We are slowly getting settled here at TB’s townhouse. His situation is such that he is basically starting from scratch, so we are trying to make sure we have everything we need for everyday living and eating. Since we had the blessing from M and A, Tom and I went to the dollar store, Target, and Wal-Mart trying to find things we needed for very little money. I found myself starting to get frustrated that we were spending money on things we already had in storage, thinking we really couldn’t afford to do this! But Tom and I had talked about the fact that we could bring the things over from storage, but then TB wouldn’t have them when we left, so we needed to get things he could keep for himself. Honestly, I was at the point where I wouldn’t have cared whether our things from storage stayed here or not because I know that the Lord will provide what we need down the road, but Tom wasn’t feeling the same way… I guess this is another area where I need to wait for him.
As I reflected on how faithful God has been in His provision, I had to correct my feelings of frustration and release it to the Lord, saying, “Lord, even in this area I know you will provide!” Then peace came, and I was able to relax. We were able to get a lot with the little amount we had, and TB did some shopping too, so things are starting to come together.
H’s parents were here for the holidays, and she wanted me to meet her dad (I had already met her mom), so I went over to her house last night to spend some time with them. H and her dad were not there when I first arrived, so her mom and I had a nice time chatting while we waited for them to return. She asked me how I could live the life I am living and marveled at my faith. I told her there was no way we could do this without the strength and anointing from the Lord! I also told her I felt like my faith was still weak and that I still had a very long way to go.
It’s like the closer you get to God, the more you see how far away you really are… the more faith I have, the more I see how much more I need.
I mentioned that even in this recent move, when we showed up at TB’s house and all the other guys were there to help him, I had this unexpected rush of embarrassment and self-consciousness. I wondered what these people were thinking of us and hoped they did not think we were “moving in on” or “mooching from” TB, or taking advantage of him! I was surprised to have those thoughts, but that just goes to show how far I am from where I want and need to be in my faith. This life is still very hard to do! Granted, it’s not as hard as it was originally, but it’s still not as easy as I hope it will be one day.
H’s mom gave me a couple of gifts for Christmas as a “thank you” for being a friend to H (some oil and vinegars for the kitchen, some special chocolates, and dessert wine). It is so humbling to have people pour out gifts to us… that was something else I mentioned to her. It is much easier for me to be the “giver” of gifts than the “receiver”! But God has placed us on the “receiving” end for a while, and I have to learn to receive as graciously as I give.
When H and her dad arrived, we had a nice dinner and got to know each other better, then ended our time together in prayer. H’s dad walked me out to the car and, when he shook my hand, he slipped me $40!! At that moment, the Holy Spirit reminded me of my earlier concern and frustration and said, “See, I have it all covered, so you really don’t need to worry about anything! Just trust me!” God is so good and patient with me!
We have really enjoyed hanging out with TB here at the house. We have had some great conversations about the Lord, our walks, jobs, and struggles. On Monday night, we even spent some time in prayer together before we all went to bed. That was very cool! This townhouse has a basement that is partially finished and is enough so that Tom can set up his office down there. The former tenants even left a desk that he was able to use! Tom has deemed it the “Bat Cave” :)
Many people have asked us, “How long will you be staying here?” Well, we don’t really know at this point. On Sunday, when we were moving in, we broached the subject with TB and asked him what his time frame was. He said he didn’t have one. People were asking him as well, but he said he was leaving it up to the Lord. We told him we didn’t want him to think it was “indefinite,” but if he gave a time frame and a deadline, the Lord would provide another place for us. When one door shuts, another one opens.
Then he said he was okay with us being here, but after about 35 years we would have to talk… :) That lets us know that we aren’t talking “weeks” but more like “months.” At the same time, in our experience so far with the Lord, we have learned not to “expect” it to be a certain way because as soon as we do, God will change it up on us. So, we are still taking it one day at a time and praying, asking God for His timeline.
Thank you, Lord, for taking such good care of us and managing all the details!
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