Friday, October 19, 2007

 

Provision, Promptings, and PMS

Today’s Power Minute: Not Without a Struggle

"But Ruth replied, 'Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.’” — Ruth 1:16-17

There are moments in life when we must bite the bullet, draw a line in the sand, and stand firm—even when we don’t fully understand what lies ahead. We reach a place where we can no longer tolerate the status quo, yet we’re unsure what the next step should be or if we should even take one at all.

It’s at this crossroads where we must decide: Will we stay where it’s safe, or will we move forward in faith? We may not know what’s beyond the horizon, but we cannot remain in the shadows of the sunset.

Struggles are a necessary part of transformation. A caterpillar must endure the fight to break free from its cocoon before it can become a butterfly. What struggles are you facing that seem impossible to endure? Look at Ruth—she lost everything, yet she knew she couldn’t turn back. She had to move forward with God, trusting Him to redeem her situation.

"You turned my mourning into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy." — Psalm 30:11

Trust in His power and don’t fear the struggle. The night may bring tears, but joy is coming in the morning.

Keep looking up!
— Pastor KT

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As I read this, I clearly felt God speaking to me about leaving my job. Phrases like “biting the bullet,” “you find yourself incapable of tolerating the status quo,” and “don’t fear the struggle” hit me hard. It felt like confirmation of what I’ve already been sensing in my spirit. Oh Lord, You know how much I want to leave!

I was also doing a Bible study with Pastor KT (the author of Power Minute), and one of the questions we had to answer was: “What is God asking you to prepare for?”

While praying about it on my morning walk, I felt God say: “Prepare to depart.” Immediately, I knew He meant my job. So, I’ve been getting things in order at work, preparing to hand things over for when God says, “Go.”

At lunch today, I shared my heart with a friend—how I feel called to full-time ministry but struggle with fears about finances and losing our benefits.

Later, Tom called with an unexpected blessing. We received a check from Bank of America for $2,460.00—hand-addressed to us, with “overpayment” written in the memo section, but no other explanation.

Bank of America financed my car, so we assume they sold it at auction, paid off what was owed, and this was the leftover amount. Who has ever heard of a bank sending money back after repossessing a car?! Wait, what!??

And here’s the crazy part—Tom’s next car payment (after SK paid part of it) was due on November 1st. The exact amount owed? $2,298.00! That left us with just over $100 to cover the maintenance his car needed.

Only God! 🙌

That night, BY surprised Tom and me with tickets to the Sonic Flood concert. When we arrived, he pulled us aside for a special task—praying over the band before they performed. It was such a cool experience!

But honestly, the rest of the evening went downhill fast. I was exhausted, grumpy, and majorly PMSing (I swear I spend more time PMSing than not lately!).

I let Tom get under my skin, and instead of enjoying the concert, I was just irritated. By the time we got home, I was so annoyed with myself that I went straight to bed. Poor Tom. 😬

Saturday, October 20, 2007

A Day of Revelation and Release

Today wasn’t much better than last night—Tom and I were still at each other’s throats all morning. Frustrated and drained, I knew I needed a shift in my attitude. I asked Tom to lead us in worship, praying that God would change my heart.

He showed up. And I was broken.

I had been feeling so exhausted, completely “done,” crying out to God for help. I told Him, “I can’t keep going like this—working all these hours and trying to do ministry too.” Within seconds, He replayed in my mind the word He had given my friend and reminded me:

“I have already told you what you need to do.”

I immediately thought about why I hadn't quit my job yet—money and benefits. But then God responded:

• Me: “But I’m the only income.”
• God: “I am your provider.”
• Me: “But I’m the only one with health benefits!”
• God: “I am your healer.”

Then I heard one clear word: “GO.”

At that moment, I was overwhelmed with relief, release, freedom, and joy. All I could do was cry! It felt like a massive weight had lifted off my shoulders.

To step out in faith, to trust my Lord and Savior fully, and to KNOW that He will provide—WOW.

Right after this powerful prayer time, I quickly checked my emails and saw a message from a woman in my Womanade group:

Hello Amiga Linda,
Linda, you know Linda means "pretty, beautiful" in Spanish. And you are…

Always your Amiga, M

The timing struck me—just days after my friend’s husband had told me something similar. Wow, Lord. Thank You!

