Friday, January 09, 2009

Faith, Favor, and the Father’s Love

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you. — Isaiah 54:10

This is my memory verse for this week. The Breaking Free study has been focusing on God’s love for us and how not believing in His love is actually a sin. I don’t think I’ve ever thought of it that way before, but I can see how God might consider it a sin—especially after all He has done for us! Now that I think about it, there are probably many things I don’t yet realize are sins in God’s eyes. Lord, thank you for revealing these things to me in Your perfect timing and way.

As I was reading the Word today and letting it soak into my spirit, I began to sense what it might feel like to have the kind of faith and trust in the Lord that He truly desires for us. I got this picture in my head of Tom and me surrounded by a glowing bubble or shield of light—our faith, trust, and belief forming that protective covering. As we walked forward, it cut through the darkness and shielded us from whatever the enemy tried to throw at us—the fiery darts! Then I remembered how many times Jesus said, “Just believe” and “Have faith.”

“Without faith it is impossible to please God…” — Hebrews 11:6

I’m beginning to see that it’s our faith, belief, and trust in Him that ignite the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives! Wow, Lord. Help me grasp this more and more, and to walk in faith, trust, and belief in You.

I had lunch with KM today and was sharing all the little things God has done for me throughout the week—and that’s when I realized that every single day this week, God has revealed Himself to me in small, special ways.

• Monday: I bought a $14.00 Pyrex set for $9.29 due to Target’s mislabeling.

• Tuesday: H’s parents blessed me with gifts and cash.

• Wednesday: I took A to the $1.50 theater and a little girl at the movie gave A a quarter to play a game and even gave her three toys from the gumball machine! Later that day, I found a perfect birthday gift for W at Bed, Bath & Beyond, and the cashier surprised me with a coupon discount.

• Thursday: After W’s birthday dinner at IHOP, an older gentleman (with a front plate that said “I love Jesus”) gave W and A each a stuffed toy out of his van!

• Friday (today): KM took me to Sam’s Club on her membership, and we split several packages of meat—saving us both money.

Wow, Lord, You are so awesome!

Another thing God is teaching me is to truly believe in His healing—for both Tom and me. This morning, a sharp pain shot through my thumb (my “trigger thumb” issue), and the thought came, “If it’s this bad now, how bad will it be when I’m in my fifties or sixties?” Then the Holy Spirit interrupted: “Are you going to let the enemy convince you of that?”

I realized I had just let my thoughts slide into agreement with fear. So I spoke out loud, declaring that God is my healer and rebuking that old way of thinking. The hardest part about healing is that even though I know He can and will, I don’t always know if, when, where, or how He will choose to do it. He may even decide that “His grace is sufficient for me.” Ultimately, I need to believe in a sovereign, loving, and perfect God and let Him take care of the rest. Again—it comes back to faith and trust.

Tonight at S and S’s, we talked about how God brings things into our lives for a season and then moves us into the next one. Sometimes we want to hang onto those things longer than we should, thinking that since God brought them, He must want us to keep them forever.

I shared with KM about the Spirit of Prophecy emails I used to receive. When we were still in our Fuquay house, going through a difficult time, God used those messages to strengthen and encourage us. But after that season passed, the emails no longer spoke to me the same way. Tom began to feel they were a bit like horoscopes—too general, and strange that someone could get a “prophecy” every day. I also sensed the Lord nudging me to look directly to Him for encouragement, so I unsubscribed.

As I was sharing that story with KM, the word “pacifier” came to mind. I pictured a child who needs a pacifier for comfort for a time, but as they grow, they no longer need it. That’s exactly what the Lord was showing me about those emails. They were a “pacifier” during that season—a tool to bring comfort, strength, and encouragement—but as I’ve grown in my walk with Him, He wants me to rely solely on His voice.

I believe there will be many such things in my life—tools or seasons that God uses for a time and then moves me beyond. Lord, help me to always move forward in growth, never getting stuck or too comfortable where I am.

