Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Provision Beyond Our View

As it turns out, I really do believe we were meant to be at E’s on Monday night and Tuesday. First, we already needed to take our belongings to the storage unit on Tuesday, which happened to be near her house. It was also Oma–Papa and W day, so we were able to care for the kids in the morning and allow E to sleep in. Later, we took care of M while little A and W were at school, which gave E the time and space she needed to sort through a large batch of children’s clothes she had just gotten back from a friend—before we needed to pick the kids up from school.

Overall, it truly was a blessing for both of us that we were there.

While we were at the storage unit Tuesday morning, Marteen called again to check on us. She has been so concerned about where we would end up. Ever since we moved from Fuquay, she has been offering her home to us, but the Lord had always provided other places, so we hadn’t needed to stay there. This time, she offered—and this time, we were able to accept.

So now we are staying at Marteen’s house until D and L’s home becomes available. What made it even more special was that it was “Marteen’s day” anyway for me, so I got to spend the entire day with her. Thank You, Lord, for Your provision and Your perfect timing. 🙂

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Insert – Linda (2023 Reflection)

In January of 2010, we received an email from a friend that was especially meaningful. Here it is:

Hey dear friend,

So nice to see you, if only briefly today…

I also wanted to tell both you and Tom something the Lord put on my heart the day we met together. I had intended to share it with you the next time I saw you in person, but we haven’t had that opportunity.

When you shared the story about arriving at Labor Day with no place to stay, I was instantly reminded that the Lord had placed it on my heart to offer my home to the two of you while I visited a friend. I dismissed the idea because I was only going to be gone a few days and didn’t think it would really help. Based on your story, the day the Lord gave you other provision was the very day I returned. The Lord’s timing is perfect.

The Lord has forgiven me for dismissing His leading, but I need to ask you and Tom to do the same. It was especially important for Tom to know this, as he felt the Lord had not come through—when instead, it was I who didn’t follow through on what the Lord asked of me.

I know the Lord used you in E’s life during that time, and He always makes provision. But it was a poignant lesson for me that I don’t have to figure out how to do more than the Lord asks—just to listen and obey what He says to do.

Love to you both. I’m so glad you were there to share in my re-baptism, and I look forward to the next opportunity to be together.

Blessings,
BS

How incredible is that? This story wasn’t just for us—it was for so many others in our lives.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Unexpected Doors, Unmistakable Provision

I have been so busy that it’s been hard to keep up! Things changed a bit from the last report. On Wednesday, we received another home offer! Tom and I recently met a couple, and as we shared our testimony with them, it included our adventure of waiting for God to open a door for our next place to stay. They called us on Wednesday the 10th and said that they were heading out of town that Saturday and, if we still needed a place to stay, we could stay in their home after they left. They were visiting family in California and then heading to the Dominican Republic on a missions trip for a couple of months—so we are now staying in their home until November 9th!

God is so amazing in how He has provided for us. We may still end up at D and L’s at some point before the end of the year, but again, we know that however it works out, God’s provision will be there for us.

Another really cool thing about this couple is that they even offered us their beach house if we needed it! We initially declined, but then I thought it might be fun to go to the beach for my birthday next weekend—so we’re able to do that too. The amazing part of all of this is that we had just met this couple. We were almost complete strangers, and they opened their home to us. How often does that happen?!

E had her MRI done, and that came back clear as well. The good news is that nothing major is wrong; the challenging part is that they still can’t determine what’s causing her headaches. They gave her antibiotics on the off chance that it’s a sinus infection deep in her sinuses, so we’ll see how that goes.

Other than that, Tom and I are continuing our daily routine—meeting with people, doing our best to “Love and Respect” each other, and walking out what the Lord is asking of us each day.

Father, I thank You that we can trust in You and rely on You for all things. I thank You that while we cannot predict when, how, or what You will do next, we can know that You are faithful and trustworthy, and that You will provide all we need, exactly when we need it. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Storms, Surprises, and Surrender

God is so amazing in so many ways. He continues to blow my mind at every turn. As I write this, I am lounging in His current gift to us—a beautiful beach house—enjoying time with both Him and my husband. We arrived on Friday afternoon, and shortly after, a wonderful storm rolled in to join us. It stormed off and on through Sunday afternoon, but we were cozy and content, listening to the rain and resting together inside the condo.

