Thursday, November 13, 2008

Cool Connections and Deeper Questions

Things are still going well! I continue to do what I am supposed to do—thank You, Lord, for Your strength and faithfulness—and as a result Tom and I are doing very well. Here is another one of my favorite Power of a Praying Wife prayers:

Lord, I lay all my expectations at Your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only You, Lord, are perfect, and I look to You to perfect us. May we be “perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.” (1 Corinthians 1:10)

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

Since I tend to be a “fixer,” this prayer is always a good reminder of who the real changer and fixer is—and that I should look to my Lord and Savior to fulfill me instead of my husband. Easier said than done! Thank You, Lord, for Your strength, guidance, and direction.

God has been doing some “cool connections” lately. Last Friday, Tom and I went to a Mexican restaurant before the Truth Project meeting, and just after we sat down, some friends walked in! We were able to visit and share a meal with them—a wonderful surprise blessing. Then tonight, since my group wasn’t meeting, Tom and I decided to step out for a little while to give M and L some time together. We ended up at a coffee shop we had never been to before, and one of A’s old school friends was working there! He was able to chat with us between customers. Another sweet connection the Lord arranged.

Speaking of M and L, we’ve been having some great conversations with M lately. On Tuesday night, after finishing a late conference call, he sat down with us for a while. Tom and I were reading a thought-provoking piece called Do You Know What Really Annoys Me About God? by Dr. Barry Chant, and we read some of it aloud to him. That opened up a meaningful discussion. M asked questions about what we were doing and why, and even shared some of his own thoughts. He said we wouldn’t believe how many people have been asking him about us! Apparently, our mutual friends are curious about where we’ve been staying and what we’re doing. He admitted that people seem more nervous about bringing it up than he feels about answering. It turned into such a good exchange, and we were able to lay hands on him and pray since he’s been experiencing some unusual physical issues.

Then tonight, while making dinner, we had another honest conversation—this one about parenting, the mistakes we made with our kids, and the importance of asking their forgiveness. Again, it was real and life-giving. Thank You, Jesus, for opening these doors.

Another area God has been stretching us in is how we think about salvation. We’ve been questioning some of the religious filters we grew up with. Tom has been digging deeply into the Scriptures, especially around the question: “Teacher, what must I do to be saved?” For years, we were taught that saying the “sinner’s prayer” was the key to salvation. But when you actually read the New Testament, no one prays that prayer!

I used to believe “once saved, always saved,” but not anymore. As I read passages written to believers about being “cut off and thrown into the fire” (John 15), or excluded from the wedding banquet, I realized: this is serious. Romans 10:9–10, the verse often used for the sinner’s prayer, was also written to believers—something I had never considered before.

I still don’t claim to fully understand, but the Lord keeps bringing me back to this: it’s all about the heart. I prayed the sinner’s prayer years ago, and God has been transforming me ever since. But I’ve also seen people pray that same prayer and later fall away—just like the parable of the sower describes. Only God knows the heart. He’ll use whatever He can, even TV evangelists, to draw people to Himself. But we must keep “straining ahead” and continue believing in Him. It’s a lifelong action—we don’t “arrive” until heaven.

Here’s an excerpt from another document Tom found—Eternal Security? by Tim Warner—that really resonated with me:

Now, some might assume this means one can never depart from God. But this is not true. Many passages indicate true Christians can be lost. How? Through UNBELIEF. One must believe the gospel in order to be saved, and one must continue to believe the gospel to continue “in Christ.” It is as simple as that. Works don't play any part in initial “believing,” nor do they play a part in your continued “believing.” It is initially by faith, and it continues to be by faith throughout the Christian life.

I thought that was really good!

Overall, our days continue to be full—meeting with people, attending gatherings, and seeking to pursue the Lord in our personal walk, staying obedient to what He asks each day. What a great life this is. And as always, He proves faithful, providing for us day by day.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Layers of Healing – Naming What Was Lost

This has been a full and busy week so far. Yesterday Tom and I went to our storage unit and got a few boxes of things we can use while we’re here—mostly consumables like cleaning supplies, toilet paper, and paper towels. I also grabbed my spices box and a few kitchen items that will come in handy. :)

After that, we picked up W from school and spent the evening with him. He’s been struggling a bit since his dad has been gone. He wanted E to stay with him in his room last night until he fell asleep. Now that all the house guests are gone, I think he’s really missing his dad. I’m sure the others are feeling it too, but they each express it in their own way.

Lord, I pray that Your Holy Spirit will dwell in a powerful way in their home and that You will be their Comforter and security. Reveal Yourself to them in wonderful ways and draw them more and more into Your arms. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Saturday evening, I met with a couple of girlfriends and we talked for over four hours! What an awesome time of fellowship we had. The first two hours were spent talking about my journal and what they’re learning through it. They just started reading, so they were amazed by what God asked us to do and how we responded in faith. I was blown away by how God was revealing Himself to them through our testimony. The best part was that they were seeing God—not us! They were realizing that His ways are not our ways, and His logic is not our logic. It was so cool to see the Lord working in their hearts through our story.

