take the full course of medicine.

Lord, if there is something hidden that I need to address, please reveal it to me by Your Holy Spirit, so that it can be removed completely. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Repentance, Rest, and Renewal

Here is a part of yesterday’s Oswald:

"The entrance into the kingdom of God is through the sharp, sudden pains of repentance colliding with man's respectable 'goodness.' Then the Holy Spirit, who produces these struggles, begins the formation of the Son of God in the person's life (Gal. 4:19). This new life will reveal itself in conscious repentance followed by unconscious holiness, never the other way around. The foundation of Christianity is repentance. Strictly speaking, a person cannot repent when he chooses—repentance is a gift of God. The old Puritans used to pray for 'the gift of tears.' If you ever cease to understand the value of repentance, you allow yourself to remain in sin. Examine yourself to see if you have forgotten how to be truly repentant."

Soooo… is this the answer to my prayer from the Holy Spirit? Am I truly repenting, or am I just “sorry” for what I’ve done? Holy Spirit, please help me to examine myself and teach me what it means to truly repent.

Then, in my study this morning, I came across this verse:

Isaiah 30:15 – “This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.’”

Not only am I wondering about repentance, but resting is always very difficult for me! And yet both are clearly so important to the Lord. I pray that I can learn how to walk in them both soon.

On Friday night we had dinner at S and S’s house with two other couples. It was such a good evening of fellowship and catching up. Toward the end of the night, S shared that they had an agenda for gathering us—they wanted to go deeper in studying the Holy Spirit. They asked NL if he would lead a study, and he said he had already been feeling led in that direction! Their invitation was a confirmation for him. We’re starting this coming Friday night, and then we’ll find a regular time that works for everyone. I’m so excited about this. We just happened to be there when the invitation came, but I believe it was all part of God’s plan.

Saturday night was the Kingdom Growth Guide at A and CB’s house. It was a small group—just five of us—but so rich. Each of us had the chance to share and dig deep. While Tom was reading from the guide, the question came up about the Tree of Life. Suddenly it struck me: what if Jesus Himself is the Tree of Life? He is “the way, the truth, and the life.” He is the living water. The bread of life. There are so many scriptures pointing to Him as life itself. He was hung on a tree, and when we eat of His flesh and drink of His blood, we receive eternal life. I don’t know the full answer, but it’s such an interesting thought.

On Sunday morning, Tom and I went for a drive and had a really good talk. Just having that intentional time together made me feel connected again. It amazes me how you can be in the same room with someone all the time, yet without sharing deep thoughts and feelings, distance creeps in.

I’ve also started going through the Bible in a year again, this time in chronological order. Between that, my study, and my personal reading, I feel like I can’t get enough of the Word.

Today I got an email from T—she needs us from December 24–28. Praise God, we’ll be able to do it! That means we’ll only have two houses at once, which is definitely manageable.

And finally, here’s another prayer from The Power of a Praying Wife that I’m holding onto today:

Lord, I pray that the commitment my husband and I have to You and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable him to be the head of the home as You designed, and show me how to support and respect him in that place of leadership. Reveal to me what he wants and needs, and show me potential problems before they arise. Breathe Your life into our marriage. Make me a new person, Lord—give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You’ve given me. Help me to see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance. Give my husband a new wife, and let it be me.

Matthew 7:7–8 – “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Inspired Anew

Today was another good day… although it started out strange. I slept in way too late so I was frustrated that I didn’t have the time I needed to get things done before I went to G and F’s. I think because it was dark and stormy outside my body did not respond to waking up since there was no light in the room.

Anyway, today I picked up an elderly friend and brought her to G and F’s so that they could meet. They are all older, widowed women and they live right down the street from each other so I felt led by the Lord to introduce them. It went very well and I think they really enjoyed the visit with each other.

When I was taking my friend home she asked me to tell her where Tom and I were so I told her it was a long story but that I would love to tell her. It had been awhile since we had last talked so she invited me into her home and I shared a very abbreviated version of our story. She was fascinated and was very encouraged and inspired by what God is doing in our lives.

It helped me also to tell the story of God’s faithfulness again as I am always inspired anew when I tell the story :) I really needed to be inspired again!