Friday was full of surprises and emotions. I was thrilled to get on the road with Tom and spend time together at the beach. We love driving together; some of our best conversations happen on the road. Combined with the fact that I hadn’t been to the beach all year, seeing the ocean again and breathing in the salty air felt like a gift in itself. It was a beautiful beginning to our time away.

Later that afternoon, while Tom and I were reading and discussing a few articles online, his phone rang. Surprisingly, it was a pastor from church we hadn’t heard from in quite some time. He was calling to share an opportunity he thought we might be interested in. He was officiating a wedding at a bed and breakfast, and the owners were looking for a couple—not an individual—to serve as live-in caretakers. He asked if we would be interested. We said yes, and he gave us her number, suggesting we call the next morning.

When we did, she shared that the pastor had highly recommended us and asked when we could come by to walk through the house and discuss responsibilities and expectations. Since we were out of town, we scheduled a meeting for Thursday. How incredible is that? The more I think about it, the more excited I become.

When we first moved to North Carolina, Tom and I often talked about how much we would love to have a bed and breakfast of our own. We love hospitality—welcoming people, cooking for them, and caring for others. And now, God seems to have laid something so similar right in our laps. I am truly in awe.

Then, later that evening, the tone shifted. I received the sad news that a dear friend had lost her battle with leukemia and gone home to be with the Lord earlier that day. My heart ached deeply. I had hoped to see her again before she passed, yet I knew she was now in a far better place. Holding sorrow and hope at the same time is such a strange tension. I allowed myself to grieve, even when my emotions felt illogical. Unfortunately, we were unable to attend her memorial services.

On Saturday, E called to let me know that little A was running a fever and they weren’t sure they would be able to join us at the beach on Sunday for my birthday. I was disappointed but completely understood. Thankfully, little A improved, and they were able to come after all. We spent the day together at the aquarium, playing on the beach, and then enjoyed dinner at a family-friendly place on the water. My birthday turned out to be wonderful, even though I missed A and C, who couldn’t come on such short notice.

As I continued thinking about the bed and breakfast opportunity, my initial response was excitement—it seemed like such a perfect situation. A place to stay rent-free, responsibilities similar to caring for our own home, and the opportunity to welcome friends, family, and even groups. We could help support the business, especially as the owners had begun hosting more weddings and events. It all sounded ideal.

And yet, I noticed something surprising in my own heart. I hesitated—not because it wasn’t good, but because I wondered if we would no longer be as dependent on God for provision in this area. Isn’t that strange? I’ve grown to love watching Him open doors in ways I never could have imagined. When I shared this with E, she laughed and reminded me that God would continue to do those miracles—just in other areas. Oh, the wisdom of a child… even at twenty-seven.

I’m also aware of how easily I can get caught up in my ideas of how things should unfold, setting expectations God may never have intended. At this point, nothing is settled yet. I’ve already begun imagining outcomes that may never come to pass. We will know more on Thursday.

Lord, help me keep my eyes fixed on You alone. Teach me to trust You with every detail—without adding my own agenda, input, or suggestions. Your plan is good, perfect, and far better than anything I could design. Thank You for being such a faithful and trustworthy God. I wait for Your will with joy and expectation. Amen.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Entrusted with the Garden

We are now officially the innkeepers at B&B's Country Garden Inn. How incredible is that? We ended up meeting with the owner on Wednesday afternoon instead of Thursday due to scheduling conflicts, so we drove back into town a bit earlier than planned—which turned out to be just fine. She walked us through the house, shared the history of the inn, and explained how she likes to run things and care for her guests. Everything she shared resonated deeply with us. It all felt right.