Sunday was our first week here at TB’s, and it’s been good! A cool God story: TB and I bought some inexpensive knives, but I needed a sharpener to keep them useful. Tom and I looked everywhere but couldn’t find one in our price range. TB tried looking too but had no luck. Then, he received a box from friends at church and—guess what was inside? A knife sharpener! It even came with a knife and fork as a set. The Lord had it planned all along, keeping us from buying one so He could give it to us. He’s so cool like that. :)

One of the blessings of being here is getting to talk with TB every few days. On Monday night, we shared our testimonies with each other. During the conversation, TB brought up the topic of abortion and said something that opened the door for me to share my own story. I told him that when I was 17, before I knew the Lord, I had an abortion—and that my healing took many years. It was over a decade before I could even speak about it.

The Lord eventually brought me to a place of repentance, and I knew I was forgiven. Then, a few years later, He gave me a poem (or song) called His Song, which became a key part of my healing. I’ve tried to have it put to music a few times, but strange obstacles always got in the way. I know the enemy doesn’t want the song released, but my God is bigger and more powerful—and if it’s meant to be, it will happen in His perfect timing.

---

HIS SONG

by Linda Daniels (1996)

This is a story of a girl you may know,
who made some wrong choices
and didn’t know where to go.

She is lost and confused, and very much afraid,
because, in a moment of passion,
a new life was made.

She was young and had run away from home.
Though surrounded by friends,
she still felt very alone.

Her life and future were ever before her,
but for the life growing inside her,
its future was very unsure.

(Chorus)
If only someone had told her the truth,
If only someone had cared,
this story may have had a different ending,
and a life may have been spared.

She was told she wouldn’t feel any pain.
That it was simple and easy—
no big deal, your whole life to gain.

Just go to sleep, tomorrow is a new day.
But her life would never be the same.

You can’t run from what you did;
no lies, drugs, or alcohol can keep it hid.

Sometimes she wonders who he would be,
calculating the years gone by—
would he like baseball, music, or art?
She’ll never know, and that breaks her heart.

(Chorus)

But through the life, death, and love of Christ,
we have so much more to gain.

This story has a happy ending,
because Jesus has set her free.
He’s forgiven all her sins
and gave her eternity.

Now her child and she will finally meet,
and she’ll wonder no more,
about what he looks like,
or who he is, like she did before.

(Chorus – final)
So if you get a chance to tell the truth,
and show someone you care,
you might just change a story—
and a life you may spare.

---

The Lord always works in layers. Even this was another layer of healing.

On Tuesday, I met with KM to give her money for the meat we bought, and we had tea and a short chat. I mentioned our conversation with TB, and she told me about a healing retreat her daughter’s Byzantine church offers for women who’ve had abortions. Each woman names her child, and they hold a funeral service.

As soon as she said that, emotion welled up inside me and caught in my throat. I have never named my child or given him a proper service. Even now, tears roll down my cheeks as I release what that stirred up.

I realize now—it’s easier to go through something like abortion when you don’t associate it with a real person. Naming the child changes everything. It makes it real.

“Lord, forgive me. Help me walk through this next layer of healing with You.”

It has been 31 years since that day, and yet here I am—still discovering the depths of His mercy and the tenderness of His healing.

My first thought was of E and R naming their miscarried baby “Jamie” and saying a proper goodbye. How strange and sad that it has taken me this long to reach that place, most likely because of the shame and guilt I’ve carried.

Now, I’m praying and asking the Lord to help me choose a name for him. I know He will, in His perfect timing.

(Note from Linda: In 2019, I wrote a blog about my healing journey called “His Song,” and in 2025, I rewrote it and renamed it “No One Told Me.” You can read it here: No One Told Me.)

---

On a lighter note, I spent time with Marteen on Tuesday—helped her cook dinner, walked, and talked. When I mentioned that I thought G and F might enjoy my company more than needing my help, her eyes welled up and she said she needed that too. My heart went out to her, and I knew I needed to spend more time with her.

Later, she talked about hiring someone to help organize her back rooms, and I said, “You’re really going to pay someone for that?” She smiled, and then I realized—she meant me all along! So I’ve committed my Tuesdays to helping her cook, clean, and organize, just being there as a friend—no payment needed.

She also reminded me of her standing offer to let us stay with her if we ever needed to. I told her she was my “backup plan” if the Lord didn’t open another door. I don’t know why He hasn’t led us there yet, but maybe one day He will. :)

This week, I also received emails from three longtime friends I hadn’t spoken to in years. It was wonderful to catch up and see how grown their kids are. Time really does keep marching on…

In my Beth Moore study, we’ve been talking about the battlefield of the mind—not that I need help with that or anything (insert eye roll here). :) My scripture memory verse this week is:

“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.” – Isaiah 26:3

It’s short and sweet, but powerful. It has come to my mind many times this week when my thoughts try to wander. Thank You, Jesus, for Your Word that brings peace and comfort.