When Suffering Becomes Surrender
The battle rages on… and lately I feel like I may have had a small “glimpse” of what Job experienced when God lifted the hedge and allowed the enemy to attack. Not on his scale, of course—but enough to reveal how utterly dependent I am on the protection of my Lord. Without Him shielding, guiding, and covering me, I am painfully aware of my own weakness. I need Him—constantly.
I started listening again to Hinds’ Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard (a book I read years ago), and in chapter 7—“On the Shores of Loneliness”—Much Afraid encounters Pride, Resentment, and Self-Pity. As I listened to the conversation, their voices sounded uncomfortably familiar… the same whispers I’ve let circle in my own mind. I realized I’ve given far too much space to their lies.
Lord, help me hear Your truth above every other voice.
A couple of days ago, a friend emailed me right on time. She wrote:
“You both have been on my mind for about a week and I have been praying for you. The Lord told me to tell you, ‘Remain encouraged. I am your Strong Tower! No plan of the enemy has any ground in your life if you remain in Me and in My Word.’”
Thank You, Lord. Your timing is always perfect.
I also had a dream recently—one where I was pregnant. I felt such unusual peace and joy in the dream, like I had been given a second chance to “do it better this time.” When I told G and F, G said, “I wonder what THAT means?” And it made me think… pregnancy could represent so many things—an idea, a ministry, a healing, a new season beginning. Something forming beneath the surface.
Then this morning I had another strange dream. I was in an elevator trying to reach the 50th floor. The elevator shot upward so fast it passed my floor and continued into “negative” floors—floors that didn’t even exist, flashing red numbers on the display. I panicked and hit the cancel button, which made the elevator instantly plummet. As it free-fell, I cried out “Oh God!” and braced for impact—but it never came. Instead, I found myself hanging upside down only a couple of feet above the ground. Someone opened the door, and I realized I was safe.
It felt like a picture of my life: unpredictable, out of control, and somehow still held by God.
Tom and I are now reading Oswald Chambers’ biography, and what a life he lived—absolutely “sold out” for Christ. Tom has related to it so strongly that he’s choked up several times while reading. It comforts him to see that God worked in Oswald’s life in ways that look similar to what He is doing in ours. And one theme stands out again and again: the deep things of God are learned through suffering. Even Much Afraid’s companions in Hinds’ Feet are named Sorrow and Suffering. Jesus Himself was “a Man of Sorrows.” Why should we expect an easier road?
It seems the Holy Spirit is emphasizing this theme everywhere we turn. Last night in my ladies’ group we finished Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and the final truths centered on suffering:
Truth #20: “It is impossible to be godly without suffering.” (1 Peter 5:10)
—Sanctification happens when we embrace suffering instead of fleeing it.
Truth #21: “My suffering will not last forever.” (2 Corinthians 4:17–18)
—All suffering is purposeful and intentional.
Truth #22: “It is not about me; it’s all about Him.” (Colossians 1:16–18)
—We exist for His pleasure and glory, not our own comfort.
Ok Lord… I see what You are saying.
You are calling me to surrender, to trust, to submit, to embrace—not resist—these hardships.
But even here… even in this… I still need Your help.
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