One especially meaningful moment came when she asked where my ladies’ group meets. I told her we currently meet at a restaurant, and without hesitation she offered to let us meet at the inn instead. I hadn’t even asked—she brought it up herself. I then mentioned the Love and Respect group, and she was immediately supportive. Her perspective was that the more people who come through the inn, the more exposure and business it brings, so she views gatherings like these as a blessing and a form of marketing. The fact that she initiated this conversation felt like yet another clear confirmation that this opportunity is truly from God and exactly where we are meant to be. We are scheduled to move in on October 14th, once the current innkeeper relocates to Las Vegas after a job promotion. I am genuinely excited to see what God will do here.

Another very meaningful thing happened as well. While I was getting ready to leave the beach house, I received a phone call from a woman who had found my name on an old Womenade flyer. I haven’t been involved with Womenade in over two years and hadn’t received a call like this in a long time, so it immediately caught my attention. She shared that she had lost her job and was struggling. She needed gas for her car and diapers for her baby. I told her I would pass her information along to the woman currently overseeing Womenade.

Later that day, Tom and I were talking about finances and my birthday money—a check for $49. He asked if there was anything I wanted or needed. I mentioned I could use some jeans but could easily get a couple pairs at Goodwill. I assumed the money would just go into our account. But then another thought surfaced: What if I gave it away? What if this birthday gift was meant to bless someone else?

We’ve been reading so much lately about generosity—about people who give freely even when they don’t have much themselves. I realized that while I do enjoy giving, I still sometimes hold onto the mindset that what I receive is “mine,” driven by the fear that I might not have enough for myself. I want that to change. I want to live with the confidence that I already have everything I need, every day, because my Father knows and provides for my needs. And in that moment, I remembered the woman who had called earlier.

I knew instantly that God had sent her to me for this very reason. So I called her back and told her I would stop by later that day to help with gas and diapers. I also called CB to see if she had any food I could bring—and of course, she did. I was able to bring her food along with the other support.

Visiting her home was such a gift to me. It was the best birthday present I could have received. She has four daughters, ages ten down to two, and they are all incredibly sweet. What struck me most was their hunger to know more about Jesus. I told them that He sent me to them, that He is a dear friend of mine, and that He wants to be their friend too. They asked so many thoughtful questions, and I was more than happy to answer. The only Bible they had was a King James Version, so I showed them how to use Bible Gateway to read other translations. They were lonely, hungry for connection, and so grateful for the time together. They don't have many friends or visitors so just my visit in itself was a treat for them. I left deeply blessed and praying that the Lord would water the seeds that were planted.

It feels like we are stepping into a brand-new season. I am eager to see what the Lord will do—both through us and within us—at the inn and beyond.

Lord, I pray that You would go before us and lay the foundation for the ministry You desire in this place. May Your Holy Spirit dwell richly and powerfully within these walls. Let all who enter the inn leave changed because of You. Thank You for the privilege of serving You in this way. We surrender our plans and ask for Your will—not ours—to be done. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Living Inside the Blessing

We have officially been innkeepers for a week now, and everything has been going wonderfully. The place is absolutely beautiful, and we are still having a hard time wrapping our minds around this incredible blessing from the Lord. At times it almost feels too good to be true. There is still so much to learn, but thankfully we have plenty of time to grow into it.

We welcomed our first guests last Wednesday, and I made breakfast for them. They made it easy by requesting turkey bacon and cheese omelets, so I added some fruit and muffins and called it done. They seemed very pleased. I put on some soft classical music, sat and talked with them for a bit, and genuinely enjoyed the whole experience. It was a wonderful “first” in every way.

We hosted the last wedding of the season this past weekend, and at this point there are no reservations scheduled for the rest of the year. Apparently, this is the slow season for this bed and breakfast. For now, I’ve been cleaning, organizing, and preparing everything for the busy season. There is still plenty to do, but my hope is that by the end of the year everything will be ready—at least by my standards.

I’ve been getting up at 6:30 each morning to spend time with the Lord before the day begins, but I’m considering moving that to 6:00 because I still feel like I need more time. There were a couple of days when I woke up at 3:00 and 4:00 a.m. and had so much time with Him that I think I spoiled myself. Unfortunately, I can’t do that every day—unless God miraculously sustains me! 

