Tuesday, May 20, 2008

A Weekend of Blessings and Challenges

We had a very busy but good weekend! MS’s wedding was absolutely beautiful, and it felt like a special “date night” for Tom and me. M and C looked so happy, and I felt a strong desire to have them over for dinner soon to get to know C better.

On Saturday, I had a great meeting and then walked around Apex Lake three times! Later, we headed to E and R’s with A and C to welcome our niece, SC, who had just arrived from California. E picked her up from the airport, and we had a wonderful dinner together. C made wings and biscuits, and we enjoyed salad and dessert. AJ (R's mom) was there as well, making it a sweet time of fellowship.

Sunday was amazing in so many ways. We had used most of the gas we purchased with our $36 in rolled coins, and we wanted to attend the Acts Bible study in Raleigh. However, we also needed enough gas to make it to E’s for A’s birthday party. I had almost resigned myself to skipping the study, but Tom felt strongly that we should go. He searched every possible spot for more change and managed to scrape together another $10! We laughed as we headed to the gas station with our baggie of coins, marveling at the adventure of it all.

With gas prices at $3.75 per gallon, we didn’t get much, but it was just enough. The Bible study was, as always, incredibly enriching. As it wrapped up, EA (BA's daughter) shared a word she had received for us. We recorded it, and here it is verbatim:

“A couple of weeks ago, the last time you guys were here, I saw a picture of you. You were walking—one of you in front and the other behind. It was very windy, and you were pushing against the wind. And, I don’t know what it means, but this week I heard that God is pleased with your steadfastness. That you’re pushing against the wind, but He’s pleased with it. That you’re almost stoic—just keep stepping forward. Slowly but surely, you just keep walking. Just walk the walk.”

Wow. When we heard that “God was pleased with our steadfastness,” it was such a sweet and much-needed confirmation! What a relief to know we are on the right path and to keep pressing forward. Thank you, Jesus!

Then, as I sat down to eat, CA unexpectedly placed a check in my lap and said it was for later. We hadn’t mentioned our financial struggles to anyone, yet the Lord had laid it on her heart to bless us with $50! When Tom told her how we had scraped together change to get there, she laughed and said it must be for a tank of gas. On Monday, I put $49.01 worth into the tank—leaving us with exactly $1 to spare. God provides!

During the meal, the topic of a couples' retreat came up again. Cathy looked at me and said, “I can totally see you doing that out of your home!” This led me to share my “happy pill” moment from last Monday. She also mentioned a couple who run a ministry called “Job’s Retreat,” where they provide a place of rest and renewal for those who are ill or burned out from ministry. She will be giving us their contact information so we can learn from them. Another confirmation—thank You, Jesus!

Later, we headed to E’s for A’s 4th birthday party. The weather was perfect, and the kids had a blast playing on the slip-and-slide and in the small pool.

Unfortunately, I had a tough moment during the party. One of E's friends casually asked Adam, “I hear you have some news too?” and he responded, “Yes, I’m getting married in three weeks!” I was completely stunned. I asked, “Did I miss a conversation somewhere?” and he simply said, “Yes, you must have.” (Not true!) He and C had spent all Saturday evening with us and didn’t mention a word. It hurt deeply to find out this way, especially when I had been in denial about the possibility of them getting married on their planned “vacation” in June. Now, I can’t ignore it any longer.

Despite all the blessings of the weekend, today has been hard. I don’t have a specific reason, but I’m fighting depression again. Physically, I’m feeling pain in my right index finger, knees, neck, and head. Emotionally, I want to isolate and sleep—even after nearly 10 hours of rest last night. I know this is the enemy trying to rob me of my joy, so I’m engaged in a battle of the mind. My feelings do not define the truth!

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
— Philippians 4:4-7

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms…”
— Ephesians 6:10-12

Thank You, Jesus, for Your Word and Your Truth!

