Friday, April 11, 2008

Another Job Offer… But What Is God Saying?

Yesterday was a good day.

I started my morning on the treadmill, praising the Lord in tongues and English. At one point, I noticed I was praying in tongues in a rhythmic, repeating pattern—almost like a cadence. It would shift at times, but the rhythm stayed. Then, suddenly, words of praise started coming out in English—in the same rhythm!

It felt like God was giving me the interpretation of my own prayers in tongues!

Very cool. 😊

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Later, I had lunch with DM, and our conversation took a deep turn. She’s been wrestling with what she’s being taught in church versus what she’s reading in the Bible. And guess what? She’s seeing the same things God has been revealing to us!

I encouraged her to keep digging into Scripture, confirmed what she was reading, and recommended Pagan Christianity. I also invited her to A and C’s on Saturday—praying she can make it!

Then, I told her about the job offers and tried to put into words why we’re choosing faith over certainty.

It reminds me of the Israelites wanting to go back to Egypt—where food, water, and shelter were guaranteed. But along with those “certainties” came bondage. God wanted them to trust Him completely.

But when things got tough, their first instinct was to run back to slavery instead of trusting their Deliverer. I feel like these job offers are the same kind of test.

Will I “go back to Egypt”—back to the security of a paycheck? Or will I trust God, who has already called us out to something greater? DM seemed to really resonate with that, and we had an amazing conversation. 😊

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That night, I met with my FWO girls and shared about the job offers. Their responses were opposite!

• One girl immediately felt it was a trap—a temptation from the enemy.
• The other thought it was God’s provision for us.

It’s so fascinating how different people perceive the same situation.

Later, at R and J’s house church, I shared again. J’s response? She felt God was saying,

“See? I can pull two job offers out of nowhere! If I can do that, you can trust Me to take care of you.”

Wow.

Then she prayed over us, and she said she felt God’s love and approval so strongly she almost fell out on the floor!

She was overwhelmed with His presence.

Thank you, Jesus, for your love and confirmation!

A THIRD Job Offer… Really, God?

Just now, I got off the phone with DM—and guess what?? She just told me about yet another job offer! Her friend runs a loan processing business and needs help.

• It perfectly fits my skill set
• It’s part-time
• Possibly remote (if not, the office is in Apex)
• Flexible hours

A third job offer in four days.

Lord, what are You doing??

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Standing Firm in Faith

Ok, let’s review again. 

• God asked me to quit my job so that I could work for Him full time. 
• He is showing me that I need to slow down and “rest” in Him. 
• He doesn’t need me to “do” anything for Him, just desire to be with Him. 
• He is healing my compulsive desire for acceptance and approval by “performing” and “doing” and showing me that all He needs me to do is to “HAVE FAITH” and be obedient to Him and His leading in my life.
• We are growing leaps and bounds in our spiritual walk and understanding of God and His Word. 
• We are being used all the time because we can go where and when He says “Go” and talk to who ever He puts in front of us. 
• And then we have J’s prayer about how “proud” God is of us and how overwhelming His love is for us (of course, we could be on the wrong path and God would still love us with overwhelming love…). 
• I feel like going back to work would be like “going back to Egypt” and the “bondage” that goes with it… why would I want to consider these job offers??

I am doing this because I started to waver a little bit. I asked Tom how much we had left in the bank and he said, after he pays the bills for this month, we will only have $84 dollars to last us the rest of the month… And with his sister and brother in law coming to stay for a few days, it will be really hard to feed and take care of them with only that much!! 

Gas prices are really eating up our cash quickly taking 45 dollars each time we fill up! BUT I can’t look at these circumstances because GOD IS BIGGER and if He can bring water from a rock and Manna from Heaven, He can take care of us!

We went to D and L’s worship time last night (our marriage group canceled). We had a great time of worship and celebration. The last time I saw L I told her we needed to tell her about a dream I had so she reminded me and I told her about the houses and the fire dream and the word in 1 Corinthians 3 and she was so touched!! Later in the evening she asked me to share the dream with the rest of the group because she felt it was for all of them. That was pretty cool.