Fall has arrived quickly. The air is crisp, the trees are changing colors, and there’s that unmistakable scent of autumn everywhere. I love this season. The inn has a lovely gas fireplace, and I’ve been lighting it in the mornings while sipping hot lemon water and studying with the Lord. It’s incredibly cozy, and I’m soaking it all in.

I was talking with G the other day about how amazing God is and how blessed we are to be here. She shared that she often talks about us with her friends and says that while she’s heard many people say they have faith, we are the only ones she’s seen truly walking it out. That felt like such a compliment, but it also made me uncomfortable. I know that none of this is about our faithfulness—it’s about God’s. So I told her that I don’t see this journey as a reflection of our faith so much as a testimony to God’s faithfulness toward us. My prayer is that others would learn to trust Him more by watching what He does in our lives.

And once again, God showed His faithfulness this week—this time through tires. One of our back tires had a slow leak, and we’d been filling it with air every other day. Then last Friday, Tom came home from a breakfast meeting and said he’d had to change a flat tire. I assumed the back tire had finally given out, but instead he said, “Nope—the front tire blew.” I could only shake my head and trust that God had a plan for provision.

Later that day, while I was washing bird baths and getting them ready for a wedding, I clearly heard the words, “Call SK.” That felt strange, since we’ve been very intentional about following God's instructions to trust HIM and not asking people for help. Still, SK has often told us to let him know if we ever need anything. I mentioned it to Tom and asked him to pray about it, then placed the situation in both his and God’s hands. Tom emailed him, simply sharing the need and asking him to pray. We trusted that if God said no, SK would say no—and that provision would come another way. Instead, he called us back and offered to cover the cost of the tires. Thank You, Jesus, for Your perfect and unexpected provision.

E and I planted her fall garden last Tuesday, and I’m excited to see how it grows. I’ve talked with the inn owner about starting a garden here as well and even staked out a spot, but I’ve decided to wait until spring. Working in E’s garden reminded me just how much effort it takes, so I’m praying for wisdom and balance as I consider adding more responsibilities.

I had dinner with friends last week, and one of them shared that she joined a grain co-op and now mills her own grain and bakes her own bread. I was instantly jealous. I started imagining how wonderful it would be to serve freshly milled, homemade bread to our guests. I have so many ideas swirling around—but I know I need to be careful not to run ahead of the Lord. Just because something is good doesn’t mean it’s best. Lord, help me wait for Your direction rather than assuming I already know what You want.

Tom is thrilled to have plenty of “fix-it” projects around the inn. He loves that kind of work and is enjoying the sense of productivity. He’s already completed several projects that have made the place even nicer, and it’s been a joy to watch him come alive in this way.

We’ve already had W and little A come visit, and they both love it—especially the “Mickey” room. They’re already talking about staying the night someday. Now we just need to get E and A here to see it too. I had hoped we could host Thanksgiving here, but they aren’t available this year. Still, we’re making plans for the holidays. A and C invited us to join C’s family again for Christmas Eve, and then we’ll spend Christmas Day with E’s family. It’s hard to believe the holidays are already so close—time really is flying by.

Father, thank You for all You have done, are doing, and will continue to do. Help us to carry Your kingdom perspective into everything we say and do here. May we be a blessing to the inn owners, the guests, and every person who walks through these doors. Let them feel Your presence and leave with Your peace, joy, and love. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Monday, November 9th, 2009

Trust, Kindness and Deeper Roots

After my last journal posting, I received an email from some Inn Keepers in Colorado who had read my blog and felt led to reach out and encourage us. It was so meaningful to connect with fellow Inn Keepers, share experiences, and know that we now had a resource for prayer and support in this unique calling. They even started a group on SimpleChurch.com called “Inn Keepers in Christ,” where others can join and share what God is doing in their lives as Inn Keepers. So far, we are the only ones in the group, but I pray others will join as they discover it. Being Inn Keepers is such a beautiful way to touch lives as people stay, eat, and share space with you during their travels.

