Thursday, May 29, 2008

Roaring Back and Seeing Through Spiritual Eyes

I Have a Lot to Catch Up On, So Here Goes:

Monday, Memorial Day, I didn’t have any meetings, so Tom and I just hung out, walked, and cleaned the house. Tom has been stressing out really badly, so during lunch, we talked about how much we’ve been under attack lately. We both ended up in tears—just still trying to trust and not worry, doubt, or fear. Much easier said than done!

One of the guys Tom meets with wanted to meet Monday night and asked if he could come to our house. We agreed, and then his wife had a very hard day and left work early, so I suggested she come too. I would spend time with her while Tom met with her husband. When they arrived, they brought 8 to 10 bags of groceries! I was totally and completely surprised and blessed! We weren’t “out” of food, but we were getting very low, and I was actually having fun getting creative with what we did have. God is so good! We had a very special time with this couple, making it a truly “memorable” Memorial Day.

On Tuesday morning, I got this word from the Spirit of Prophecy:

Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns – May 27, 2008:
"The enemy has come at you like a roaring lion eager to devour his prey, but I AM the Lion of Judah, your King. I have given you the power and authority to stand against this attack, and it is time for you to roar back! Do not draw back without a fight, but rather go up against this enemy who seeks your destruction, and I will bring about a great deliverance as I work through your faith and courage, says the Lord."

Psalms 22:13 They gape at Me with their mouths, like a raging and roaring lion.

When I read that, my spirit responded. I realized we’ve been lying down and letting the enemy beat up on us far too much. So after breakfast and our reading in 1 Corinthians, I told Tom about the word and that I felt like we needed to stand up, take authority in prayer, and ROAR BACK!

We prayed and rebuked Satan and all his minions. Then, Tom confessed before God and me that he had “slipped” four times in the last two months—twice in April after M and L left and twice in May after PJ died. Talk about getting the wind knocked out of me!

The prayer time ended quickly after that, and we had a long conversation about his confession and everything surrounding it. Suddenly, everything made sense—Tom’s behavior, my sense of disconnection and lack of intimacy, and the overall feeling that we weren’t on the same page. Thank you, Jesus, that it’s out in the open now! The enemy no longer has power over him, and the wedge between us is gone.

Later, Tom mowed the lawn while I took care of emails, and when we came back together, we talked more. Tom felt deeply defeated. He poured out—more like emotionally “threw up”—all his feelings of inadequacy, rejection, disappointment in himself, God, and others. For almost an hour, he let it all out.

At one point, I started feeling overwhelmed, so I prayed in the Spirit, asking God to help me deal with everything. And He did!

When Tom was done, I told him he was seeing everything through human eyes, focusing on things that don’t matter to God. I told him to put on his spiritual glasses and look at what God is doing through us! I reminded him that he is a General in the Lord’s army, fighting a battle for the Kingdom, and he was letting the enemy beat him down too much. He needed to stand up, take the authority God had given him, and step into his calling.

As I spoke, God gave me a vision of Tom as a warrior—like something from the days of King Arthur and Lancelot—serving the King and fighting for Him. It was a powerful moment for both of us. We prayed again, then got ready for the Tuesday night group at LJ’s.

On Saturday, I felt led to send an email to people I knew would pray, asking for ongoing prayer covering over our ministry and family. I am so glad I did because I feel that prayer covering has had a huge impact!

Wednesday was a better day. I had lunch with SL (the Womanade leader) and then spent the rest of the day with W. When we dropped W off, E told me that when she went grocery shopping, God was very persistent in telling her to buy us produce. She hesitated, knowing we had just received groceries, but the Lord kept prompting her—loudly!

Thank you, Jesus! We had plenty of food, but not much produce, and God used E to fill that gap. It felt a little awkward having our daughter buy groceries for us, but I know the Lord will bless her obedience, and I wouldn’t want to rob her of that.

By Wednesday, we were down to no gas again. We had only $5 in checking and $8 in savings, which we had to use to buy gas ($3.89/gallon) so Tom could get to his meetings. Then, this morning, Tom called to tell me that one of the guys he met with said God told him to give Tom the cash in his pocket—$35! Now we can get to the meeting tonight. Thank you, Jesus, for your provision!