Also, early in the evening when I was praying for the Holy Spirit to come and fill the place, I envisioned what it would be like, or what I would like it to be like, when the presence of the Lord filled the room. And in my mind, I saw the heaviness of His presence fall so hard that I fell to the floor in front of the couch and as I went to my knees I started to lay down flat but then it turned from that to going through an invisible “birth canal” with my arms back and I am twisting through the birth canal and, as I am being birthed, I hear myself crying/hollering like a baby does when they are born… it seemed to be the combination of the emotions of pain and freedom… It was the strangest vision but it was also very cool! 

That stuck with me for the rest of the night and I am praying for the Lord to reveal to me what that was about. Obviously, I am thinking that God is “birthing” something in me but I know that there is so much more!!

We were praying for L because she is feeling called to Canada and will be leaving next Friday and as we were lifting her up in prayer D felt like there might be a “team” going with her and that it might be some people in that room. I felt like I wanted to go but couldn’t say that I felt God “telling” me to go. The thing that stopped me in my tracks was knowing I didn’t have a passport! So, I will be looking into that ASAP now. I don’t want that to get in the way of “going” when God says “Go”. Just being there reminded me of the “international” dreams I had and the desire to “dance” for the Lord. I don’t know if those things are from the Lord or just my own thing but I want to be as open and flexible for Him as I can!

We went to A and C’s for the “Kingdom” study and we had a great time! I mentioned to C about the “birthing” vision I had at D and L’s and she said that in lesson #9 of the Kingdom guide it talks about the 7 stages of the Kingdom and it talks about the “birthing” process! How cool is that!?

Monday, April 14, 2008

The Cost of Obedience

Yesterday was a good day—yet also a hard one.

We went to Hope Church to support RV in worship. I expected a morning of praise and encouragement, but instead, I found myself in a conversation that shook me to my core.

I have known this woman for years. She has questioned our path before, gently voicing concerns. But this time was different.

She held nothing back.

"I’ve lost respect for you and Tom as leaders," she said bluntly.
"I would never support your ministries—financially or otherwise."

Her words stung.

She accused us of ignoring wise counsel, dismissing the advice of pastors and others who had tried to guide us. In her eyes, we were being stubborn, reckless, and untrustworthy. I tried to respond, to explain, but it didn’t matter. She had made up her mind.

I asked if we could pray together. She agreed, but when I felt compelled to drop to my knees, I pulled her down with me. I prayed,

“Lord, if I am on the wrong path, speak to me. And if I am not, speak to her.”

When we finished, she looked angry.

"I have never been treated like that before," she said. "You forced me to do something I wasn’t comfortable with!"

Then, without warning, she kissed me on the cheek, told me she loved me, and walked away. I stood there, stunned. It felt like a severing—like a bridge had just been burned between us. And I couldn’t shake it.

A heaviness settled over me, something almost spiritual, like I had been covered in something unclean. I prayed. Tom prayed over me.

Finally, the weight lifted. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was just the beginning of something difficult.

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After that intense morning, we went to K and S’s house church gathering.

The contrast was night and day. The fellowship, the laughter, the shared love for Jesus—it lifted my spirit again. 

Later, we spent time at E’s for family night, enjoying time together.

These moments reminded me: this is where I belong.

This is the work I was called to do.

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On Saturday, I got an email from an old co-worker. She had just been laid off from Cogenics—totally unexpected. And the first thing that came to mind? JD’s job offer. This was for her.

So, this morning, I connected them. And as I read her resume, something clicked. That job—the one I thought was tailor-made for me—was actually tailor-made for her. If I had taken it, I would have been miserable.

It was full of tasks that weren’t my strengths but were hers. God had already given me my job—I was already doing it! And today confirmed it: I spent the morning pouring into women’s lives, sharing Jesus, and being used by God.

What could be better than that?

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When I got home, there was an email from SS and DM about the house. They needed a 30-day notice and expected May’s rent unless we said otherwise. Tom still hasn’t heard God say, "Go."

So, we wait. And we trust. God is going to provide—He has to.

Our devotional this morning hit right where it needed to.

