Saturday, January 24, 2009

Strength for the Climb 

The Lord continues to be so good and faithful!

The pressure in my eye kept getting worse, and the redness had everyone asking, “What is wrong with your eye!?” (It really did look bad!) When I told one of my friends what was going on, she was genuinely concerned for my vision and ended up writing me a check for the drops I needed to reduce the pressure. (I had a hard time accepting that gift too!)

The only problem was that my prescription had expired. When I called my doctor, they told me he couldn’t refill it until he saw me since it had been over a year. I explained my situation, and they agreed to see me for the amount my friend had given—and even offered to give me the drops for free!

So, I went in on Friday, got the exam, and left with the drops at no cost. My eye feels so much better now! My pressure had been up to 38—the highest it’s ever been before was 31—and it’s supposed to be under 20. Now, we just need to figure out a long-term solution for my treatment and medication.

They gave me a number to call to see if I qualify for a program that covers treatment for six months. I’ll call, but I’m not sure I’ll qualify… our situation is just so unusual. We’re completely capable of working, and our current season is voluntary—it’s our choice to be here. We don’t fit the typical “hardship” category, so I don’t want to take resources from someone who truly needs them. But I promised the doctor’s office I would at least call. 

Lord, I pray that You will work out this situation for Your glory.

The Lord continues to work on my healing regarding Joshua. I’ve been able to share about this with others, and He’s used it to minister to them as well. I’m still praying about what the “service” will look like—I have no clue yet, but I trust the Lord will show me in His perfect timing.

The Beth Moore chapter on having a Steadfast Mind was really good. Many of the things she talked about I already “knew,” but her visuals and practical steps helped solidify them. Knowing what to do isn’t my problem—it’s doing it that seems to be the challenge!

As I was reflecting, I realized that part of me actually likes to “camp out” on negative thoughts. For some reason, they bring a strange sense of comfort or security. That was an eye-opener! Now I’m more aware of it and can move off those thoughts faster than before.

I need to tear down the lies the enemy tries to “wallpaper” my mind with and replace them with the truth of God’s Word—praying to see things through His eyes and with His compassion.

The muscles of my mind feel weaker than they should be. I’ve spent a lifetime letting my thoughts wander wherever they wanted instead of taking them captive and making them obedient to Christ. I often relate my walk and struggles to exercise and eating right—it’s all about consistent training and discipline.

When I was thinking about how hard it is to control my thoughts, the Lord reminded me of when I first started running years ago. There was a hill on my route that I just couldn’t run up; I had to walk it for a long time. But the more I ran, the easier it became. One day, I realized I could run up that hill without even noticing it anymore!

I felt the Lord encouraging me through that memory—reminding me that, though it’s hard now, it will get easier with time and persistence.

“Thank You, Jesus, for Your strength when I am weak, and Your encouragement when I feel discouraged.”

Today, I met with a new girl, and it was awesome! The Lord is so faithful. Even though I’m not proud of my struggles, when I share them, others can relate—and that connection brings healing and hope. Thank You, Lord, for the body of believers, that we can lift each other up and pray for one another.

Father, I pray for all the marriages—those I know of and those I don’t—that are struggling right now. May the power of Your Holy Spirit intercede, restore, and repair these relationships. Help us set aside selfish desires and pride, and look to others more than ourselves.
Reveal who the real enemy is, and help us stand by our spouses, lifting them up instead of tearing them down. In Jesus’ name, amen.