Saturday, April 12, 2008

Standing Firm in Faith

Ok, let’s review again. 

• God asked me to quit my job so that I could work for Him full time. 
• He is showing me that I need to slow down and “rest” in Him. 
• He doesn’t need me to “do” anything for Him, just desire to be with Him. 
• He is healing my compulsive desire for acceptance and approval by “performing” and “doing” and showing me that all He needs me to do is to “HAVE FAITH” and be obedient to Him and His leading in my life.
• We are growing leaps and bounds in our spiritual walk and understanding of God and His Word. 
• We are being used all the time because we can go where and when He says “Go” and talk to who ever He puts in front of us. 
• And then we have J’s prayer about how “proud” God is of us and how overwhelming His love is for us (of course, we could be on the wrong path and God would still love us with overwhelming love…). 
• I feel like going back to work would be like “going back to Egypt” and the “bondage” that goes with it… why would I want to consider these job offers??

I am doing this because I started to waver a little bit. I asked Tom how much we had left in the bank and he said, after he pays the bills for this month, we will only have $84 dollars to last us the rest of the month… And with his sister and brother in law coming to stay for a few days, it will be really hard to feed and take care of them with only that much!! 

Gas prices are really eating up our cash quickly taking 45 dollars each time we fill up! BUT I can’t look at these circumstances because GOD IS BIGGER and if He can bring water from a rock and Manna from Heaven, He can take care of us!

We went to D and L’s worship time last night (our marriage group canceled). We had a great time of worship and celebration. The last time I saw L I told her we needed to tell her about a dream I had so she reminded me and I told her about the houses and the fire dream and the word in 1 Corinthians 3 and she was so touched!! Later in the evening she asked me to share the dream with the rest of the group because she felt it was for all of them. That was pretty cool.

Also, early in the evening when I was praying for the Holy Spirit to come and fill the place, I envisioned what it would be like, or what I would like it to be like, when the presence of the Lord filled the room. And in my mind, I saw the heaviness of His presence fall so hard that I fell to the floor in front of the couch and as I went to my knees I started to lay down flat but then it turned from that to going through an invisible “birth canal” with my arms back and I am twisting through the birth canal and, as I am being birthed, I hear myself crying/hollering like a baby does when they are born… it seemed to be the combination of the emotions of pain and freedom… It was the strangest vision but it was also very cool! 

That stuck with me for the rest of the night and I am praying for the Lord to reveal to me what that was about. Obviously, I am thinking that God is “birthing” something in me but I know that there is so much more!!

We were praying for L because she is feeling called to Canada and will be leaving next Friday and as we were lifting her up in prayer D felt like there might be a “team” going with her and that it might be some people in that room. I felt like I wanted to go but couldn’t say that I felt God “telling” me to go. The thing that stopped me in my tracks was knowing I didn’t have a passport! So, I will be looking into that ASAP now. I don’t want that to get in the way of “going” when God says “Go”. Just being there reminded me of the “international” dreams I had and the desire to “dance” for the Lord. I don’t know if those things are from the Lord or just my own thing but I want to be as open and flexible for Him as I can!

We went to A and C’s for the “Kingdom” study and we had a great time! I mentioned to C about the “birthing” vision I had at D and L’s and she said that in lesson #9 of the Kingdom guide it talks about the 7 stages of the Kingdom and it talks about the “birthing” process! How cool is that!?