"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me . . . " Matthew 11:29

"Whom the Lord loves He chastens . . ." ( Hebrews 12:6 ). How petty our complaining is! Our Lord begins to bring us to the point where we can have fellowship with Him, only to hear us moan and groan, saying, "Oh Lord, just let me be like other people!" Jesus is asking us to get beside Him and take one end of the yoke, so that we can pull together. That’s why Jesus says to us, "My yoke is easy and My burden is light" ( Matthew 11:30). Are you closely identified with the Lord Jesus like that? If so, you will thank God when you feel the pressure of His hand upon you.

". . . to those who have no might He increases strength" (Isaiah 40:29). God comes and takes us out of our emotionalism, and then our complaining turns into a hymn of praise. The only way to know the strength of God is to take the yoke of Jesus upon us and to learn from Him.

". . . the joy of the Lord is your strength" ( Nehemiah 8:10). Where do the saints get their joy? If we did not know some Christians well, we might think from just observing them that they have no burdens at all to bear. But we must lift the veil from our eyes. The fact that the peace, light, and joy of God is in them is proof that a burden is there as well. The burden that God places on us squeezes the grapes in our lives and produces the wine, but most of us see only the wine and not the burden. No power on earth or in hell can conquer the Spirit of God living within the human spirit; it creates an inner invincibility.

If your life is producing only a whine, instead of the wine, then ruthlessly kick it out. It is definitely a crime for a Christian to be weak in God’s strength.

Joy doesn’t come from an easy path. It comes from knowing that God is working even in the pressure, even in the struggle.

I don’t want to whine through this process—I want to be strengthened by it.

Lord, help me not to “whine” but to take YOUR yoke upon me and give me YOUR strength because mine is so weak!! I know that all of this is producing what YOU need from us and transforming us into tools that are in service to you. Lord, I pray that you would speak clearly to Tom and when it is your perfect timing, we will know what to do. Thank you for your Peace that transcends all understanding and the ability to “wait” on You.

Tuesday, April 16, 2008

Trading in the Counterfeit

Last night was rough.

My throat felt thick and raw, and I kept waking myself up snoring—something I never do. It was like my own body was betraying me, forcing me into restless half-sleep all night.

By morning, I was exhausted. But life doesn’t pause for lack of sleep.

I had lunch with SW and DM, catching up on life, faith, and everything in between. It felt good to connect, even if my body was lagging behind my spirit.

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That evening, we went to P and L’s home group, where AB shared a dream he had about us the night before.

It was powerful. As he spoke, I scrambled to write down as much as I could.

God’s currency has always been love.
Satan introduced the currency of knowledge in the Garden—the knowledge of good and evil.
This knowledge is a counterfeit. A very good counterfeit.

And here’s where it got even deeper.

Organized religion has become one of the biggest proponents of the counterfeit currency.

People go to church thinking they are reaching God, but in reality, they are only accumulating counterfeit wealth—knowledge without intimacy, theology without relationship.

Just like counterfeit money, the more people accumulate, the more it devalues the real thing.

And then came the part that hit us personally.

In the dream, Tom and I were holding $84 in cash.

This was all that remained of our counterfeit currency.

When it was gone, God replaced it with the real thing—His love. And we were so overjoyed that we began pouring it into others, and as they received it, they too began letting go of the counterfeit.

They lost interest in knowledge and money, and God replaced it dollar for dollar with love.

I sat there, stunned. That was exactly where we were—down to $40 left in the bank. Was this God’s way of telling us that He was about to replace everything we had lost with something far greater?

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P, who had been listening intently, started asking questions.

“How serious is your situation?”

We told him. We had $40 left, and rent was coming up. But we knew—we knew—that God would provide. And we also knew that we were not supposed to ask anyone for help.

"Pray," we told him.
"If God leads you, then give what He lays on your heart. But we will not ask."

As we were leaving, P handed us an envelope.

“God told me to give this to you,” he said.

I opened it, and my heart leaped. It was enough.

Enough to feed Tom’s sister and brother-in-law while they were here.
Enough for gas money to get them back and forth to the airport.
Enough to remind us that God sees, God provides, and God is enough.