Holy Spirit, I pray that YOU will be my teacher and counselor, and that I will not look to anything or anyone other than You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Layers of Healing – Naming What Was Lost

This has been a full and busy week so far. Yesterday Tom and I went to our storage unit and got a few boxes of things we can use while we’re here—mostly consumables like cleaning supplies, toilet paper, and paper towels. I also grabbed my spices box and a few kitchen items that will come in handy. :)

After that, we picked up W from school and spent the evening with him. He’s been struggling a bit since his dad has been gone. He wanted E to stay with him in his room last night until he fell asleep. Now that all the house guests are gone, I think he’s really missing his dad. I’m sure the others are feeling it too, but they each express it in their own way.

Lord, I pray that Your Holy Spirit will dwell in a powerful way in their home and that You will be their Comforter and security. Reveal Yourself to them in wonderful ways and draw them more and more into Your arms. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Saturday evening, I met with a couple of girlfriends and we talked for over four hours! What an awesome time of fellowship we had. The first two hours were spent talking about my journal and what they’re learning through it. They just started reading, so they were amazed by what God asked us to do and how we responded in faith. I was blown away by how God was revealing Himself to them through our testimony. The best part was that they were seeing God—not us! They were realizing that His ways are not our ways, and His logic is not our logic. It was so cool to see the Lord working in their hearts through our story.

Sunday was our first week here at TB’s, and it’s been good! A cool God story: TB and I bought some inexpensive knives, but I needed a sharpener to keep them useful. Tom and I looked everywhere but couldn’t find one in our price range. TB tried looking too but had no luck. Then, he received a box from friends at church and—guess what was inside? A knife sharpener! It even came with a knife and fork as a set. The Lord had it planned all along, keeping us from buying one so He could give it to us. He’s so cool like that. :)

One of the blessings of being here is getting to talk with TB every few days. On Monday night, we shared our testimonies with each other. During the conversation, TB brought up the topic of abortion and said something that opened the door for me to share my own story. I told him that when I was 17, before I knew the Lord, I had an abortion—and that my healing took many years. It was over a decade before I could even speak about it.

The Lord eventually brought me to a place of repentance, and I knew I was forgiven. Then, a few years later, He gave me a poem (or song) called His Song, which became a key part of my healing. I’ve tried to have it put to music a few times, but strange obstacles always got in the way. I know the enemy doesn’t want the song released, but my God is bigger and more powerful—and if it’s meant to be, it will happen in His perfect timing.

---

HIS SONG

by Linda Daniels (1996)

This is a story of a girl you may know,
who made some wrong choices
and didn’t know where to go.

She is lost and confused, and very much afraid,
because, in a moment of passion,
a new life was made.

She was young and had run away from home.
Though surrounded by friends,
she still felt very alone.

Her life and future were ever before her,
but for the life growing inside her,
its future was very unsure.

(Chorus)
If only someone had told her the truth,
If only someone had cared,
this story may have had a different ending,
and a life may have been spared.

She was told she wouldn’t feel any pain.
That it was simple and easy—
no big deal, your whole life to gain.

Just go to sleep, tomorrow is a new day.
But her life would never be the same.

You can’t run from what you did;
no lies, drugs, or alcohol can keep it hid.

Sometimes she wonders who he would be,
calculating the years gone by—
would he like baseball, music, or art?
She’ll never know, and that breaks her heart.

(Chorus)

But through the life, death, and love of Christ,
we have so much more to gain.

This story has a happy ending,
because Jesus has set her free.
He’s forgiven all her sins
and gave her eternity.

Now her child and she will finally meet,
and she’ll wonder no more,
about what he looks like,
or who he is, like she did before.

(Chorus – final)
So if you get a chance to tell the truth,
and show someone you care,
you might just change a story—
and a life you may spare.

---

The Lord always works in layers. Even this was another layer of healing.

On Tuesday, I met with KM to give her money for the meat we bought, and we had tea and a short chat. I mentioned our conversation with TB, and she told me about a healing retreat her daughter’s Byzantine church offers for women who’ve had abortions. Each woman names her child, and they hold a funeral service.

As soon as she said that, emotion welled up inside me and caught in my throat. I have never named my child or given him a proper service. Even now, tears roll down my cheeks as I release what that stirred up.

I realize now—it’s easier to go through something like abortion when you don’t associate it with a real person. Naming the child changes everything. It makes it real.

“Lord, forgive me. Help me walk through this next layer of healing with You.”

