Thursday, December 13, 2007

Hearing God in the Uncertainty

There’s a lot to catch up on.

First, I had a meeting with KT about mentoring. We had a great conversation, getting to know each other, and I shared the Reader’s Digest version of what’s been happening in our lives. She could relate—she and her husband had gone on a faith walk when they first moved out here. At the end of our discussion, she asked where I wanted to go in my walk with God. I told her I wanted to follow His lead. I feel called to start a house church, but I don’t feel ready yet—I want to be. She encouraged me to pray and ask the Lord about my next step and let her know when He reveals it. So, that’s where I am with that.

Meanwhile, Tom had a meeting with the pastor today about the Pure Desire ministry within Hope and Foursquare. The conversation took an unexpected turn. Tom thought they’d discuss our financial situation and how it looks to others, but he didn’t have time to explain everything. The pastor didn’t fully understand and told Tom he needed to find a job—any job—as soon as possible. He asked Tom to pray about it, talk with me, and let him know our decision. I really feel like we need to sit down with the pastor and his wife, lay out the whole story, and pray that the Lord shows them what He is showing us.

Tom came home emotionally drained, confused, and questioning if we had truly heard from God. He was in tears, praying that we hadn’t made a mistake. He didn’t want to ignore our pastor’s advice—he wanted to take it seriously and consider it. Exhausted, he laid down for a nap while I worked.

I hadn’t done my devotional yet, so I opened my Hope Journal. That day’s reading was Hebrews 9-11. When I got to Hebrews 10:35, it felt like God was speaking directly to us:

"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, 'He who is coming will come and will not delay.' But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."

"But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved."

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for." (Hebrews 11:1)

Wow. I heard God loud and clear—don’t throw away your confidence! Don’t shrink back! Keep pressing forward. Persevere, and we will receive what He has promised. Thank you, Jesus!

Tom didn’t sleep well. While lying there, he was overwhelmed by a deep sense of despair and doom. He cried out to God to save him. In his distress, he could barely breathe. He pleaded with God to help him, and suddenly, peace washed over him—his breathing cleared, and he felt relief.

He got up and went to the bathroom, where his Bible was open to Lamentations 3. When he read verses 22-36, they spoke straight to his heart:

"Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’"

"The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD."

"For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love."

He felt like he had received an answer, too.

We got down on our knees and repented of our sins, praying that the Lord would remove anything in us that was not of Him. We asked Him to fill us with His Spirit and truth. We prayed that if the pastor’s advice was from Him, we would receive it, but that He would also direct our path and keep us from going astray.

Afterward, we felt peace. We spent the rest of the evening reading Houses That Changed the World—feeling renewed in our faith, knowing God was guiding us.

Friday, December 14, 2007

The Moving Rope—A Dream to Ponder

I had a very weird dream this morning.

I was in the office at home, talking on my cell phone, when I noticed something strange—a rope inside a box under my desk was moving. Slowly, but unmistakably, it was making its way out of the box. I tried to stay focused on my conversation, but I couldn’t ignore the rope.

Finally, I ran out of the room, calling for CT, who was spending the night on the couch, to come see it. I was so distracted that I completely checked out of my phone conversation, and the person on the other end eventually hung up on me. When I told CT, she was furious. She insisted that whoever I had been talking to was probably pouring out their heart, and I had just dissed them.

Still upset, CT got up to look, but she didn’t really see. She dismissed it, saying, “Ok, fine, it’s a rope,” and walked away. Apparently, she didn’t see what I saw.

Meanwhile, the rope had fully emerged from the box and was now moving down the hallway. I called out to Tom’s sister, who was in the bathroom getting ready for bed. She saw the rope but didn’t see it moving.

I don’t remember feeling afraid—just deeply intrigued and somewhat concerned.

Then, I decided to go to bed and forget about it. But as I lay there, I looked down the hallway and saw the rope suddenly increase in speed, rushing toward my bedroom. It came up the side of the bed. Instinctively, I grabbed it with my left hand, wondering if I had the strength to hold it back. It didn’t feel strong, and I held it easily—until it started wrapping around my arm with pieces of twine. That freaked me out enough to wake me up.

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When I thought about the dream afterward, I realized that in the dream, I had been calling out to CT and Tom’s sister with deep emotion, but my words weren’t coming out clearly. I think I may have been trying to call out in real life while sleeping, which made my voice sound muffled.

I’m not entirely sure what this dream means, but it felt significant.

What does the rope signify?
What is coming after me?
Could it be the encroaching timeline of debt and the unresolved house situation?

I’m pretty sure this is spiritual. Things that make you go hmmm…

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Note from Linda 2022:
I never got a full interpretation of this dream, except for the part where I grabbed the rope with my left hand. But as I read this again, I wonder…

Did CT and Tom’s sister represent the people around us who couldn’t see what God was doing in our lives? The ones who were frustrated with us—who thought we were completely off our rocker?

Monday, December 17, 2007

Plans, Plans, and More Plans

Yesterday, Tom and I decided to go to the Acts Bible Study (or house church) instead of our usual church service. B and C had invited us when we were at K and S’s, and we really enjoyed it.

During the study, there was a word in tongues that was interpreted. The message was clear—God was seeing and hearing nothing but our endless plans, plans, and more plans. But what He wanted was for us to wait on Him and trust Him for the outcome of everything.