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Today, in our study of Lies Women Believe, we reviewed the ones that had impacted us the most. The one I needed to revisit was this:

Lie: God is not enough.
Truth: God is always enough.

And as if God Himself wanted to underline that truth in bold ink, I read this passage from Psalm 73:

Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
—Psalm 73:23-26

Yes, Lord. You are my portion forever. You are enough.

Even when we have nothing, we have everything in You.

Wednesday, April 17, 2008

Tearing Up the Itinerary

Last night was another battle. I crawled into bed at 1:00 a.m., exhausted but hopeful that sleep would come quickly. It didn’t.

At 3:00 a.m., my nose decided to wage war against me. I woke up gasping, sneezing, blowing, praying—anything to clear the congestion that felt like it was suffocating me. By 3:30 a.m., I gave up.

I tiptoed downstairs so Tom could at least get some rest, but sleep still wouldn’t come. The cycle continued—blow, breathe, pray, repeat—until I heard Tom stirring at 5:00 a.m.

“I couldn’t sleep knowing you were down here.”

I let him pull me back upstairs, but even then, sleep was elusive. It wasn’t until 6:30 a.m. that I finally drifted off. When I opened my eyes again, the clock read 11:30 a.m.

Tom had already called E to cancel our playdate with A, and though I felt terrible, I knew it was the right call. My voice was completely gone, and I didn’t want to risk passing this illness along.

Later, Tom installed E-Sword on my computer, and as I scrolled through the devotionals, one from Cowman caught my attention.

April 16 - By Faith Abraham Obeyed

“By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed.”
(Hebrews 11:8)

Whither he went, he knew not; it was enough for him to know that he went with God.
He leant not so much upon the promises as upon the Promiser.

That line hit me hard.

Tear into smallest pieces any itinerary for the journey which your imagination may have drawn up.
Nothing will fall out as you expect.

How true that is!! We have had to tear up many itineraries during this journey because God just does not do anything we imagine He will do!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Risky Obedience and Readiness

Last night, God cleared our calendar so we could go to P and L’s “Prayer Room”—and wow, am I glad He did!

It was very cool—not just because of the prayers, but because of the divine flow of the whole evening.

We prayed over two women, then over P and L, and then throughout the night, between conversations, we kept circling back to prayer. It was like breathing—natural, unforced, but completely necessary.

At one point, P felt God had a word for us:

“God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness.”

I laughed.

“That’s good because we are pretty damn weak!” 😆

We didn’t leave until midnight—again! But it felt like one of those holy moments where time didn’t matter because God was orchestrating something bigger.

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A Risky Obedience

This morning, CB sent out a devotional by Jon Walker, and it could not have been more appropriate.

"Risk your life and get more than you ever dreamed of..."
(Luke 19:26, MSG)

I read that and immediately thought, That’s exactly what we’re doing!

Faith is risky.

It requires stepping out on the water before you see how it’s possible to walk on it. It requires moving forward before you see the provision. It requires obedience before the confirmation comes.

The irony? The greatest risk isn’t stepping out in faith—it’s staying in the boat!

I loved the image Jon Walker described:

• A storm.

• Jesus walking on the water.

• The disciples cowering in the boat.

And the question:

Where is the safest place to be?

The obvious answer seems to be the boat—but the truth?

The safest place is always standing next to Jesus.

Wow. That hit deep.

It’s easy to believe the illusion that security is found in something familiar—money, plans, control—but the truth is, security is only found in Jesus.

So today, I’m reminding myself:

• If God is calling me out of the boat, the safest step is the one that requires faith.

• If I say I trust Him, then my actions need to reflect that trust.

• If my life doesn’t require faith, then I’m not actually living by faith.

Lord, help me step into risky obedience, knowing that You are my safety!

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Today's devotional in My Utmost for His Highest was on readiness.

“When the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And he said, ‘Here am I.’”
(Exodus 3:4)

When Moses turned toward the burning bush, he was ready.

How many times does God speak, but we’re too distracted to hear Him? Too busy telling Him our plans instead of being ready for His?

Oswald Chambers put it perfectly:

“Be ready for the sudden surprise visits of God. A ready person never needs to get ready—he is ready.”