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Even after my breakthrough, Tom and I continued to struggle. We were still bickering, and about an hour before our friends arrived for a birthday dinner, Tom lost it. He threw his water bottle on the floor and stormed out.

Earlier, I had acknowledged my own attitude and apologized, but I also told him, “There’s something deeper going on with you, and I’m not going to take responsibility for what isn’t mine.”

When he returned, he apologized and finally opened up.

He confessed that he felt all his old insecurities resurfacing—the fear that if everything went to hell in a handbasket, everyone would blame him. He felt like a failure again, like nothing he did was right, like everyone was watching him, judging him.

But in that moment, the anger and tension broke. We were restored before our guests arrived.

We shared our big news with them, and they prayed over us and supported us in our crazy leap of faith. 🥰 We are so blessed to have such good friends!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Breaking the News to My Boss

Yesterday was house auction day… Still no word yet, but SS left a message saying he wanted to update us on what happened.

I had been wanting to tell my boss that God said ‘Go,’ but he was in Texas for meetings on Monday and Tuesday, then stuck in all-day meetings on Wednesday.

Finally, today, I caught him before he headed into another full-day meeting. I told him, “We need to talk.”

At first, he just said, “Okay,” and started to walk away. But then, he suddenly stopped, looked at me, and realization dawned in his eyes.

He sighed, “No, we don’t.”

I insisted, “Yes, we do.”

Then he asked, “Did God say ‘Go’?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

He groaned, “Ahhh, man!” and walked back into his meeting.

Later, he told me that he had shared what I said with the executives. They immediately asked what I needed to stay and even offered me a raise to keep me. But my boss told them:

“It’s God taking her away… and we can’t compete with Him!”

Ha! I love it! 😆

Friday, October 26, 2007

Postponed Plans and Potential Buyers

This morning, SS called Tom to update him on what happened Wednesday. For some reason, the auction was postponed until November 28th…??

SS suspects it might be because both our first and second mortgages are with the same bank. They may have decided to consolidate the loans before putting the house back up for auction with a higher minimum bid. Who knows at this point?

But here’s the crazy part—SS and my former boss/co-worker (who are now partners) were actually planning to bid on the house to try to buy it for themselves!

I had lunch with my former boss today (which was arranged before all this house drama unfolded), and I got to share our story with her. :)

She suggested that before the next auction date, we contact the mortgage company and let them know that we have people interested in buying the house. Then, we could try to negotiate a "deed in lieu of foreclosure." This would prevent the foreclosure from being officially recorded against us.

I told her, “Don’t buy the house for us—only do it if God is telling you to.”

So, we’ll see where things go from here…

After lunch, I was so exhausted that when I got back to work, I shut everything down early. I went home around 3:30, went straight to bed, and slept for two and a half hours. 😴

Saturday, November 10, 2007

 A Call Along the Shoreline

"The eternal God is thy refuge." — Deuteronomy 33:27

The word refuge can also be translated as "mansion" or "abiding place," which paints a beautiful picture—God as our dwelling, our home. This metaphor is both full and sweet, for no matter how humble, our home is dear to us. Even more so is our blessed God, in whom we live, move, and have our being. At home, we feel safe, shutting out the world and resting in quiet security. In the same way, when we abide in God, we "fear no evil." He is our shelter, our retreat, our eternal refuge.

Home is also where we rest—where we find peace after the exhaustion of the day. Likewise, when life’s battles leave us weary, we can turn to God and find true rest for our souls.

This excerpt from a devotional I read today really spoke to my heart. I have been so busy lately that I need to dwell in the security and safety of my Lord. This describes exactly what I’ve felt all year—when I sit at His feet, I experience His peace, His comfort, and His rest from the weight of the world. He is so good.

Tom left for California on October 29th for the final goodbye to the house and returned on November 8th, only to leave again for the Freedom Men’s Retreat on Friday, November 9th. I’m thankful for a quiet moment today to catch my breath, go through my emails, and spend time journaling. Honestly, I’ve been busier than I ever wanted to be, so in a way, it was a good thing Tom was gone—I wouldn’t have been home much anyway!

