Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Provision, Purpose, and Flat Tires

Heavenly Father, Your faithfulness is matchless!

On Thursday morning, Tom took the tire to BY’s shop to see if they could patch it up for us—and they did! We were excited to have it fixed, but then Thursday night, as I was coming home from my group, it went flat again… DOH! When Tom put the spare on Wednesday morning, he showed me how to do it, and as I stood there watching him instruct me, I thought, there’s a reason I’m learning this!

Sure enough, I needed that knowledge Thursday night. Even though it was 25-degree weather, I felt confident that I could change the tire myself. Still, I knew the Lord would send help—and while I was still on the phone with Tom, Officer Cherry pulled up to check on me and helped me change it. God is so good! So, we were back to the spare and waiting on the Lord’s provision for a new tire since that one couldn’t be repaired.

On Friday, I met with a new woman referred by a girl I used to work with, and we had a great talk. When we were getting ready to leave, she handed me a bill and said it was for my “time.” I reminded her that I was free and she didn’t have to pay me, but she insisted. I didn’t actually look at it until I got to the car—and it’s a good thing I was sitting down because I might have fallen over… it was a $100 bill! I was shocked, then overflowing with praise for the Lord’s provision once again. We were able to order the new tire and had it taken care of on Monday.

Friday night brought another adventure—the air mattress we’d been sleeping on finally gave out. So, we didn’t get much sleep that night and went Saturday to get a new one. We couldn’t afford the same kind we’d had, but after trying to sleep on the floor, we were just grateful to be off the ground! It seems like we’re having trouble keeping things inflated these days. CB asked what in our lives might need to be deflated—hmmm, good question! Lord, please help us with that one. My first thought was “our egos,” but if that’s not it, please reveal what is.

Friday night, A and C flew to California to introduce C to the family. Adam’s note tonight said they were having a great time. I pray that all continues to go well and that she likes the family—and the family likes her!

Today, I met with Kristen from “Services for the Blind.” She went over the formal information and paperwork, asking about my work and daily activities. I tried to feel her out to see if there was another reason I was there, but as kind as she was, she politely avoided every opening to talk about the Lord. It reminded me of the seminar two weeks ago, when we learned to look for a “person of peace.” From what I learned, she wasn’t one—and that’s okay. As I was leaving, I felt the Lord say, You’re not asking for this; Raleigh Eye Center is asking for it. They’re the ones who pushed for me to go through this process. If the Lord wants to close that door, He will. If not, it will all work out. Either way, I know He’s in control.

As of today, I’m on day 10 of my raw fruit and veggie fast, and it’s been good. I’ve enjoyed the food and the physical results. I haven’t felt weak or tired, even with my full schedule—painting with H on Mondays, spending nearly a whole day with Marteen on Tuesdays, and everything else! I don’t think I could have done a water fast this time. I’ve decided to extend it to 40 days, adding nuts and beans after day 14 for protein. I feel lighter—physically and spiritually. No sluggishness, no guilt, no overindulgence.

I’ve realized I really need structure and clear boundaries to do what I know I should be doing… why is that, Lord?

During this fast, I’ve been studying fasting in the Bible. In the Old Testament, it often represented repentance—a cry to God after realizing how far the people had drifted. In the New Testament, it seems to be about seeking the Lord’s direction—before sending people out, during persecution, and when needing guidance. I want to keep my focus on the new covenant and what the Lord is saying now.

I’m not sure why He called me to this fast, but I know He has a purpose. Lord, please guide and direct me in what You would have me do. Open my eyes and my heart, and give me the strength to be obedient even when things don’t make sense.

Tom seems to be perking up lately. He made a new contact at the seminar, and one of the husbands of the women I met with reached out to him. It’s good to see him ministering again after a dry season. Thank You, Jesus. He’s still struggling a bit physically, so I’m praying for renewed strength for him too.