That conversation led Tom and me to talk again about where we are. I reminded him that we need to spend more time praying for the people in our ministry and stop focusing so much on our situation. God has never let us down, yet we keep looking ahead in fear instead of trusting Him. It feels like we spend more time praying for ourselves than for the people God has placed in our lives, and that’s not our mission. We need to take up our spiritual arms and do battle for them!

Also, we need to be praying together for things we hope God will take care of—like the Kingdom guide seminar this weekend and E and M’s wedding in August. We keep waiting for Him to handle it, but we aren’t actually seeking His will about it together. If we do that, I believe He will give us clear direction instead of us just wondering.

This morning, I woke up with a strong sense that we need to take spiritual authority daily and step into what our King has for us. I feel a new vision, a new determination like never before! I am sick and tired of the enemy calling the shots. I won’t take it anymore, in Jesus’ name!

As I was writing this and preparing to include Tuesday’s Spirit of Prophecy word, I read it differently than I did on Monday:

The Trumpet by Bill Burns – May 27, 2008:
"Come up here, My children, for indeed that which you have heard noised abroad is true. There is an open door in the heavenlies that you can enter through by faith. Again, I say, come boldly before My throne of grace. Come boldly to receive that which I have for you. In these days of the manifest presence of My kingdom, a new reality shall be birthed within your heart and mind. New mindsets will come forth, and new attitudes will be birthed as a result of those mindsets. Come, I say, and feed upon the fresh manna of these days. Feed upon that which I give to you. Feed upon My word that I deposit in your heart. Meditate upon My word so that the fullness of what has been spoken to you can bring forth the harvest of My impartation, says the Lord."

I can see that I do have a new reality, a new mindset, and a new attitude! I have more confidence in God and a deeper determination to focus on His Kingdom, not mine.

Jesus, help me hang on to this in Your strength, not mine. Thank you for your revelation. I know this is not a game to the enemy, so we have to stop playing around and get serious.

Wednesday, Spirit of Prophecy was good too:

Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns -- May 28, 2008:
Choose this day who you will serve. It is your choice. You can either serve yourself as you see through the filter of your circumstances and grumble and complain throughout the day, OR you can look at life through the filter of My word, have faith, and trust Me to bring you through each moment in complete victory. I am well able to bring you forth triumphant if you will choose to serve Me, says the Lord.

"Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one's slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness?" Romans 6:16

And here is today’s:

Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns -- May 29, 2008:
Behold, I am opening new doors and providing substantial help and supernatural strength for you to accomplish what you have set yourself to achieve. Do not tarry, but move through these portals expeditiously. I will give you the necessary wisdom and direction required at this time to fulfill your intentions. However, you must establish and maintain valid priorities beginning with godly desires and faith if you are to attain your objective, says the Lord.

"By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible." Hebrews 11:3

"‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty." – Zechariah 4:6

I choose You today, Lord! You are my King, and I ask for Your instructions for today. Here am I, Lord—send me!

Friday, May 30, 2008

Choosing Faith Over Fear

The enemy was on me first thing again this morning, reminding me that if we didn’t pay the $50 water bill today, it would be cut off tomorrow. But I remembered the Word: “Choose this day whom you will serve!” So, I made the decision to choose my faithful Lord and Savior!

Yesterday, when Tom got home from his last meeting, he told me that the guy he met with felt like he was supposed to give him $20—and this guy isn’t even a Christian! Because of that, Tom was able to fill the gas tank and still had $15 left over. He planned to buy lunch today, but then the guy he met with ended up buying it for him instead!

Then, we got a card from Marteen, and she sent me $45 for the cookies I made for her (which I had done for free, but she felt led to bless me). And guess what? We were able to pay the water bill today! Thank you, Jesus! You are so very faithful and true!

Last night at our meeting at R and J’s house church, they told us they couldn’t host the meetings anymore, so it was our last night there. We were disappointed, but we know they are following the Lord’s leading, and He will honor and bless their obedience. Now we are asking, “What’s next, Lord?” We’re learning to see that some things are just for a season and that the Lord will continue to move and grow us. One of the things He spoke to us about last night was that He can’t do anything if we’re sitting still, but if we move, He can do more through us. His word to us is: "MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!"

