Tuesday, January 22, 2008

A Day of Expectation and Confirmation

Today is the day—the final opportunity for another upset bid before the sale is final (or maybe it’s already final? I’m not entirely sure). Either way, it feels significant.

Yesterday was amazing. I had one-on-one time with M, where I was able to share what’s been happening in our lives. I also met someone new for lunch, and we decided to start the study Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free. I’m really looking forward to that!

Later, E and M came over for dinner, cards, and a powerful time of prayer—which lasted past 1:00 a.m.! Even though I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep, the prayer time was so good. I woke up this morning repenting for my weak flesh and selfishness.

Sunday’s Acts Bible Study was also a blessing. We ran into a couple we hadn’t seen in 10 years—definitely a God appointment. As we shared what the Lord is doing in our lives, they deeply related and expressed a desire to meet with us again.

When I shared with C about how God kept bringing up Mary and the birth of Jesus, she immediately said the word “birthing”—as if God was birthing something new.

I didn’t think much of it at first, but then M pointed out that from our last house payment in April until now is exactly 9 months—the length of a pregnancy.

Wow.

This morning, as I was lying in bed processing everything, I suddenly felt energized—a deep sense of expectation rising within me.

And then I laughed—because the word “expecting” ties right into pregnancy and birth.

It’s like God is giving birth to something in our lives.

On Sunday, our pastor called, but we didn’t connect until yesterday. He shared that he had prayed all last week but hadn’t received any specific direction from the Lord.

Then, this week, he felt the Lord saying:

"Something happened with you this past week that would clarify things for you."

Tom and I couldn’t think of one major thing, but rather, a series of confirmations—God continually affirming that we are exactly where we’re supposed to be.

We were so thankful that he didn’t come back with a “date” or anything like that.

Thank You, Jesus.

Last night, CB sent out a devotional that spoke directly to my heart:

The Lord asks: Are you not in My kingdom? Do you not live in the Kingdom of God? Is not My Word true?

Many of you are like grasshoppers in your own sight. You are not receiving by revelation the glory of My Kingdom...

None of you is without strength. None is weak. None is without revelation, for I live within you. My Word I give unto you, and My Spirit I bring upon you to confirm that which has been hidden in your heart.

Fear not. Lay aside all doubt, and come boldly before the throne of grace, and you shall receive, says the Lord.

What a timely and powerful reminder.

God, I trust You.

I choose to expect the new thing You are bringing forth in this season.

Amen.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Standing Firm in Uncertainty

As of 11:56 a.m., we still haven’t heard anything regarding the house. Chase Home Finance left a message yesterday, but we haven’t returned the call yet. I’m still believing in God’s miracles.

Last night, we had K and S over for dinner and had a wonderful time of fellowship—talking about the Lord and all that He is doing around us.

Earlier in the day, I met with a group of women, and it was a powerful time of sharing our hearts. I mentioned the Mentoring book I’m reading and invited them to join us Monday night. However, we decided it would be better to discuss the book during our regular meetings rather than adding another night to our schedules.

At first, nothing really stood out to me in my devotional time, so I planned to keep today’s entry short.

But then, at 12:37 p.m., everything changed.

I got off the phone with SS, who is now tentatively the new owner of this house—pending final financing on February 8th. He requested that if we can’t rent from him, we need to be out by February 15th.

And now, I sit here wondering how I should feel.

I don’t want to panic or doubt or react based on what I see or hear. But the thoughts creep in…

"Maybe we got this all wrong."
"Are we basing our faith on something God never actually said?"
"Is this all for nothing?"
"Was the pastor right, and we were wrong?"

Right before SS called, I was reading the story of Jehoshaphat, and when I returned to it, this scripture jumped out at me:

2 Chronicles 20:15-17

"Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's... You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you... Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you."

I don’t know if I can apply this directly to our situation, but I feel encouraged by it.

Of course, we’d love to stay in this home. SS even said we could buy it back from him later if we wanted to. But I don’t really care about the house itself—I just want to be in His will and not my own.

And still… I sense that this isn’t over yet.

Someone recently mentioned the “birthing” analogy to us, and they reminded us about the labor pains that come before a birth. Maybe that’s where we are right now—right in the middle of those pains.

Whatever happens, we give You all the Praise, Glory, and Honor, Lord!

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Father,

I pray that Your Holy Spirit will be with us in a mighty and powerful way in these next few days. Show us how to move forward—should we stay, or should we go?

Either way, we surrender to Your will.

Help us not to make decisions based on doubt, fear, or anxiety, but on faith, trust, and confidence in Your power, promises, and Word.

We are Your humble servants, and we are in Your hands.

Amen.

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A friend sent me this beautiful devotional on patience yesterday:

Exercising patience isn’t just an act of human will. The kind of patience Paul speaks of is a fruit of the Spirit, developed in a woman’s soul in tandem with God. It grows from her confidence in the sovereignty of God—knowing He will bring all things to completion, in His timing, in a way that benefits His children and glorifies Him.

Yes, Lord. I choose to trust You.