It has been 31 years since that day, and yet here I am—still discovering the depths of His mercy and the tenderness of His healing.

My first thought was of E and R naming their miscarried baby “Jamie” and saying a proper goodbye. How strange and sad that it has taken me this long to reach that place, most likely because of the shame and guilt I’ve carried.

Now, I’m praying and asking the Lord to help me choose a name for him. I know He will, in His perfect timing.

(Note from Linda: In 2019, I wrote a blog about my healing journey called “His Song,” and in 2025, I rewrote it and renamed it “No One Told Me.” You can read it here: No One Told Me.)

---

On a lighter note, I spent time with Marteen on Tuesday—helped her cook dinner, walked, and talked. When I mentioned that I thought G and F might enjoy my company more than needing my help, her eyes welled up and she said she needed that too. My heart went out to her, and I knew I needed to spend more time with her.

Later, she talked about hiring someone to help organize her back rooms, and I said, “You’re really going to pay someone for that?” She smiled, and then I realized—she meant me all along! So I’ve committed my Tuesdays to helping her cook, clean, and organize, just being there as a friend—no payment needed.

She also reminded me of her standing offer to let us stay with her if we ever needed to. I told her she was my “backup plan” if the Lord didn’t open another door. I don’t know why He hasn’t led us there yet, but maybe one day He will. :)

This week, I also received emails from three longtime friends I hadn’t spoken to in years. It was wonderful to catch up and see how grown their kids are. Time really does keep marching on…

In my Beth Moore study, we’ve been talking about the battlefield of the mind—not that I need help with that or anything (insert eye roll here). :) My scripture memory verse this week is:

“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.” – Isaiah 26:3

It’s short and sweet, but powerful. It has come to my mind many times this week when my thoughts try to wander. Thank You, Jesus, for Your Word that brings peace and comfort.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Joshua – A Name, A Healing, A Victor’s Surrender

Well, the Lord is faithful. I’ve been praying for Him to help me come up with a name for my child, and I believe He has given it to me. I wanted to include E in all of this, so last night I had the chance to talk with her and tell her what the Lord has been doing with me in this area. I told her I wanted her to be part of the naming process. The first thing she said was, “His name is Joshua.”

She said it so confidently—she didn’t even know why, but that was the name that came to her when she thought of him. I’m crying again.

And it just so happens that as I write this, I’m listening to “Blessed Be the Name of the Lord” by Matt Redman (TB is playing worship songs, and this one just came on). Joshua means “salvation” or “he saves,” and it’s also a form of Jesus’ name. “Blessed be His glorious name!”

When I was praying about what his name should be, my thoughts went back to the Old Testament—how women often named their children based on what they were feeling at the time of birth. I wanted to do the same. Although I’m not giving birth physically now, I feel as though I’m emotionally accepting and receiving him into our family. The name Joshua fits perfectly.

The Lord has saved us both and is now bringing us together through my healing. Every time I say his name, I start to cry—it’s sinking deeper into my heart, little by little. I even find myself seeing my family as bigger now—a family of five instead of four.

Today, I pictured meeting him in heaven and actually calling him by name as I embraced him. Then I realized that until now, I wouldn’t have had a name to greet him with. Oh my… how sad that would have been.

Now I need to figure out how to go about the memorial or funeral service. I would really like A and E to be included, since he was their brother. Lord, I know You will guide and direct me in this too. Thank You for all You have done for me.

---

I had lunch with DA on Friday and we talked about when we first moved in with TB, and the emotions that caught me off guard when we arrived and others were already there. As I shared, I realized that part of my discomfort was that I was on the receiving end of things.

It’s so much easier for me to be the giver of gifts than the receiver. I would have much preferred to help TB and offer him a place to stay in his circumstances—but here he was, offering us a place to stay. That was part of my struggle.

Lord, help me to learn to receive as graciously and willingly as I love to give.

---

In my Beth Moore study this week, something she said really struck me and helped me see things more clearly:

“God wants us to be victors.
We don’t become victors by conquering the enemy.
We become victors through surrender to Christ.
We don’t become victors by our independence from the enemy.
We become victors by our dependence on God.
Victorious lives flow from victorious thoughts.
Thinking victorious thoughts comes from setting our focus on a victorious God.”

