This past week at work was intense, as it always is at the beginning of the month with billing deadlines. Each morning, I started working as soon as I arrived and didn’t stop for ten or eleven hours straight. A couple of days, I didn’t even take a lunch break—just ate my salad at my desk while I worked. Thank the Lord for K! She has been such a lifesaver and a wonderful help. I did miss getting into the Word in the mornings and my workouts, but at least I know this hectic season will end soon.
Over the past week or so, Tom and I had been drifting apart, and I didn’t realize how far until yesterday. It was a difficult day, but God—as always—turned it around this morning for His glory. I could see that the enemy was working hard to drive a wedge between us, and we were both struggling to break free from it. Tom felt like I was attacking him, while I thought he was making more out of situations than they really were. I did sense some emotional distance, but in my opinion, it wasn’t as bad as he believed.
Tension escalated, and Tom eventually went upstairs after asking me to search my heart and see what was there. I stayed downstairs, listening to mellow music, doing a word search puzzle, and trying to pray. I asked God why I was running so hard. I felt like I had years ago when all I wanted to do was run away from home and leave Tom behind. My heart had become so hard. I had no desire to work things out and just wanted to stay as far away from him as possible.
When Tom came downstairs to watch TV, I took the opportunity to escape upstairs to check emails and read.
Later, I began going through the Love Addiction book because someone had mentioned referring a woman to me who was struggling in that area, knowing I could help. As I read, God met me there. He revealed things to me—preparing me for what He was doing both in that moment and later that night. I read as much as I could before bed, then switched to the Amy Simpleton book until I fell asleep.
The next morning, Tom was trying to make things better, but I still wasn’t ready to let go. There were still things we needed to work through, and I didn’t want to just brush it off.
Eventually, though, we were able to sit down and be honest about what we were struggling with. The truth was finally out on the table:
- Tom had been grasping at me—trying to cling to me emotionally because he was facing battles of his own.
- With me working long hours and having evening meetings, he was feeling really lonely.
- He admitted that he was trying to have his emotional needs met through me, but the more he clung, the more I pulled away.
- The harder he grasped, the more distant I became.
It was a painful cycle, but thankfully, we were able to break through it. We talked, we listened, and—by God’s grace—we were able to resolve it.
Worship was so good today! And on top of that, E surprised us by coming to church with the kids!
It turned out to be a beautiful morning, and I truly feel like the gap between Tom and me has been closed. My heart is no longer hard toward him.
Thank you, Jesus!
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