Oswald Chambers' Devotional for Today

May 30 – "Yes—But . . .!"

"And another man said, I will come with you, Lord, but first let me say a last good-day to those who are at my house." —Luke 9:61

Suppose God tells you to do something that is an enormous test of your common sense, totally going against it. What will you do? Will you hold back? If you get into the habit of hesitating when tested, you will continue doing so until you break the pattern through sheer determination. The same is true spiritually. Again and again, you may come right up to what Jesus wants, but every time, you turn back at the true point of testing—until you choose to abandon yourself completely to God in total surrender.

Yet we tend to say, "Yes, but—what about . . .?" Or, "Yes, I will obey God, but only if it doesn't go against my common sense."

Jesus Christ demands the same unrestrained, adventurous spirit in those who trust Him that natural men exhibit in their pursuits. If anyone wants to accomplish something worthwhile, there will be times when they must risk everything. Spiritually, Jesus calls us to risk all that we cling to through common sense and instead leap by faith into what He says. Once you obey, you will immediately find that His words are more solidly reliable than anything your common sense could have imagined.

By common sense, Jesus' commands may seem reckless, but when tested by faith, they will fill your spirit with awe at the reality of God’s power. Trust completely in Him. When He presents you with a new opportunity, seize it. Too often, we act like pagans in a crisis—only one in a crowd dares to invest their faith in God's character.

WOW!! That is exactly what we are doing—abandoning ourselves to God in total surrender and letting go of our common sense—and He is proving how faithful and solid He is! We are in AWE!

Spirit of Prophecy for Today

Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns — May 30, 2008

"The enemy has sent deception against you, My people, to undermine your hope. Refuse to allow fear or unbelief to weaken your firm foundation of faith. When in doubt, return to the truth of My word and renew yourself in spiritual reality. I am your very present help in times of trouble, and I am with you to uphold you and bring you through this time of trouble in great victory," says the Lord. "Stand strong, be courageous, and do not be afraid."

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms; He will thrust out the enemy from before you, and will say, 'Destroy!'" —Deuteronomy 33:27

Monday, June 02, 2008

 When Feelings Clash with Faith

Today was a very tough day. I woke up in a weird mood, and Tom was reacting to it in a defensive way. Things just weren’t going well at all. I could sense the spiritual warfare happening, but I was struggling to get past the “feelings” enough to really deal with it. I did a lot of praying, and the Lord helped us out in a big way!

Yesterday had been amazing at the Acts Bible Study (which is probably why the enemy came swooping in today). We learned so much and were flying high spiritually—so of course, a crash tried to follow. One of the key things Tom identified in his desire to see the power of God in his life was that he was also seeking validation—a confirmation that he was doing what God had called him to do.

During our post-study discussion, someone brought up the verse where Jesus is baptized and the heavens open up. God declares, “This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17). This happened before Jesus even began His three-year ministry! He was validated before He did anything. Then D added something powerful from Psalm 139:16: “Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”

Praise God—we have already been validated, before the creation of the world! We don’t need to chase validation to know that God is pleased with us.

D also shared another powerful insight from the study: we were created for three main purposes:

1. To worship God

2. To serve man

3. To take authority over the devil

And if we do those out of order, we end up serving the enemy. If we worship men or anything else, we’re misaligned. If we try to “serve” God through doing or works without the right heart, that’s also wrong. And if we try to take authority over people instead of the enemy, we’re off track too. It was so eye-opening to see how easily we get things backward!

This reminded me of a Jason Upton song Tom recently downloaded called “Dying Star.” The lyrics are so powerful:

You've got your best man on the front side
You always show your best side
And evil's always on the other side
You say this is your strategy
But son I hope you take it from me
You look just like your enemy—you're full of pride

We better trash our idols if we want to be
In the army of the Lord
And the greatest idol is you and me
We better get on the threshing floor

When will we learn that God's strategy
Is giving glory to the Lord?
We better trash our idols if we want to be
In the army of the Lord

That line—“You look just like your enemy—you're full of pride”—hit hard. When we’re out of alignment with what God calls us to do, we can end up reflecting the very thing we’re supposed to be standing against.