We had our first full weekend guests last weekend—two women from Florida. One came to visit family, and the other came to support her friend through what turned out to be a very difficult family visit. We were able to pray with her and offer encouragement and support. It was our first taste of what the “normal” season will be like at the Inn, and wow… I was exhausted! Being present—praying, cooking, talking, resetting rooms, and simply being “on” all weekend—takes a lot out of you. I trust that, like anything new, it will become easier with time and experience.

Oh—and right after my last journal entry, I did end up moving my alarm from 6:30 to 6:00 a.m., and it has been so nice to have that extra time with the Lord.

On Friday, October 23rd, I picked up Marteen, G, and F and brought them to the Inn so they could see where we are now. I hosted a small luncheon for them, and the weather could not have been more perfect. After lunch, we walked around the grounds and then sat together on the gazebo swing, enjoying the sunshine, the breeze, and the beauty of the pond, trees, and fountain. It was one of those moments you wish you could capture and bottle forever. Being able to share this blessing with them meant so much to me.

Speaking of G and F, F celebrated her 81st birthday on November 4th. Since that day usually overlaps with my time with Marteen, we baked cookies together in the morning and then went to G and F’s house for lunch to celebrate. We brought some of the peanut butter cookies we made and fresh-cut flowers from Marteen’s garden. It was such a sweet and joyful time together.

Back at the Inn, I feel like I’ve completed most of the major projects on my list. I’ve gone through closets and cupboards, cleaning, sorting, and organizing everything so I know exactly what we have. One organizing project, however, didn’t go quite as planned. While sorting dishes in the kitchen, I didn’t realize one of the shelf support tabs was missing. When I lifted plates from one side, the weight shifted, and suddenly an avalanche of glass came cascading forward. I quickly set the plates down and slammed the cabinet door shut, but my heart was racing for a good twenty minutes afterward. After carefully cleaning everything up, I was amazed to find that only about ten small plates, saucers, and cups were broken. It could have been so much worse, and I truly believe there was some angelic assistance that day! Thankfully, the owner was incredibly gracious and not upset at all—though it certainly wasn’t the kind of “first impression” I would have preferred to make.

The owners have also offered to host a “Welcome” party for us, which we scheduled for November 21st. Invitations have gone out, and so far about sixty adults and children have confirmed. I’m praying for good weather so we can enjoy being outside as well.

My eye situation continues to be a lesson in trust. After being released from my eye doctor’s care, I was prescribed both morning and nighttime drops. The Lord provided for the nighttime drops, but the morning ones are very expensive. A friend discovered that an alternative drop was available at Target for only $4, but it requires a new prescription—which my former doctor refused to provide since I’m no longer under his care. So for now, I’m facing the higher cost again. Still, I’m not worried. The Lord is my Healer and my Provider, and I trust that this will be resolved in His perfect timing. Lord, help me to wait on You and not try to fix everything myself.

The Lord continues to take me deeper into learning what it truly means to trust Him—especially with finances. He keeps revealing my heart and showing me where fear and control still creep in. Recently, He asked me to give even when my own needs were not yet met. I had $40 set aside for gas and groceries when He prompted me to give $20 to someone in need. Then He asked me to give $10 toward Samaritan’s Purse shoeboxes, and later even the last $2 I had left. Shortly after, He blessed us with unexpected provision—first $23, then $40 over the next two days—replacing what I gave and adding even more. Each time, He proves Himself faithful, and each time I learn a little more to give freely, without fear, trusting that my Father in heaven knows exactly what I need and when I need it.

Another lesson came through our Thursday group as we read Authentic Relationships by Wayne Jacobsen. We talked about Jesus’ call to kindness and compassion, especially in situations where we’ve been hurt or wronged. That very night, I was given an opportunity to practice what we had just discussed. Tom wasn’t feeling well and, for no apparent reason, was unusually unkind to me. Normally, I would respond with anger, but instead I calmly removed myself, went to the “Mickey” room, and prayed—asking God to give me His compassion and love for Tom. I slept peacefully and was able to greet him the next morning with kindness and concern. He was apologetic, and the morning unfolded with peace instead of conflict. I know I cannot live this way on my own strength, but in that moment, God’s grace carried me.

