Things seem to change pretty quickly around here anymore! I spoke with DD on Sunday about feeling like God is saying, “It’s time” to start the house church. He said, “Great! Where will it be?” And I sheepishly replied, “Your house…?” I explained what had transpired, and he shared that just that morning, he felt it was time to get serious about moving his stuff out and getting the house ready to rent. When I asked if he had taken the listing down, he said he decided to keep the rental ad running continuously until the house actually rented.
I also brought up the furniture situation and asked if he could talk to L and let us know how they both felt before we moved forward with anything.
Then today, he calls Tom and says he just got laid off from his job. DOH!! He works in construction, and with the industry struggling right now, the company had to let him go. Thankfully, L hadn’t quit her job yet, so at least they still have one income. DD said he wants to meet with us tomorrow night to talk about where we all stand and what’s next.
I’ve been praying ever since I heard about his job loss—asking God to somehow, some way, provide so we can contribute rent or help with utilities. Right now, all we’re receiving is just enough to cover gas and groceries. That’s it.
Tom has been in a deep funk the last few days. At Sunday’s Acts Bible Study, D mentioned that we won’t be judged by what we do, but by our love for God. On Tuesday morning, Tom woke me up—he was an emotional wreck. He said that statement had been haunting him ever since, and he felt like he was “screwed.” He brought up some old wounds and regrets I thought we had worked through, and it broke my heart to see him so tormented.
I’ve been in constant prayer for him. Asking God to help him, to show him what He needs him to see. I believe there’s a purpose in this season and that God will work it out in His perfect time.
I’ve seen God come through too many times to doubt Him now. If we need to leave this house, I believe He will provide another place. But part of me wants to ask Tom if he’s happy. He doesn’t seem to be doing well. The ministry is also suffering because he’s struggling to feel worthy, motivated, or perhaps even clear about his role.
I have to remind myself constantly—Tom doesn’t have the gift of service, and he’s not a pastor. He’s a teacher. I keep expecting him to handle things the way I would: initiating, calling people, doing the physical work. But that’s not his wiring. I’m the one who wants to paint and do the yard work, and sometimes I wonder why he doesn’t… but again, that’s not his gifting. He does spend a lot of time studying and worshiping, and that’s good. Maybe he needs an outlet to teach again. I don’t know. Maybe this is me trying to “fix” him again, so I should probably just keep praying.
I also recognize the spiritual warfare heating up around us. It feels like the enemy is trying to discourage us from starting this house church. I need to remember who the real enemy is—it’s not my husband. It’s not the finances. It’s not our limitations. This is a spiritual battle, and I need to fight accordingly.
I’m almost done painting at M&J’s. If I can, I’ll swing by tomorrow and finish. If not, I think I’m officially done.
Lord, thank You for Your patience with me. Thank You for Your faithfulness, even when I’m not. Help us keep our eyes on You—not the circumstances. Don’t let us get distracted by the storm or the wind or the waves. Help us trust You with every detail of our lives and ministry. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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