“Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”
Last night was incredibly difficult. I was completely drained from dealing with the mortgage company (which CT told me today was illegal for them to call me at work). With both Tom and me feeling stretched thin, stressed, and exhausted, we’ve started snapping at each other. Thankfully, we’re aware of it, so we recover quickly and apologize.
When I got home, we ate dinner, and all I wanted to do was sleep. But as always, our conversation turned to what God is doing. Tom shared that he had been thinking a lot about the scene in Facing the Giants when the coach pushes Brock to give everything he has. As Brock does the death crawl blindfolded, the coach keeps shouting, “Don’t give up on me! Just a little more… Give me everything you’ve got!” Meanwhile, Brock is in pain, saying, “It hurts! It burns! I can’t go any further!”
As Tom described it, tears streamed down my cheeks because I could relate to the struggle. Yes, I thought. It burns, and it hurts… my spiritual and faith muscles are burning! But I want to give Him everything I’ve got—I don’t want to give up.
Tom then mentioned a show he had watched about Special Forces training. These men endure unimaginable emotional and physical suffering to get through the program. But in the middle of the yard, there’s a bell. If they feel they can’t take any more, they ring the bell and quit. He remembered an episode where one man made it through the entire program—only to ring the bell two days before finishing. Everyone was in disbelief. After all that pain, suffering, and endurance, he gave up when he was so close.
Tom said that selling our house would feel like ringing the bell—like telling God we were done after enduring this trial for so long. He felt that we were so close to seeing God’s glory revealed, and if we gave up now, we might miss it. My heart was in complete agreement. I felt the same way.
Still, I found myself slipping into depression—into ultimate self-focus and pity. I went upstairs, lay in bed, and just wanted to escape into sleep. But I knew this was another battle I had to fight. So I decided to rest for a bit and get back up in a few minutes.
As I lay there, I started thinking about all the emails I needed to respond to. One of them was from SK, asking for an update. I didn’t have the time or energy to type everything out, so I decided to send him my journal along with the scripture document Tom had put together.
Later that night, around 9:00 PM, I went to bed. I heard Tom on the phone and wondered who had called—maybe SK had read my email and was calling to encourage Tom? Or perhaps it was family from California?
This morning, I checked my email and saw this response from SK:
Thank you SOOOO much for sharing honestly and in faith all that is going on with you. In my perfect world, all communication would be as straightforward and honest as yours. The love I feel for you after reading everything you sent is overwhelming!!!! And I am in absolute awe of your faith and steadfastness!!!! So inspiring!!!!!!!
I prayed to God after reading your note and asked again about sending money, as I have many times before. God has always said “no”… and He did again. But this time, I had the thought to ask if it would be OK if I got the car back from CarMax. Incredibly, to that, God said YES!!!!!
I called Tom and confirmed that it would be OK. He gave me the contact information, and I will try to take care of it tomorrow. I’ll call Tom by the end of the day and let him know what happens.
I'm so thankful for all that both of you have meant in my life.
Thanks again for sharing your soul and spirit with me.
All I could do was say, “OH MY GOD!” as the tears started rolling down my face. God, You are so good!
I couldn’t believe Tom had been able to sleep last night at all! He came downstairs all stoic, trying to surprise me, not realizing I had already read the email. I was so excited and said, “You must be jumping out of your skin!” He looked surprised and asked how I knew. When I told him, we both had a good, happy cry this morning—basking in God’s glory. Thank You, Jesus!
Of course, I had to call CT and tell her. She made me promise she would be the first to know when God did what He was going to do.
Later, I realized I hadn’t responded to SK’s email yet. That’s when I thought of the story in Acts 12:12-16, when Peter was miraculously released from jail and knocked on the disciples’ door. The servant girl, so excited to hear Peter’s voice, ran to tell everyone… but forgot to let him in! That made me smile.
Scripture of the Day:
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood."
—1 John 4:4-6
Tom called me after speaking with CarMax and said that while the car wasn’t completely paid off, all the back payments were made, plus a couple of months in advance. That caught me off guard—I had assumed it would be paid off entirely. But I refuse to let the enemy rob me of the joy of seeing God come through for us in such an incredible way. My eyes must stay on Him and His promise to take care of us.
I ended up staying at work until nearly 8:30 PM (from 7:00 AM—a 13.5-hour day). It feels impossible to get any work done during business hours with all the calls, emails, and interruptions!
But through it all, I hold onto this truth: God is faithful.
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