Joshua – A Name, A Healing, A Victor’s Surrender
Well, the Lord is faithful. I’ve been praying for Him to help me come up with a name for my child, and I believe He has given it to me. I wanted to include E in all of this, so last night I had the chance to talk with her and tell her what the Lord has been doing with me in this area. I told her I wanted her to be part of the naming process. The first thing she said was, “His name is Joshua.”
She said it so confidently—she didn’t even know why, but that was the name that came to her when she thought of him. I’m crying again.
And it just so happens that as I write this, I’m listening to “Blessed Be the Name of the Lord” by Matt Redman (TB is playing worship songs, and this one just came on). Joshua means “salvation” or “he saves,” and it’s also a form of Jesus’ name. “Blessed be His glorious name!”
When I was praying about what his name should be, my thoughts went back to the Old Testament—how women often named their children based on what they were feeling at the time of birth. I wanted to do the same. Although I’m not giving birth physically now, I feel as though I’m emotionally accepting and receiving him into our family. The name Joshua fits perfectly.
The Lord has saved us both and is now bringing us together through my healing. Every time I say his name, I start to cry—it’s sinking deeper into my heart, little by little. I even find myself seeing my family as bigger now—a family of five instead of four.
Today, I pictured meeting him in heaven and actually calling him by name as I embraced him. Then I realized that until now, I wouldn’t have had a name to greet him with. Oh my… how sad that would have been.
Now I need to figure out how to go about the memorial or funeral service. I would really like A and E to be included, since he was their brother. Lord, I know You will guide and direct me in this too. Thank You for all You have done for me.
I had lunch with DA on Friday and we talked about when we first moved in with TB, and the emotions that caught me off guard when we arrived and others were already there. As I shared, I realized that part of my discomfort was that I was on the receiving end of things.
It’s so much easier for me to be the giver of gifts than the receiver. I would have much preferred to help TB and offer him a place to stay in his circumstances—but here he was, offering us a place to stay. That was part of my struggle.
Lord, help me to learn to receive as graciously and willingly as I love to give.
In my Beth Moore study this week, something she said really struck me and helped me see things more clearly:
“God wants us to be victors.
We don’t become victors by conquering the enemy.
We become victors through surrender to Christ.
We don’t become victors by our independence from the enemy.
We become victors by our dependence on God.
Victorious lives flow from victorious thoughts.
Thinking victorious thoughts comes from setting our focus on a victorious God.”
How simple, yet so profound! I always seem to get caught up in the battle—trying to conquer the enemy—but he’s already been conquered! I need to keep surrendering to Christ and allow Him to continue His work in me and against the enemy.
The same is true for dependence on God. My focus so often gets just slightly off—putting energy into things that don’t really help me at all.
Thank You, Lord, for Your clarity and correction in my thinking, so that my energy is spent on things that bring growth and peace rather than weariness and striving.
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