How simple, yet so profound! I always seem to get caught up in the battle—trying to conquer the enemy—but he’s already been conquered! I need to keep surrendering to Christ and allow Him to continue His work in me and against the enemy.

The same is true for dependence on God. My focus so often gets just slightly off—putting energy into things that don’t really help me at all.

Thank You, Lord, for Your clarity and correction in my thinking, so that my energy is spent on things that bring growth and peace rather than weariness and striving.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

❄️ “Fresh for Everything” 

We have our first snow today! It is absolutely beautiful. I’m sitting here surrounded by windows, and wherever I look, I see the soft, steady snowfall. As I write, I can hear a gaggle of geese flying toward the small lake nearby, adding to the peaceful ambiance. To top it all off, I have some beautiful worship music playing.

Thank You, Lord, for all of Your wonderful, special, and precious gifts that You lavish on Your children.

Today is Inauguration Day for President Obama—an amazing moment in history. Lord, I know that Your plan is being played out and that all that’s happening in our country is part of Your great, perfect, and wonderful design.

Father, I pray for our new President and his family today and throughout his term. I ask for wisdom, discernment, and protection for everyone in his administration. Your will be done—for Your glory and honor. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Today’s Oswald is one we remember from last year, and it still speaks powerfully to the heart:

January 20 – “Are You Fresh for Everything?”

“In reply Jesus declared, ‘I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.’” — John 3:3

Sometimes we are fresh and eager to attend a prayer meeting, but do we feel that same freshness for such mundane tasks as polishing shoes?

Being born again by the Spirit is an unmistakable work of God, as mysterious as the wind, and as surprising as God Himself. We don't know where it begins --- it is hidden away in the depths of our soul. Being born again from above is an enduring, perpetual, and eternal beginning. It provides a freshness all the time in thinking, talking, and living --- a continual surprise of the life of God. Staleness is an indication that something in our lives is out of step with God. We say to ourselves, "I have to do this thing or it will never get done." That is the first sign of staleness. Do we feel fresh this very moment or are we stale, frantically searching our minds for something to do? Freshness is not the result of obedience; it comes from the Holy Spirit. Obedience keeps us "in the light as He is in the light . . ." (1Jo_1:7).

Jealously guard your relationship with God. Jesus prayed "that they may be one just as We are one" --- with nothing in between (Joh_17:22). Keep your whole life continually open to Jesus Christ. Don't pretend to be open with Him. Are you drawing your life from any source other than God Himself? If you are depending on something else as your source of freshness and strength, you will not realize when His power is gone.

Being born of the Spirit means much more than we usually think. It gives us new vision and keeps us absolutely fresh for everything through the never-ending supply of the life of God.

Father, I pray that I rid myself of anything that I’m relying on other than You and Your Holy Spirit.

Later, I called E and the kids to see what they thought of the snow, and then I called A to see what he was up to. He was enjoying a day off, and C was headed to D.C. to help with the flights coming in for the inauguration. While talking with A, I mentioned what the Lord was doing with me regarding Joshua and told him I wanted him to be part of the “service” whenever that happens. He seemed a little confused but also interested and sensitive to what I was feeling.

Lord, please guide and direct this whole thing. Help me not to “do it myself,” but to wait for You to put it all together in Your perfect timing.

Lately, I’ve felt more pressure in my eye. Whenever I do, I pray and thank the Lord for healing. Last night, my eye looked a little off in color, but I didn’t have my glasses on, so I couldn’t see well. This morning, Tom commented on how red it looked. Since my glaucoma is caused by a sinus fistula, the high blood flow is what’s causing the pressure to increase and the veins to become engorged. The bottom right side looks like a blood vessel may have burst. That can happen under normal circumstances, so I’m praying it will go away and not get worse.

It could be from all the crying I’ve been doing lately. :)
Lord, You are my healer and provider, so I trust in You for all things.

I’m looking forward to spending time with my hubby today and enjoying the beautiful snow. Lord, please keep everyone safe and warm. Amen.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Strength for the Climb 

The Lord continues to be so good and faithful!

