Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Provision, Purpose, and Flat Tires

Heavenly Father, Your faithfulness is matchless!

On Thursday morning, Tom took the tire to BY’s shop to see if they could patch it up for us—and they did! We were excited to have it fixed, but then Thursday night, as I was coming home from my group, it went flat again… DOH! When Tom put the spare on Wednesday morning, he showed me how to do it, and as I stood there watching him instruct me, I thought, there’s a reason I’m learning this!

Sure enough, I needed that knowledge Thursday night. Even though it was 25-degree weather, I felt confident that I could change the tire myself. Still, I knew the Lord would send help—and while I was still on the phone with Tom, Officer Cherry pulled up to check on me and helped me change it. God is so good! So, we were back to the spare and waiting on the Lord’s provision for a new tire since that one couldn’t be repaired.

On Friday, I met with a new woman referred by a girl I used to work with, and we had a great talk. When we were getting ready to leave, she handed me a bill and said it was for my “time.” I reminded her that I was free and she didn’t have to pay me, but she insisted. I didn’t actually look at it until I got to the car—and it’s a good thing I was sitting down because I might have fallen over… it was a $100 bill! I was shocked, then overflowing with praise for the Lord’s provision once again. We were able to order the new tire and had it taken care of on Monday.

Friday night brought another adventure—the air mattress we’d been sleeping on finally gave out. So, we didn’t get much sleep that night and went Saturday to get a new one. We couldn’t afford the same kind we’d had, but after trying to sleep on the floor, we were just grateful to be off the ground! It seems like we’re having trouble keeping things inflated these days. CB asked what in our lives might need to be deflated—hmmm, good question! Lord, please help us with that one. My first thought was “our egos,” but if that’s not it, please reveal what is.

Friday night, A and C flew to California to introduce C to the family. Adam’s note tonight said they were having a great time. I pray that all continues to go well and that she likes the family—and the family likes her!

Today, I met with Kristen from “Services for the Blind.” She went over the formal information and paperwork, asking about my work and daily activities. I tried to feel her out to see if there was another reason I was there, but as kind as she was, she politely avoided every opening to talk about the Lord. It reminded me of the seminar two weeks ago, when we learned to look for a “person of peace.” From what I learned, she wasn’t one—and that’s okay. As I was leaving, I felt the Lord say, You’re not asking for this; Raleigh Eye Center is asking for it. They’re the ones who pushed for me to go through this process. If the Lord wants to close that door, He will. If not, it will all work out. Either way, I know He’s in control.

As of today, I’m on day 10 of my raw fruit and veggie fast, and it’s been good. I’ve enjoyed the food and the physical results. I haven’t felt weak or tired, even with my full schedule—painting with H on Mondays, spending nearly a whole day with Marteen on Tuesdays, and everything else! I don’t think I could have done a water fast this time. I’ve decided to extend it to 40 days, adding nuts and beans after day 14 for protein. I feel lighter—physically and spiritually. No sluggishness, no guilt, no overindulgence.

I’ve realized I really need structure and clear boundaries to do what I know I should be doing… why is that, Lord?

During this fast, I’ve been studying fasting in the Bible. In the Old Testament, it often represented repentance—a cry to God after realizing how far the people had drifted. In the New Testament, it seems to be about seeking the Lord’s direction—before sending people out, during persecution, and when needing guidance. I want to keep my focus on the new covenant and what the Lord is saying now.

I’m not sure why He called me to this fast, but I know He has a purpose. Lord, please guide and direct me in what You would have me do. Open my eyes and my heart, and give me the strength to be obedient even when things don’t make sense.

Tom seems to be perking up lately. He made a new contact at the seminar, and one of the husbands of the women I met with reached out to him. It’s good to see him ministering again after a dry season. Thank You, Jesus. He’s still struggling a bit physically, so I’m praying for renewed strength for him too.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Encouragement, Connections, and Divine Timing

I had a wonderful time with CB last Wednesday! I’d wanted to help her with her Wednesday food delivery for a while, and God worked it out so I could join her. She picks up food from Food Lion that would otherwise be thrown away, then drives through poor neighborhoods and lets people take what they need from her trunk. I had such a great time meeting everyone she serves—I think I was more blessed than the people receiving the food! I plan to help her every other Wednesday as I can so I can bless her ministry and be blessed in the process.

Last Wednesday night, after I posted my journal entry, a thought crossed my mind: “I wonder if anyone is even reading this?” Then came another: “Why am I even doing this?” But I was tired and didn’t dwell on it. The next morning, I got an encouraging email from a fellow “Simple Church” sister that began with, “Linda, your blog is absolutely inspiring!...” Wow, Lord—you even care about those fleeting thoughts that cross my mind! She went on to share about her own walk with You and how faithful You’ve been to her. The timing was perfect. It was as if You were saying, “Yes, people are reading, and they’re encouraged and inspired—so keep writing.” Thank You, Lord, for Your quick and tender answers.

Then, Thursday morning, I got a call from another new woman who was referred to me! I love what You’re doing, Lord, and I pray for strength and energy to minister to each woman You bring my way. I’m meeting with her this week, and she’ll likely join our Thursday night group as we start a new study—Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I went through it last year and loved it, so I’m excited to do it again with the group.

On Saturday, I felt a bit discombobulated. I wanted to work out, but the weather report said rain, and I wasn’t sure how much exercise was wise during my fast. I went back and forth all morning and ended up not working out at all, which left me feeling “off.” Thankfully, I had plans to meet a couple of friends at Panera, and by the time we’d finished talking about the Lord and His awesomeness, my spirit was lifted.