On a lighter note, Tom made a fascinating discovery in our front yard! We have a tree that we initially thought was one type, but we now realize it’s actually two different trees that have merged together. When we first moved in, we found it interesting, but now we’ve noticed that it’s producing fruit! We think one tree is a plum tree and the other is a peach tree, but it’s still too early to tell. Since they’re both young, the fruit may not be mature enough to eat this year, but what a cool and symbolic discovery—just like our own growth and journey in this house.

Spirit of Prophecy for Today

Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns — May 20, 2008

"Quiet your soul, watch intently, and listen carefully, for I will confirm what I have spoken to you with signs and wonders. But, you will have to be alert or you could miss the confirmation. I always confirm My word to you as I lead you forth to fulfill My purposes. Be sensitive and yielded to the unction of My Spirit, and do nothing until you are spiritually moved and have the peace that surpasses your own understanding, says the Lord.

'And they went out and preached everywhere, the Lord working with them and confirming the word through the accompanying signs.'”
— Mark 16:20

Amen!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Provision, Perspective, and Pressing In

Wow, it’s been a little while since I last wrote. Honestly, I just haven’t felt much like writing lately. It’s not that things have been bad—in fact, quite a few good things have happened—but I’ve just felt a bit quiet inside.

We finished house-sitting for T, and she was so pleased with us that she asked if we’d be willing to come back whenever they travel. Apparently, they go out of town often and need someone reliable to care for their home and pets. She paid us $200—$25 a day! I was surprised and blessed. A day or two later, I found myself laughing. Only God could come up with a setup where we get paid to stay in a beautiful home with internet, a big-screen TV, a screened-in porch, and food in the fridge. What a sweet, unexpected blessing!

We also celebrated A’s birthday there. We grilled steaks, baked potatoes, and I made his requested pineapple upside-down cake. Everything seemed to go smoothly, and everyone appeared to enjoy themselves. I just pray that I didn’t unknowingly say something that will come back to me later via C. Honestly, I feel like I could say, “The sky is blue,” and she’d find offense in it. It’s such a painful and frustrating tension—not being able to do anything right in her eyes.

On a more uplifting note, I’ve now visited G and F three times—cooked meals, ran errands, helped with odds and ends—and they seem very happy with me so far. I’m truly enjoying my time with them and love being able to pray for them while I serve. There’s something sweet and meaningful about that connection.

And God's provision? It continues to amaze me. Our car insurance and cell phone bills were due, and we were running on empty—literally. No gas, no groceries. Then, one by one, the Lord made a way. House-sitting brought in $200, G paid me $50 after my first visit, and then Tom met with a man CB had referred to him. Before even meeting Tom, the Lord laid it on this man’s heart to bless him with $150. Within two days, every single need was covered. Gas, groceries, and bills—handled. Thank You, Jesus. You are so faithful.

Lately, I’ve been working a lot on the house and yard. Honestly, maybe too much. I’ve had to pause and ask myself: Am I slipping into performance again? Trying to earn God’s approval by doing? This house needs so much work, and while I want to help, I have to keep first things first. I’ve been neglecting my quiet time, and I feel it.

Today, I wasn’t feeling well, so I slowed down—spent time with Tom and with the Lord, then took a 2½-hour nap. I think this cold is the Lord’s way of pressing the “pause” button and gently calling me back to rest in Him. Refocus. Re-center. Abide.

We’re still being blessed by Oswald Chambers, and the groups we’re attending continue to minister deeply to both Tom and me. This past Sunday, CA prayed over Tom. She warred in the Spirit, praying in tongues, and while we don’t remember all the words, we do remember her saying she saw the word “Restoration” over his head. That he would be used to restore lives and hearts. And she saw a massive angel standing behind him, guarding and protecting him. That gave us such peace and encouragement. What a powerful image.

Tom and I have had our ups and downs, but we’re getting better—much better—at recognizing the real enemy. We’re not falling for the old schemes as easily. God is growing us, sharpening us, and anchoring us.

Father, thank you so much for your provision and your faithfulness to us. Thank you for your patience with us as you continue to teach us who we are in you. Lord, I ask forgiveness for my drifting into old behavior patterns and I ask for Your strength to stand firm and walk steadily on the path that you have set before me. In Jesus name, Amen!