Overall, yesterday was a good day. I spent a lot of time praying, reading, and resting in the Lord. But I also fought a battle in my mind and thoughts.
Last night, Tom and I were reading Living Life Boldly, and it talked about how most Christians are “sitting on the sidelines” instead of getting in the game. Tom loves the football analogy—preparing, training, and feeling the thrill of being called in by the Coach to play. As we discussed it, I shared how excited I felt about finally being called in. After years on the bench, I was on the field, ready to play—only to find out there had been a mistake, and I wasn’t actually supposed to be there. The sinking feeling of disappointment was overwhelming.
That fear—that I’ve made a mistake and wasn’t actually called—is where my battle is right now. But I know this is a spiritual attack. The enemy is trying to discourage me and make me doubt my calling.
"When He has brought out all His own, He goes on ahead of them, and His sheep follow Him because they know His voice." – John 10:4
I know my Shepherd’s voice. I need to hold onto the truth and trust that He is leading me correctly.
Another struggle I’ve had is second-guessing the idea of setting a “date.” The enemy keeps whispering, “What if God doesn’t come through by the date that is set?” Our commitment was that, if that happened, we would go back into the world. But I don’t know that I could do that! I don’t want to limit God by setting timelines for Him to meet.
Lord, I pray that we are not trying to box You in or limit You. I pray that You will be the one in control of whatever date is set—not us!
Another thing that has been concerning me is that I haven’t heard from KT, my mentor. I was so excited to have a mentor, and then she just disappeared and hasn’t responded to my emails. But then, this morning, I got her Power Minute devotional, and I realized why—she’s been under attack too!
It made me feel bad for being so focused on myself, but something else about the Power Minute struck me. It was based on one of the exact scriptures God gave us months ago to encourage us:
"Moses told the people, Fear not; stand still (firm, confident, undismayed) and see the salvation of the Lord which He will work for you today. For the Egyptians you have seen today you shall never see again." – Exodus 14:13 (AMP)
Thank you, Jesus, that you care enough to encourage us over and over again and never grow weary of it. You know how weak we are, yet you continually reveal your love in such incredible ways!
Today, I choose to listen to the truth in Jesus’ name!
2022 Insert – Tom’s Perspective:
I was never comfortable with setting any kind of date. I was fully committed to following the Lord’s leading, even if it meant dying of starvation. I would rather die trusting Him than give up just because it was too hard or because someone else didn’t agree with it.
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