That evening, Tom and I went to C and A’s house for a Valentine’s Day “dinner and worship night.” One of the couples there was the same pair that CA referred us to last year about our “couples retreat” vision—they run a ministry called Job’s Retreat! I never called them last year because we weren’t sure what God was doing with us or the house, but how amazing that He brought them to us now!

As we were all sharing about what God is doing in our lives, I could barely stay in my seat when I realized who they were. When it was our turn to share, I told them about the vision God gave us for a couples retreat. They were so excited! They said God had provided them with the opportunity to build a new house specifically for their retreat center, and they offered to let us use it once it’s finished. Wow, Lord—you really do weave everything together perfectly. Help us not to run ahead of You, but to wait on Your perfect timing.

February 16
The Inspiration of Spiritual Initiative
Ephesians 5:14: “for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."
Not all initiative, the willingness to take the first step, is inspired by God. Someone may say to you, "Get up and get going! Take your reluctance by the throat and throw it overboard --- just do what needs to be done!" That is what we mean by ordinary human initiative. But when the Spirit of God comes to us and says, in effect, "Get up and get going," suddenly we find that the initiative is inspired.

We all have many dreams and aspirations when we are young, but sooner or later we realize we have no power to accomplish them. We cannot do the things we long to do, so our tendency is to think of our dreams and aspirations as dead. But God comes and says to us, "Arise from the dead . . . ." When God sends His inspiration, it comes to us with such miraculous power that we are able to "arise from the dead" and do the impossible. The remarkable thing about spiritual initiative is that the life and power comes after we "get up and get going." God does not give us overcoming life --- He gives us life as we overcome. When the inspiration of God comes, and He says, "Arise from the dead . . . ," we have to get ourselves up; God will not lift us up. Our Lord said to the man with the withered hand, "Stretch out your hand" (Mat_12:13). As soon as the man did so, his hand was healed. But he had to take the initiative. If we will take the initiative to overcome, we will find that we have the inspiration of God, because He immediately gives us the power of life.

Today is E’s birthday, though we celebrated yesterday as a family. She wanted to take the kids bowling, so we had such a fun time watching them bowl for the first time in a real alley instead of on the Wii! I think she enjoyed the day, though it was bittersweet with Rob gone and A not there. I was glad Tom and I could be with her, though I wish I could’ve done even more. She loved her birthday calendar, though—thank You, Lord, for that small joy.

Lord, I pray You’ll be her companion and her strength during this difficult time while her husband is away and her brother is finding his way.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Provision, Correction, and the Sound of the Waves

The Lord is so great in how He blesses us in such cool and unexpected ways! I met with one of the new women last week in her clothing store during a slow period, and she felt led to bless me with a new pair of pants—some very cool cords! Once again, I was surprised and completely caught off guard, but I felt so special that the Lord would think of me and bless me in such a tangible way. Two of my four pairs of jeans have holes in the knees that I’ve patched, so I’m thrilled to have a nice pair of pants to wear now.

And the blessings just keep coming from unexpected sources. God’s Word is so true when He says:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” — Matthew 6:25–26

He has proven Himself faithful to us in this area again and again!

This week also brought a test of obedience. The Lord instructed me to “pull back” from one of the women I work with for a time—and not to accept any money or gifts from her. Well, the very next time I met with her, I mentioned how I’d been learning to eat raw foods and wanted to try sprouting grains. She immediately offered to buy the grains for me!

For a moment I hesitated, reasoning that it wasn’t “money,” so maybe it was okay. But deep down I knew it wasn’t. Before leaving, I took the list back and told her the Lord had instructed me not to accept her gift. I realized part of my struggle was selfishness—I wanted to try those recipes but didn’t have the money to buy the ingredients. I’m thankful I listened to the Lord and obeyed. I know His provision will come, in His perfect timing, and I just need to wait.

Then came another gentle correction. A friend loaned me her RAW UN-cook Book, and I became completely absorbed—devouring every recipe and idea! When KM emailed asking how my fast was going and what God was doing, I realized I hadn’t been focusing on that part of the fast for a while. I’d been so focused on the food that I’d forgotten the spiritual part. When we met the next morning, she told me she had just heard a message that said, “If you’re focused on the food, you’re doing it wrong.” Another big DOH! Thank You, Lord, for Your loving corrections and for refocusing my heart.

Yesterday’s eye appointment went well. The Services for the Blind program covered my visit—praise the Lord!—though no additional tests were approved yet. The tech said she would submit a request for a visual field test, and if it’s denied, they’ll do it using the $40 credit on my account. Such kindness! My eye pressure was in the low 20s (down from 38—thank You, Jesus!), and the doctor even gave me two more sets of sample drops, worth $360. God continues to show His faithfulness in every detail.

Tom, however, has been sick so much this month. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m praying for the Lord to touch his body and restore his strength in Jesus’ name.

We talked with KW this past Sunday, and he asked for some new “God stories.” At first, I couldn’t think of any offhand. Then Tom shared the tire story, and suddenly several others came to mind. It made me realize how much more obvious God’s miracles seemed when we were living week-to-week, depending on Him for everything. Now that things are more stable, His provision almost feels normal.

Lord, help me never to take You for granted. You are always working, always providing, always near.

It’s like when you first go to the beach—the sound of the waves, the smell of salt in the air, the sea breeze—all so fresh and wonderful. But after a while, you stop hearing the ocean, stop noticing the smell, and the breeze just becomes part of the background.

Father, I want to always hear Your waves, smell Your presence, and feel the breeze of Your Spirit. Keep my heart tender and my eyes open to Your goodness every day.