Friday, December 12, 2008

When the Road Gets Rough

Today did not go well for Tom. After having a good day yesterday, he started out for his breakfast meeting this morning and was greeted with a flat tire. He tried to pump it up, but nothing was happening. So, he used the can of flat fix that R gave us to see if that would help. It seemed to work a little bit—it got me to my lunch meeting and back—but by the time Tom needed to run errands, it was flat again.

He put the donut on and took the tire to Merchants to see if they could repair it, but apparently, once you put flat fix in a tire, they can’t repair it. DOH! So now it appears we may need a new tire. The guy at Merchants did take out the metal piece that had caused the problem, and Tom pumped it up again. We are praying that with the flat fix still inside, it will hold air. He has not been a happy camper today, and I’m trying really hard not to respond to him but instead to pray for him. I know that God has a plan and we just need to trust Him.

I don’t know what is going on with our tires lately!! BY replaced at least two of them last year because they were worn down to the steel belt, and for years we hadn’t had any issues with picking up random sharp objects. But now it seems like nails, screws, and twisted metal pieces are magnets to our tires!

We’re going to S and S’s house tonight for the Holy Spirit study, so I pray that the Lord shows up in a mighty way and touches Tom’s heart.

Power of a Praying Wife prayer:
Lord, You alone know the depth of the burden my husband carries. I may understand the specifics, but You have measured the weight of it on his shoulders. I've not come to minimize what You are doing in his life, for I know You work great things in the midst of trials. Nor am I trying to protect him from what he must face. I only want to support him so that he will get through this battle as the winner. Help him to remember that "the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand" (Psalm 37:23–24).

"You have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ."
—1 Peter 1:6–7

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Trials, Provision, and Prayer

Our meeting at S and S’s house was great! It started off on a high note when we walked in and Steve told us that during his quiet time with the Lord that morning he received the baptism of the Holy Spirit and got his prayer language! He was on cloud nine and was overflowing emotionally the whole night—it was so wonderful! :) We all shared some of our testimonies and then dug into the Word and talked about the “humanity” of Christ.

Just to add to Tom’s already “wonderful” day, while he was eating dinner one of his crowns broke out… that did not add to his happiness at all. Fortunately, it is not painful for him, but it is just one less tooth he has to work with. I have been praying for options for him. I looked on Craig’s List for a bartering opportunity (dental work for house cleaning, painting, yard work… whatever!) and someone responded with the idea that we could go to the UNC dental school for free or very cheap. Tom is not ready to do that just yet, so we will wait and see what God will do.

As we were on our way home from S and S’s house, N and T called us and said God told them to give us what was in N’s wallet. So we turned around, met them up the street, and they gave us $37.00! Thank you, Lord, for your provision! Also, during our prayer time, N felt led to pray for our tire :) Lord, please let it hold air or work out a way to get a new one.

This morning we went hiking at Raven’s Rock with E and the kids. It was a beautiful day—a little chilly, but nice hiking weather. We took our camera, and at the end of the hike the digital viewer decided to fritz out. At first we were concerned it was completely broken, but thank goodness it will still take pictures—we just can’t preview them from the display before taking the shot. So, we have the tire, tooth, and camera casualties the last two days. I am so glad that my Father in heaven is in control and is a good provider :) Thank you in advance for resolving all these issues for us!

After Raven’s Rock we went back to E’s, hung out, and played the rest of the day. It was a very nice, relaxing day! We made this Saturday our family day because we are going to another couple’s house for an Acts Bible study reunion and holiday gathering tomorrow evening.

On the drive to E’s in the morning, Tom and I had another good talk. We were able to discuss where we both were and clear some things up between us. I think I will give credit to the prayer that was laid out for our marriages last night. We all felt like the enemy was working us overtime, so there was much prayer for all of our marriages. Thank you, Jesus, for your body that lifts us up and supports us!

The donut is still on the car and it got us back and forth from E’s… I think we will try to put the regular tire on tomorrow…

Power of a Praying Wife prayer:

God, You are our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). You have invited us to “come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16). I come before your throne and ask for grace for my husband. Strengthen his heart for this battle and give him patience to wait on You (Psalm 27:1–4). Build him up so that no matter what happens he will be able to stand strong through it. Help him to be always “rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer” (Romans 12:12). Give him endurance to run the race and not give up, for You have said that “a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again” (Proverbs 24:16).

“You, who have shown me great and severe troubles, shall revive me again, and bring me up again from the depths of the earth. You shall increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side.”
—Psalm 71:20–21