Despite all of that, the Lord showed up again today in such a faithful way! We received another unexpected gift—$200! And of course, it came just in time. Tom had a meeting in Cary and wasn’t even sure if he had enough gas to get home. Plus, we still have several overdue bills, so we’re praying about how to wisely use this blessing.

On another note, I’ve been trying to find my old friend S.H. over the last couple of days. I keep hitting a paywall of $9.95 to get her contact info, and it’s been frustrating. I think I’ll just let it go for now and trust that if I’m supposed to reconnect with her, the Lord will make a way.

---

Oswald Chambers’ Devotional – June 2
Are You Obsessed by Something?
“If a man has the fear of the Lord, the Lord will be his teacher in the way of his pleasure.” – Psalm 25:12

Are you obsessed by something? Most of us would say, “No,” but the truth is—we’re often obsessed with ourselves. Even as Christians, we can be consumed by our own experience of the faith instead of being truly obsessed with God Himself.

The psalmist teaches us that the abiding awareness of the Christian life is to be God—not just thoughts about Him, but His presence saturating our entire being. Just like a child is unconsciously yet deeply aware of their mother, so we are to "live and move and have our being" in Him (Acts 17:28).

If we are obsessed with God, nothing else—no worry, concern, or tribulation—can invade our lives. That’s why Jesus emphasized the sin of worrying. When we are truly rooted in Him, surrounded by Him, we are protected and at peace.

"He himself shall dwell in prosperity..." (Psalm 25:13).
Even in tribulation, misunderstanding, or slander, if our “life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3), we will be at ease, because nothing can break through God’s shelter.

Lord, I want to be “obsessed” by You—so that nothing else can get into my life… no concerns, no worries, no tribulation. Just You.

Tuesday, June 11, 2008

Wrecked and Remade

Yesterday, while Tom was napping, I listened to a CD that NL gave us during our last Thursday night meeting. It was called "Ten Shekels and a Shirt" (available on sermonindex.net), and wow—I was wrecked.

That message pierced my heart. I was undone—sobbing, repenting, and deeply convicted. It pulled me out of my self-focus and reminded me, once again, of who God is... and who I am not. I had been wallowing in fear, doubt, and questions—wondering where God is in all this chaos. But that message humbled me. It put me right back in my place, and I was flooded with repentance for trying to drag God into my timeline and my expectations instead of trusting Him in His perfect way.

It was so powerful, I knew Tom had to hear it too. I even thought about bringing it to the Upper Room group so others could hear it. So I prayed, “Lord, if You want me to share this with the group, please provide the gas money to get there. If not, we’ll just stay home and listen to it ourselves.”

Well, time came to leave, and the gas money didn’t come—so Tom and I stayed in and listened together. And just like it did with me, the message hit Tom right in the heart. We were both crying and repenting… recognizing how much we’ve been asking God to serve us, to show up in our timing. We forgot that He’s not here to serve us—we’re here to serve Him. His provision always comes—but in His way and His time.

Honestly, I should probably listen to that message daily until its truth saturates my heart, my mind, and my spirit.

Today is W’s day, and we barely had enough gas to go pick him up and bring him back. But then, the Lord showed up in a sweet and unexpected way. A sister in the Lord called and said that God had laid us on her heart—and told her it was okay to tithe to “His body.” She gave us $100. Praise You, Jesus! That covered a tank of gas and a few groceries—just what we needed for this week.

Here is today’s Spirit of Prophecy:

Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns – June 11, 2008

Be aware that the enemy will do his utmost to get you to succumb to discouragement and defeat, but I say to you, rise up! This is a demonic attack and is meant to demoralize you. You are not destined to live under the rule of oppression. You are dedicated to victory, for the enemy is under your feet. Again, rise up, overcome the works of the flesh, and war against these powers of darkness. I am with you to strengthen you for the battle, says the Lord.

“Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them. For those who are such do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly, and by smooth words and flattering speech deceive the hearts of the simple. For your obedience has become known to all. Therefore I am glad on your behalf; but I want you to be wise in what is good, and simple concerning evil. And the God of peace will crush Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.” – Romans 16:17–20