Provision, Pruning, and the Preparation of the Heart
God is enough. I don’t need anything more than what He provides each day, and I have all I need for today. Thank you, Lord, for Your provision!
Lately, the enemy has been trying to get me to think that we don’t have “enough.” It’s such a worldly mindset that causes us to worry about “tomorrow” — whether we have enough in savings, retirement, or even in the pantry. Satan instills fear and doubt about God’s goodness and His ability to care for His children. But I know the Lord wants us to come to that deep place of trust where we believe He will provide what we need when we need it — and if He doesn’t, then we really didn’t need it.
We are learning to rely on Him more and more each day, not on what we have “in reserve.” It has been a difficult but freeing transition.
The Lord did such a sweet thing for G last week. On Monday, she told me she was craving Shrimp Creole but couldn’t make it because F doesn’t like shrimp, and she always cooks meals they can both enjoy. Then on Wednesday night, CB called out of the blue and asked if we needed any food. Normally, I’d say no — I’ve always felt that her donations should go to people more “in need” — but this time I felt led to say yes.
She had just received a large food donation from a church and didn’t know what to do with it all, so she gave us a care package: green beans, beef tips, and — Shrimp Creole! It was such a “God thing.” I was able to surprise G with it the next day, and the look on her face was priceless. God heard her small desire and delighted to bless her through it. I was also able to share food with TB and his family, my Thursday group, and E and her neighbor. The Lord multiplied the blessing and fed many!
I also finished my 40-day raw food fast on the 12th, and physically, I feel great. Spiritually, though, I can’t say I’ve had any big revelations. If anything, I’ve felt somewhat stuck — even hardened or discouraged — and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s hormones, the dreary weather, or that I focused more on the food aspect of the fast than on the Lord Himself. Perhaps I’ve allowed “food” to become a kind of idol again. Lord, I am so sorry.
While thinking about all this, I remembered the show Ninja Warriors that Tom watched — the one with the obstacle course where each stage tested a different kind of strength. Many competitors flew through the first few stages only to fall into the mud before finishing. Spiritually, that’s how I feel right now. We made it through the hardest parts — losing the house and cars, moving multiple times, telling family what happened — but now, after things have settled, I feel muddy and weary.
I know in my head that the enemy is trying to discourage me and that my feelings don’t reflect the truth, but it’s hard to shake. Lord, please help me see beyond my feelings and trust in Your perfect plan.
I also sense a shift coming in our lives and ministry. E and R plan to move to Colorado after his deployment so their kids can be near family. That will be a hard goodbye since we spend so much time together, but we understand their decision.
Then, a few interesting things happened recently that make me wonder what the Lord is preparing us for. A friend reached out about a prayer house in England that needs hosts for a year. The founders plan to come to the U.S. to help start an International House of Prayer. It sounded intriguing, though I don’t think it’s for us — still, it stirred something in my heart.
A few days later, during a movie night with friends, another couple shared their vision for an orphanage in Guatemala. As they spoke, my heart was deeply moved. I could imagine myself helping there, mentoring kids and showing them God’s love. As they talked, though, I noticed my heart fading a little from our current ministry. It felt like God was gently preparing my heart for something new.
The first obstacle, of course, is that we still don’t have passports. I remember waking from that dream months ago with the word “International” impressed on my heart. I printed the application back then, believing God would provide in His timing — but we’re still waiting. Tom isn’t feeling the same pull I am, but he does sense that a shift is coming.
I’m not sure where any of this is heading, but I trust that God will make everything clear in His perfect time.
This week’s devotion really spoke to me:
Dear disciple of Jesus, however young or feeble, hear the voice. “You are the branch.” You must be nothing less. Let no false humility, no carnal fear of sacrifice, no unbelieving doubts as to what you feel able for, keep you back from saying: “I will be a branch, with all that may mean—a branch, very feeble, but yet as like the Vine as can be, for I am of the same nature, and receive of the same spirit. A branch, utterly helpless, and yet just as manifestly set apart before God and men, as wholly given up to the work of bearing fruit, as the Vine itself. A branch, nothing in myself, and yet resting and rejoicing in the faith that knows that He will provide for all. Yes, by His grace, I will be nothing less than a branch, and all He means it to be, that through me, He may bring forth His fruit.”
You are the branch.—You need be nothing more. You need not for one single moment of the day take upon you the responsibility of the Vine. You need not leave the place of entire dependence and unbounded confidence. You need, least of all, to be anxious as to how you are to understand the mystery, or fulfill its conditions, or work out its blessed aim. The Vine will give all and work all. The Father, the Husbandman, watches over your union with and growth in the Vine. You need be nothing more than a branch. Only a branch! Let that be your watchword; it will lead in the path of continual surrender to Christ’s working, of true obedience to His every command, of joyful expectancy of all His grace.
Also that day’s excerpt from Oswald:
"Though it tarries, wait for it . . ." (Hab_2:3). We cannot bring the vision to fulfillment through our own efforts, but must live under its inspiration until it fulfills itself. We try to be so practical that we forget the vision. At the very beginning we saw the vision but did not wait for it. We rushed off to do our practical work, and once the vision was fulfilled we could no longer even see it. Waiting for a vision that "tarries" is the true test of our faithfulness to God. It is at the risk of our own soul's welfare that we get caught up in practical busy-work, only to miss the fulfillment of the vision.
Watch for the storms of God. The only way God plants His saints is through the whirlwind of His storms. Will you be proven to be an empty pod with no seed inside? That will depend on whether or not you are actually living in the light of the vision you have seen. Let God send you out through His storm, and don't go until He does. If you select your own spot to be planted, you will prove yourself to be an unproductive, empty pod. However, if you allow God to plant you, you will "bear much fruit" (Joh_15:8).
It’s so hard to wait in the day-to-day waiting.
Lord, help me rest and wait on You — and Your perfect timing — to be planted and bear fruit. I don’t want to keep running ahead of You.
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