The pressure in my eye kept getting worse, and the redness had everyone asking, “What is wrong with your eye!?” (It really did look bad!) When I told one of my friends what was going on, she was genuinely concerned for my vision and ended up writing me a check for the drops I needed to reduce the pressure. (I had a hard time accepting that gift too!)

The only problem was that my prescription had expired. When I called my doctor, they told me he couldn’t refill it until he saw me since it had been over a year. I explained my situation, and they agreed to see me for the amount my friend had given—and even offered to give me the drops for free!

So, I went in on Friday, got the exam, and left with the drops at no cost. My eye feels so much better now! My pressure had been up to 38—the highest it’s ever been before was 31—and it’s supposed to be under 20. Now, we just need to figure out a long-term solution for my treatment and medication.

They gave me a number to call to see if I qualify for a program that covers treatment for six months. I’ll call, but I’m not sure I’ll qualify… our situation is just so unusual. We’re completely capable of working, and our current season is voluntary—it’s our choice to be here. We don’t fit the typical “hardship” category, so I don’t want to take resources from someone who truly needs them. But I promised the doctor’s office I would at least call. 

Lord, I pray that You will work out this situation for Your glory.

The Lord continues to work on my healing regarding Joshua. I’ve been able to share about this with others, and He’s used it to minister to them as well. I’m still praying about what the “service” will look like—I have no clue yet, but I trust the Lord will show me in His perfect timing.

The Beth Moore chapter on having a Steadfast Mind was really good. Many of the things she talked about I already “knew,” but her visuals and practical steps helped solidify them. Knowing what to do isn’t my problem—it’s doing it that seems to be the challenge!

As I was reflecting, I realized that part of me actually likes to “camp out” on negative thoughts. For some reason, they bring a strange sense of comfort or security. That was an eye-opener! Now I’m more aware of it and can move off those thoughts faster than before.

I need to tear down the lies the enemy tries to “wallpaper” my mind with and replace them with the truth of God’s Word—praying to see things through His eyes and with His compassion.

The muscles of my mind feel weaker than they should be. I’ve spent a lifetime letting my thoughts wander wherever they wanted instead of taking them captive and making them obedient to Christ. I often relate my walk and struggles to exercise and eating right—it’s all about consistent training and discipline.

When I was thinking about how hard it is to control my thoughts, the Lord reminded me of when I first started running years ago. There was a hill on my route that I just couldn’t run up; I had to walk it for a long time. But the more I ran, the easier it became. One day, I realized I could run up that hill without even noticing it anymore!

I felt the Lord encouraging me through that memory—reminding me that, though it’s hard now, it will get easier with time and persistence.

“Thank You, Jesus, for Your strength when I am weak, and Your encouragement when I feel discouraged.”

Today, I met with a new girl, and it was awesome! The Lord is so faithful. Even though I’m not proud of my struggles, when I share them, others can relate—and that connection brings healing and hope. Thank You, Lord, for the body of believers, that we can lift each other up and pray for one another.

Father, I pray for all the marriages—those I know of and those I don’t—that are struggling right now. May the power of Your Holy Spirit intercede, restore, and repair these relationships. Help us set aside selfish desires and pride, and look to others more than ourselves.
Reveal who the real enemy is, and help us stand by our spouses, lifting them up instead of tearing them down. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Provision, Purpose, and Perspective

So far, 2009 has been a wonderful year of re-connecting with old friends! I finally decided to sign up for Facebook, and I’ve connected with so many people I haven’t talked to in years. It’s been so fun to see everyone’s updates, comments, and current life status.

The only problem is—it can really consume my time. I need to be mindful of how much time I spend “hanging out” in FB land. It’s a blessing in that it helps me stay connected, but it can also  become a curse if I let it take over.

Lord, please help me to use my time wisely and not make Facebook an idol I place before You.

Lately, I’ve been feeling called to do another fast this year. SK was talking about fasting last Friday night, Tom has been talking about it too, and the scripture D gave me last October—Isaiah 58:6—keeps resurfacing:

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?”

I do feel I should fast again, but not quite like last year. That fast was very difficult and painful for me because of my RLS and other physical challenges. This time, I’m considering a raw fruits and vegetables fast—a cleansing of both body and spirit. I want to give up the foods I love and crave (carbs, cheese, and sugar) while still getting the nourishment I need.

