Well, we didn’t even get the chance to spend our last $24 before God provided again! Tom checked our account last night, and we received our economic incentive money from the government—$1,200! Praise the Lord—there’s our rent for May! Wow. With that, we’ll have enough for rent, gas, and groceries for a few days. We still have other bills due, but God knows that and will take care of it in His perfect timing.
Today was PJ’s memorial service, and it was beautiful. PW and AB led worship, and a couple of guys shared moving and inspiring testimonies. One of the last songs they played was the final song we sang on Tuesday night, and as soon as they started, a flood of memories came rushing in. I just started weeping. It was good to have that emotional release because I haven’t really had one since Tuesday—just bits and pieces here and there. But I know there’s still more to come as I process everything.
Later, on our way to A and C’s, Tom and I were talking about his 50th birthday and the possibility of going to California. Then, his parents called and said they wanted to buy us tickets so we could come! That was so cool. 😊 We started discussing how long we should stay. Tom mentioned staying until the end of July, but then I thought about E and M’s wedding and how we should be back earlier to prepare.
That led to another idea—what if we drove to California and then from there to Colorado, before heading back home? Then Tom took it a step further and said, "Maybe we should sell and pack everything and have June be our last month here—so we can drive to CA and CO without the concern of paying bills while we’re gone?" 🤯 These are all very interesting thoughts. We’ll be praying to see if this is truly what God wants or if it’s just our own idea.
One of the things LJ shared on Tuesday morning over breakfast really stuck with me. She mentioned the cocoon vision—how if the butterfly is released too early or helped, it won’t survive. I remembered reading that the struggle of getting out of the cocoon is what strengthens its wings and allows it to fly. That was such a good reminder, and I feel like it was the Lord telling me not to rush ahead or "bail out" too early, but to wait for His timing. I also feel like we’re in that struggle right now!
Last night, as Tom and I were talking and praying about what our next step should be—whether we should give S and D our 30-day notice with the rent check—Tom kept saying, "I STILL don’t feel like God is saying ‘go’ yet." And honestly, when I was looking at Craigslist, getting serious about selling stuff, it just didn’t feel right.
I told Tom I wasn’t sure if that was just fear creeping in—knowing that once we step out, there’s no turning back—or if it was the Holy Spirit saying, ‘Not yet!’ So, for now, I’m still committed to waiting until Tom hears clearly from God before we take any big steps.
Lord, help us trust Your perfect timing! 🙏
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