I am so ready to be done with my job, but one of the blessings in this transition is being able to openly share what I’m about to do. People at work seem genuinely interested and happy for me, and it’s such a gift to be able to speak about my Lord and His calling—even in the workplace.

I ordered nine used copies of Letters from a Skeptic to give as going-away gifts to the people God directs me to. Each book will include a note of encouragement and a personal prayer. I pray the Lord uses this to soften hearts and draw people closer to Him.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the call that God has placed on Tom and me. I keep picturing the shoreline—the one from the Gospels—where fishermen and laborers are busy with their daily work, and Jesus walks along the water’s edge, calling out, "Come, follow me!"

Before, I imagined Jesus calling only specific people, handpicking a few from the crowd. But now, I see it differently. I see Him calling everyone! And only a few actually respond.

What if that’s what’s happening now? What if God is calling many to step out in faith, to leave behind their jobs, their comfort, their “gods,” to follow Him in a deeper and more passionate way? What if Tom and I are just two among those who are answering that call?

I don’t know for sure, but I do know that I feel the Holy Spirit moving mightily. It’s the only way I’ve had the strength to take this step. Something is happening—something big. I believe He is preparing to sweep through this area, bringing His Word, His power, and His healing to those who need it.

I am humbled beyond words.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Stripped to Trust

Once again, I have to admit—I’ve been too busy. My time at work is coming to an end… well, sort of. Last week, I spoke with my co-workers, and we agreed that I would need to stay a little longer, but only in a part-time capacity, working from home. They still haven’t hired anyone to help the girl taking over my role, nor have they filled the billing position. That means she’s stuck doing it all, and I just couldn’t walk away and leave her in that situation. So, starting December 3rd, I’ll be working from home part-time.

As for the house, I think SS and DM have decided to let it go, which is fine with us. The auction is now rescheduled for this Wednesday, November 28th. We still have no idea what God has in store, but I have complete confidence that it will all work out.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on why we’re going through this process. I truly believe God is stripping away anything we’ve relied on other than Him. For so many years, my job, my credit, and even my credit cards became my safety net—my gods. And now, He’s asking us to lay them on the altar and trust Him alone for our provision.

That led me to think about Abraham. Could it be that he had idolized Isaac? After waiting so long for a son, I can completely understand how that could happen. Maybe God wasn’t just testing Abraham’s faith—maybe He was asking him to surrender something that had taken priority over God Himself. That realization hit me in a way it never had before. Suddenly, Abraham felt so human to me—so relatable, fallible, and real.

God keeps amazing me with these deeper insights into the people of the Bible, making them tangible, making them alive.

Tom and I keep going back and forth about getting licensed. Tom keeps asking, “Why are we doing this?”—and honestly, we don’t even know. In the end, we may not get approved at all. Part of the interview process requires a background and credit check, and with our current financial situation, I’d imagine our credit is not looking great. If that’s the case, we’ll be denied.

So how will this all turn out? I have no idea.

And the plot thickens! :)

Saturday, December 01, 2007

I AM FREE!! The feeling I have today is indescribable. I am so excited to serve God in a full-time capacity now. 

Planting Seeds and Trusting the Process

Being able to work from home, meet people daily, spend more time with Tom, and dedicate more of my time to serving my Lord and Savior is such an amazing feeling!

The last couple of days at work were pretty cool. People kept asking me about what I was going into, and I had so many opportunities to talk about my passion—my Lord—and what I will be doing with my time.

The Lord told me to buy a bunch of Letters from a Skeptic and give them away at work, so I passed out nine of them as He led. I wrote a little note in each one and let them know I’d love to meet with them after they finished the book to hear their thoughts. I feel like the Lord is going to open even more doors and use this book as a seed for His Gospel.

The house auction was postponed yet again—this time until January 2nd! SS and DM were there after all, and SS called to let me know what happened. He said they gave the same reason as before: “We are working out payment with the owners.” (It must be a canned response because we haven’t heard anything from them in a while.)

SS is amazed and dumbfounded by the whole thing. He’s never seen anything like this before and is really curious to see how it all plays out. He said he’d be there on the 2nd and will let us know what happens again.