I’m thinking of starting on February 1st for 10 to 14 days, and then seeing if I should continue for the whole month—or even 40 days. I’ll let the Lord lead me in the timing, but I’m committed to at least 10 days.

On Sunday, we went to K and S’s house and brought M and little A with us. It was such a good time of fellowship. Tom talked with one of the men there almost the entire time, while I had a nice chat with his wife before we had to leave.

When the kids are with me, I don’t get as much time to interact, but it’s still special having them along every once in a while. Before we left, K handed me an envelope—and inside was a check for $100, designated specifically for the eye drops! Praise You, Lord, for Your provision and faithfulness! We put it in our savings account so it wouldn’t get used for anything else until I need to buy more drops.

Speaking of which, I called the place the doctor referred me to and spoke with a very kind woman. I made an appointment with her to fill out an application to see if I qualify for financial assistance. Oddly enough, I’m beginning to feel that maybe this process is less about getting help for myself and more about a divine appointment with her.

I still don’t want to take the program’s funds unless God makes it clear that I should—but I’ll leave that in His hands.

Since our niece was here in January, I’ve had Tom’s sister (her mom) on my heart and in my prayers. I decided to open up a dialogue so they can ask us questions and hopefully better understand what God is doing in our lives. Our niece said that after spending time with us and asking questions, she felt more at peace and encouraged her mom and stepdad to talk with us too.

They called us on Sunday and we talked with them for a while but I am not sure how far we got with them. I have a feeling this will take some time but I am willing to do whatever it takes to help them to see God in our lives, and in this situation, instead of thinking we are really off our rocker.

Lord, please guide and direct our conversations. Help us speak Your words and Your truth. Holy Spirit, open their eyes to see Your work in us and reveal Yourself to them.

One of the things I sent them was a blog Tom found called Once Dead, Now Alive (http://oncedeadbutnowalive.blogspot.com/). It highlights the “If this, then…” statements in Scripture—truths I’ve rarely heard taught in church but are so powerful.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” — Galatians 6:9

“Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings…” — Romans 8:17

“But Christ is faithful as a Son over God’s house. And we are His house, if we hold on to our courage and the hope of which we boast.” — Hebrews 3:6*

There are so many of these conditional promises written to believers—things that really make you go “hmm.”

In the last Beth Moore DVD I watched, she shared a beautiful analogy of what God is doing with His church today. She said it reminded her of an orchestra warming up before a performance—each instrument playing a different note, tuning up, not quite in harmony. But when the conductor taps the music stand, the chaos becomes beautiful music.

She said she felt the church is in that “warming up” stage—all playing different notes for now—but when Jesus taps the stand, the Holy Spirit will bring us into perfect harmony, playing the same music on the same page.

What a powerful picture! Even if the church looks out of tune or scattered right now, I know God is working out His perfect plan for His Bride.

On Monday morning, as I was getting ready for my day, I started thinking about some things we’ll need to buy soon. The thought crept in, “God’s not providing enough money.” (Thank you, enemy.) I even started to justify using the $100 for something else!

But then I quickly pushed that thought aside and reminded myself that God is a faithful provider. He always gives us what we need when we need it—and He’s proven it over and over again. I have everything I need for today, and that’s enough to be thankful for.

As I was making breakfast, Tom read the January 26 Oswald Chambers devotion to me:

“Look Again and Consecrate”
Matthew 6:30 — “If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?”

A simple statement of Jesus is always a puzzle to us because we will not be simple. How can we maintain the simplicity of Jesus so that we may understand Him? By receiving His Spirit, recognizing and relying on Him, and obeying Him as He brings us the truth of His Word, life will become amazingly simple. Jesus asks us to consider that "if God so clothes the grass of the field . . ." how "much more" will He clothe you, if you keep your relationship right with Him? Every time we lose ground in our fellowship with God, it is because we have disrespectfully thought that we knew better than Jesus Christ. We have allowed "the cares of this world" to enter in (Mat_13:22), while forgetting the "much more" of our heavenly Father.

"Look at the birds of the air . . ." (Mat_6:26). Their function is to obey the instincts God placed within them, and God watches over them. Jesus said that if you have the right relationship with Him and will obey His Spirit within you, then God will care for your "feathers" too.