Father, I pray that Your Holy Spirit will continue to give me the strength and courage to walk in kindness and compassion—not just occasionally, but as a way of life. I pray for the Body of Christ as well, that we would reflect Your love most clearly, especially toward those who hurt or wrong us. It is only by Your grace and power that we can live this way, for Your glory and Your honor. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Conclusion — 2025

Here we are, back in the here and now, at the end of 2025. I’ve decided to conclude this memoir with the final journal entry from November 9, 2009. It has taken quite some time to gather, revisit, and shape these entries, but I’ve truly enjoyed reading them again and again—remembering, reflecting, and reliving the countless ways God showed Himself faithful.

As I look back, I’m overwhelmed by the miracles God performed and by the people He placed in our lives—those who supported us, prayed for us, and walked with us through the ups, downs, struggles, and victories… even during moments when it likely looked as though we had completely lost our minds. There is so much more to the story, of course, but this particular chapter of the journey came to a close when God moved us into the Bed & Breakfast. And then—just like that—a new adventure began.

Tom and I are no longer at the Inn. In October 2024, we would have celebrated fifteen years there, but in June of that year the owners felt it was time to close the B&B. Our years at the Inn were deeply transformative. God brought tremendous healing to our hearts and our marriage, and He continued to reshape and deepen our relationship with Him. We were also incredibly privileged to coach, encourage, and walk alongside many others along the way.

In many ways, we experienced transformation twice—like caterpillars becoming butterflies. The first transformation happened during the fifteen months we lived nomadically, clinging to God as we learned to trust Him no matter what things looked like, even as it seemed we were losing everything. The second transformation unfolded during our nearly fifteen years at the B&B. I can say with complete honesty that I am not the same person I was when this journey began.

Regarding the house church, the Inn became a place of countless “God appointments.” Guests would ask how we ended up in North Carolina from California, or how we became Inn Keepers—completely unaware of how loaded those questions were. When hearts were open and the Holy Spirit led, God would open doors for ministry that were truly remarkable, sometimes even miraculous. Many guests became dear friends, and some we now consider family.

Early on, during one of those God appointments, I was sitting in the breakfast sunroom, watching God move in the lives of our guests. In my heart I said, “God, this is incredible. What a privilege it is to be used by You and to have front-row seats to watch You work.” And then I heard Him say, “This is your house church.” I remember thinking, Oh. My. Goodness.

From that point on, we truly believed that every person who walked through the doors of the Inn was brought there by God—whether we ever spoke about Him or not—to be loved, served, prayed for, and ministered to as He directed. Only God could orchestrate something like that. It also reminded me of a prophecy spoken over us on 07/07/07: “You won’t need to go get people; people will come to you.” That word has continued to unfold, even through the life-coaching ministry that followed. Only God.

As for the marriage retreat, that vision has not yet come to pass. At one point, we believed God might be opening a door to host it at the Inn, but it became clear that the timing was ours—not His. We fell flat, released it, and chose to trust that if it was truly meant to happen, God would bring it about in His way and in His time.

There are a few additional personal journal entries from late 2009, but in January 2010 I began a blog titled “Journey to Know God.” That blog continues our story from the B&B and eventually expands into reflections on what God showed me through His Word—insights that were both inspiring and life-changing. While working long hours in the Inn’s kitchen, I listened to the Bible on CD, and God began to reveal truth, gently helping me unlearn some things I had misunderstood and teaching me things that deeply transformed my faith. Those reflections are documented there, and I hope you’ll take time to explore them if you’re able.

As we close this chapter, our hope is not simply that you enjoyed the journey—but that you were encouraged by God’s faithfulness when we chose to trust Him, regardless of how things appeared. He is faithful. He is trustworthy. And He loves you far more than you can possibly imagine.