Lord, let that be me.

Let me be ready when You call.
Let me be willing even when it’s inconvenient.
Let me be listening when You whisper.

Because Your plan is better than mine.

Even when it feels risky.

Even when it looks impossible.

Even when I’d rather stay in the boat.

I want to walk on the water.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Trusting God in the Push and Rest

Wow, it’s been a week since I last wrote, and so much has happened!

This morning, M and L left to return to California after their two-week vacation. They visited New York, DC, and then stayed with us for a couple of days. It was so good having them here, sharing what God has been doing in our lives. We talked, we fellowshipped, and they got to spend time with A, C, R, and E before we took them to K and S’s restored farmhouse (M loves that kind of thing).

But the most amazing part?

When we shared our story—how God led me to quit my job and trust Him—they were initially afraid for us. But by the time we finished sharing, their fear had turned to faith. They were amazed and inspired to trust in God more themselves.

Praise You, Jesus—this is all for Your glory!

Before they left, they filled up our gas tank and—so sweetly—left a $20 bill under Tom’s stapler. We didn’t see it until today, but we’re pretty sure they put it there. Lord, bless them for their kindness!

Father, I pray that what You spoke to them through us will take root and grow, drawing them even closer to You. Continue transforming their hearts, in Jesus’ name. Amen!

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So much has happened this week, it’s hard to keep up!

• Saturday morning—Breakfast with P and L. Such a great time, but not enough time!

• Saturday night—Dinner at M and E’s. E made the most amazing homemade pizza, and we got to pray over them before their mission trip to Haiti.

• Tom got a revelation for them—that God will work to the degree they trust Him. Funny thing is, I think Tom got more out of it than they did! 😆

• They gave us the first wedding invitation! We’re praying for provision so we can actually go.

On Sunday, we went to the Acts Bible Study, and as always, it was incredible. NL taught and showed us Old Testament scriptures that symbolized Jesus and His sacrifice. So powerful!

After the study, CA shared that she felt a “lull” with God and didn’t understand why. As she spoke, I felt in my spirit that the lull was a good thing—that it was a resting phase before the next push.

I described it like labor contractions—there’s a time of pushing, but then there’s a break before the next wave comes. And when that break comes, you’re grateful for it because you know another contraction is coming.

I encouraged her:

"Enjoy this rest because it won’t last!"

Then the very next day, CB sent me the Spirit of Prophecy for the day, and in the “Small Straws” section, it said:

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“Push and Rest”

April 21, 2008 – Marsha Burns

Beloved, I am with you in your labor, for I will empower you to bring forth.
You must, however, learn the cycle of push and rest, push and rest, push and rest.
You are entering into a time that will produce vitality and liberty in abundance.
You are leaving behind the dark night of the soul and bursting forth with a new and radiant hope, says the Lord.

"Because you would forget your misery, and remember it as waters that have passed away, and your life would be brighter than noonday. Though you were dark, you would be like the morning. And you would be secure, because there is hope; Yes, you would dig around you, and take your rest in safety." (Job 11:16-18)

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That was such a powerful confirmation of what I told CA! I immediately sent it to her.

God is so good.

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Yesterday, I got another job offer—this time from a former boss at ZyCare. He emailed me saying they were really busy and asked if I was interested in coming back. I thanked him but told him what God is doing in my life right now.

Unless God makes it abundantly clear that I’m supposed to take a job, I’m staying the course He has put me on.

I am trusting Him completely.

Then today, CB sent me another “Small Straws” word:

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“You Are on the Threshold of Breakthrough”

April 22, 2008 – Marsha Burns

Your progress has been significant, but you are not out of the woods yet.
You must continue to press on while maintaining hope and vision.
Be strong and resolute.
You do not want to give up when you are on the very threshold of breakthrough.
Exercise patience and perseverance.
Soon you will see that it has been worth the effort, says the Lord.

"For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise." (Hebrews 10:36)

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Thank you, Jesus, for this encouragement!! We are getting down to the wire on needing our rent money… I try not to think about it because when I do, I tend to worry or wonder how He will do it. I just want to TRUST my Lord and Savior for His promise to be our provider!