Well, today is the 1st of the month, and we still have no clue if or when we will get the rent money for this month. I woke up thinking that our life may be VERY different in the very near future! The last few days, I have been feeling like I am PMSing, but it certainly isn’t the time for it… well, now that I think about it and look at the calendar, maybe it is… time sure flies when you’re having fun!
Anyway, I have felt a little “off” lately.
CB sent me the Spirit of Prophecy this morning:
Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns — May 1, 2008:
In the process of time, you are ending a cycle that began about seven years ago. And, you will undergo an accelerated separation from the past that will create a division that cannot be bridged. Certainly, you will never be able to go back, nor should you look back. This chasm is ever widening, and your spiritual landscape is ever changing, but you can only move into the next phase of your existence as you have freedom to do so. Disappointments and regrets from the past can keep you bound and unable to progress, so now is the time to completely release everything that brought a sense of failure or reproach. Let go and be free, says the Lord.
"Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead." Philippians 3:13
It is interesting that seven years ago was when Tom started the Pure Desire ministry and when our marriage started turning around.
I have been struggling the last couple of days because I feel like Tom has been pulling away from me, “medicating” on basketball and other sports, as well as food again. He is staying up way too late, then taking naps during the day, and his schedule is all messed up. We haven’t been praying or worshiping together, and I have really needed that! I have tried so hard not to be unpleasant to be with (not always successfully!) and have really focused on praying for him more because I know he is under a huge amount of pressure.
Well, today, when he came home from his morning meeting, he got on his knees and asked me to forgive him for not leading me spiritually the way he should have been! Wow, thank you, Jesus! He had a good time with the Lord this morning, and I am guessing he was feeling convicted about his poor choices.
Father, I pray that we can both stay on track and continue to look at You and not our circumstances!
One of the things Tom said was that he needed to keep the right perspective as a “servant/slave” and not demand that God give him an answer. He has been so focused on how people see him and worrying about disappointing others, but the bottom line is that we have to do what our Lord, Master, and King has asked us to do—no matter what others think or say. This is tough!
Oswald Chambers' Devotion for Today:
Faith — Not Emotion
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7
For a while, we are fully aware of God's concern for us. But then, when God begins to use us in His work, we start to take on a pitiful look and talk only of our trials and difficulties. And all the while, God is trying to make us do our work as hidden people who are not in the spotlight.
None of us would be hidden spiritually if we could help it. Can we do our work when it seems that God has sealed up heaven? Some of us always want to be brightly illuminated saints with golden halos and the continual glow of inspiration, always surrounded by other saints of God. But a self-assured saint is of no value to God. He is abnormal, unfit for daily life, and completely unlike God.
We are here, not as immature angels, but as men and women, to do the work of this world. And we are to do it with an infinitely greater power to withstand the struggle because we have been born from above.
If we continually try to bring back those exceptional moments of inspiration, it is a sign that we do not truly want God. We become obsessed with the moments when God spoke to us before, insisting that He must do it again. But what God wants is for us to walk by faith.
How many of us have said, "I cannot do anything else until God appears to me?" He will never do it.
We must get up on our own—without any inspiration, without any sudden touch from God. Then comes our surprise, and we find ourselves exclaiming, "Why, He was there all the time, and I never knew it!"
Never live for those exceptional moments—they are surprises. God will give us His touches of inspiration only when He sees that we are not in danger of being led away by them.
We must never consider our moments of inspiration as the standard way of life.
Our work is our standard.
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