Last night, as we were driving home from Family Night, A called to tell us that he and C are getting married in a couple of months. We had just spent the entire evening with him, and yet he waited until we left to tell us—over the phone! Needless to say, we are not thrilled about this news.
Lord, please intervene. Open his eyes and help him see that this may not be a wise decision.
Another call from Chase Bank.
They reached out again yesterday, and I spoke with two women. It’s so difficult to explain what we’re doing and why—because, to them, it doesn’t make sense. This time, I didn’t cry, but I walked away wondering, again, if we are truly in God’s will.
Tom also told me that the sheriff came by to deliver papers, which were essentially the same as what we received in the mail—a court date notice—but this one also stated that the foreclosure sale is scheduled for October 24th at 10:30 AM.
We are both struggling. Again.
It’s easy to say, “I will trust and not be afraid.” But actually living that out is not easy. One of the women on the phone yesterday said, “You’re not even doing anything to help your situation.” I told her—honestly—that this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. It would be so much easier to take matters into my own hands, to go through the programs, to try to fix everything myself.
But that’s not what God has called us to do.
One day, I will stand before the Creator of the universe, and I want to be able to say with confidence, “Lord, I trusted You.”
Lord, I need confirmation.
I need to know that we are still in Your will, because right now—I feel so off track.
At Work – 7:30 AM
After I wrote that prayer, I went downstairs to make breakfast and pack my lunch for work. Tom came down, and we talked more about how we were feeling. It’s not that we care so much about things anymore, but what weighs on us is how this looks to others.
People don’t understand why we’re not paying the bills—why we don’t seem to care or even be trying. Our integrity is at stake. Our witness is at stake. It’s hard enough for us to walk through this—let alone trying to explain it to others.
Then we read today’s devotion from Battlefield of the Mind, and once again, God answered immediately.
The devotion was about how the Israelites were such whiners:
"All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them,
‘If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert!
Why is the LORD bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword?
Our wives and children will be taken as plunder.
Wouldn't it be better for us to go back to Egypt?’"
—Numbers 14:2-3
Lord, help me not to be a grumbler or a whiner! Help me to trust You with my whole heart, mind, spirit, and soul.
Later, in my Hope Journal, I was reading in Daniel 1 & 2, and Daniel’s prayer when God revealed the king’s dream really spoke to me:
"Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever;
wisdom and power are his.
He changes times and seasons;
he sets up kings and deposes them.
He gives wisdom to the wise
and knowledge to the discerning.
He reveals deep and hidden things;
he knows what lies in darkness,
and light dwells with him.
I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers:
You have given me wisdom and power,
you have made known to me what we asked of you,
you have made known to us the dream of the king."
—Daniel 2:20-23
God is shifting my perspective.
Last night, at a women’s meeting, someone made a comment about how we often react out of fear—how we panic and scramble to fix things ourselves instead of trusting God with the outcome.
I spoke up and said, “There is nothing God does not see. He is aware of everything, and He desires to take care of us—if we will just let Him.”
And as I said it, I realized… a few months ago, I wouldn’t have even thought that, let alone spoken it aloud!
My perspective is changing right before my eyes. And it’s all in God’s favor. For His glory.
I truly believe that He is answering my prayer—my deep longing to see more of His power in my life. But His power is so great—He can’t just give it to anyone.
He has to prepare us.
He has to strengthen us.
He has to refine us so we can handle it with faith, discernment, and wisdom.
The plans He has for us—the future He is preparing—requires that we go through this process.
As difficult as it is, as painful as it is, we need to go through it to be ready for what He has in store.
Praise be to the name of God—forever and ever!
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