"Consider the lilies of the field . . ." (Mat_6:28). They grow where they are planted. Many of us refuse to grow where God plants us. Therefore, we don't take root anywhere. Jesus said if we would obey the life of God within us, He would look after all other things. Did Jesus Christ lie to us? Are we experiencing the "much more" He promised? If we are not, it is because we are not obeying the life God has given us and have cluttered our minds with confusing thoughts and worries. How much time have we wasted asking God senseless questions while we should be absolutely free to concentrate on our service to Him? Consecration is the act of continually separating myself from everything except that which God has appointed me to do. It is not a one-time experience but an ongoing process. Am I continually separating myself and looking to God every day of my life?

Once again, the Lord was quick to remind me of His faithfulness and promises.

Thank You, Lord, for always being there, for reminding me how great You are, and for keeping my heart anchored in Your truth.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

“Go, Don’t Come”: Learning to Follow the Mission Model of Jesus

The Lord is continuing to grow and teach Tom and me in so many ways. We went to a seminar this weekend about missions and “gospel planting” instead of “church planting.” They shared some powerful points about how much of what we do in the church system can actually work against the heart of the gospel.

They began with Matthew 28:18–20:

“Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.’”

The focus was on the word “GO”—make disciples, not “COME” to church, and not simply make converts. They also introduced the idea of a “Discovery Bible Study,” where instead of teaching or instructing, you simply ask questions and point people to Scripture, allowing them to discover God’s truth for themselves. That really impacted me.

When people discover truth on their own, they own it—and allow the Lord to transform them. When we constantly instruct, people can become dependent on others instead of developing their own walk and relationship with the Lord.

The next passage they shared was John 6:43–45:

“Stop grumbling among yourselves,” Jesus answered. “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day. It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who listens to the Father and learns from him comes to me.”

This reminded us that we’re not responsible for bringing people to the Lord—only for being obedient to what God calls us to do. We share the gospel, but it’s the Holy Spirit who draws hearts and transforms lives.

Another passage they discussed was Deuteronomy 6:4–9, which convicted me deeply:

“Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength… Impress these commandments on your children… Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

This was a strong reminder of what God desires from us—a daily, lived-out love and devotion. Lord, help me grow in my love for You so that these things flow naturally in my life and service.

One especially convicting part of the seminar was the idea that we should mentor others only if they are also mentoring someone else. It’s such a powerful model—multiplying growth and empowering believers to depend on the Lord, not a leader. I want to encourage the women I work with to pour into others so that God’s work can multiply in and through them.

The Discovery Bible Study method also gave me a new approach to Scripture:

1. Read it aloud.

2. Write it out word for word.

3. Rewrite it in your own words.

4. Write “I will” statements based on what God shows you.

I’ve been doing this with Isaiah 58 while on my raw fruits and vegetables fast. It’s helped me focus more deeply on God’s Word. One verse that really stood out was Isaiah 58:8:

“Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.”

I’ve long believed the Lord healed my eye in 2002, though I haven’t seen the full manifestation yet. As I meditated on this verse, I felt Him whisper that obedience will bring that healing into view. How amazing is that?

Speaking of obedience—remember the $100 I was tempted to use for something other than the eye drops it was given for? I’ve realized that was a test. The temptation came back again and again, and at one point, I saw how new it was to have money in hand and not be able to spend it on what we “needed.”

I kept praying and resisting, reminding myself that God has always provided. Then on Monday night, while driving home from picking up a DVD from H, I had this realization: if the enemy is working so hard to tempt me, there must be a reason. That’s when I decided to stand firm, trust God completely, and stop entertaining the thought.

Moments later, H called to tell me she had slipped something into the DVD sleeve. When I checked—there was a $100 check inside! Wow! God’s timing is perfect. Only after I recognized the enemy and stood firm did the Lord reveal His plan.

And this morning, when I found our back tire flat again, I couldn’t help but smile. Even in small inconveniences, He reminds us that He’s faithful. We used our spare and are trusting Him once again for provision.

Thank You, Lord, that You are God—and there is no other. You are always faithful, always teaching, always providing.