We are just a piece of the great tapestry He is weaving.
We can do nothing on our own.
We must rely completely on Him.

The moment I heard it, I felt such a release of responsibility—a permission to stop striving, to simply take each day as it comes and let Him weave His plan. I realized that Tom and I had been so focused on doing—on making the house church happen—that we were missing the point.

I told Tom, “I am not going to do anything except take one step at a time and let God do the leading!”

The word had such authority, there was no doubt in my mind—it was from God.

Later, I was talking with C, sharing a little more about where we were—our meeting with the pastor, and the Word we had received from Hebrews. She said she felt that God was using us in a powerful way, part of the movement so many are feeling from the Holy Spirit. She wanted to set up a time to meet within the next week or two.

While I was talking with C, Tom was talking with NL. N told Tom that we needed to get together for dinner soon—he wanted to hear our story and share theirs.

Wow. I feel God directing our paths in a real, direct, and mighty way.

Praise You, Jesus!
Lead the way, and I will follow.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Trusting God More and More

Yesterday was such a good day.

I met with JW at the mall for a walk and talk since it was 31 degrees outside. We walked for an hour and fifteen minutes—easily over three miles! I was pretty tired afterward but feeling accomplished.

Then, I did a little shopping for CT’s birthday before meeting AR for lunch. Lunch was awesome. I really wanted to share all that God is doing, but I wasn’t sure if we’d have enough time. But God worked it out, and I was able to share so much!

AR responded just as I hoped she would—she saw the spiritual testing of our faith, the deep work God is doing, rather than just focusing on the financial side of things. She asked if the pastor knew all of this, and I explained how Tom had met with him on Friday. She felt the pastor needed to hear the whole story from beginning to end—that if he did, he might understand more clearly.

We prayed for each other, and the prayer was so powerful! I truly felt like God was placing her in our lives for prayer covering. I gave her a list of scriptures, and she said she would use them to pray for us. That blessed me so much! We promised to keep in touch, and she encouraged me to email her if I needed prayer.

Thank you, Jesus!

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When I got home, I asked Tom how his day was. He said it was interesting.

The pastor had called, following up on our decision. Tom wrestled with pride and frustration all day and hadn’t called him back because he didn’t know what to say.

I told him, “Just tell him we’d like to get together with him and his wife to share the whole story. If, after that, he still feels the same way, then he should do what he feels he needs to do, and we will do what we feel we need to do.”

So, Tom called him back and said just that. The pastor was very open to it and truly wanted to hear us out. We are planning to meet sometime between Christmas and New Year's.

Wow.

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More Scripture Confirmations

This morning, in the Hope Life Journal, I read this:

"Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him, God the Father has placed his seal of approval.”
John 6:26-27

I had never seen this passage like this before! It felt like God was confirming that we are working for the right things. This will be a great scripture to share with the pastor.

Also, on Sunday, at the house church, one of the women said she felt that somebody needed to read Ecclesiastes. I didn’t feel like it was for me, so I let it go. But Monday night, I kept feeling a strong prompting to read the Bible. It wouldn’t go away.

When I opened my Bible, it landed right at the end of Proverbs, and I noticed the tab for Ecclesiastes. That reminded me of what the woman had said, so I read it all the way through.

One passage stood out, and the Holy Spirit keeps bringing it to mind:

"A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge, and happiness, but to the sinner, he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind."
Ecclesiastes 2:24-26

When I told Tom, he laughed and said, “Well, we just need to find a sinner and have him hand over his wealth!”

I’m not sure what this all means, but these little pieces are coming together in interesting ways.

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Lord, You Are Everything

You are the Way, the Truth, and the Light.
You are our Provider and our Healer.
Nothing is ours—it’s all Yours.
And we trust You more and more with all that we are and all that You have given us.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Seeing God’s Glory in the Waiting

God is so good!

I had dinner with LD last night, and we had such an awesome conversation! I shared my dream with her, and she offered some great insight.

She pointed out that whatever the rope represents, it’s something only I can see. No one else in the dream saw it moving.

She suggested that it could be something affecting the ministry—maybe even connected to the person who called and hung up on me. But I didn’t recognize the caller as someone I would counsel, and in the dream, I knew I needed to refer him to Tom. So I’m not sure about that interpretation.

Then she asked if I was right-handed. When I said yes, she explained that my left hand could represent a weakness—but the fact that I was able to hold the rope shows that I am gaining strength and control over whatever this is.

That really made me think. What is the rope? Childhood trauma? My marriage? My ministry? None of those quite felt like it. But I know God will reveal it in His perfect timing.

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LD also asked if I would mentor her!

How cool is that?? I now have both a mentor and someone who wants me to mentor them!

Thank you, Jesus!

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The Word That Speaks to This Season

Today's Hope Journal scripture was John 9-11, which includes some of the scriptures God has given us during this season.

One passage stood out:

"But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days."
John 11:39

I couldn’t help but laugh—our financial situation is getting to the point of stinking! It is beyond our ability to do anything about it. If it is going to turn around, it will take the hand of God to raise it from the dead!

Then, the story of the blind man:

"His disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."
John 9:2-3

Jesus keeps reminding us—it’s not about us. This is for His glory.

Are we willing to risk everything to trust Him?

YES!!

I believe You, Lord, and I give all the praise, honor, and glory to You!

Amen.